When I was bouncing at a Bar called the Blue Iguana, after a few months I began to know the customers. They were a friendly lot. So I use to turn a blind eye to some of the antics, because sometimes ya got to let them play and have some fun. Bouncing was customer service, so you had to straddle a line to try to keep things fun, from make sure no hurts others, themselves, or fricking destroy the bar.
One charector was a guy who we call Kid Rock, because he looks a little like Kid Rock (though I say he looks more like Micheal Bolton). I remember this night, for it was one of those rare nights that the energy was just good, everyone was in a good mood. It was going to be an easy night for the bouncers. As the night wore on I could see Kid getting more and more drunk. I said to myself he’s going to do something stupid, not in a bad way, but in a funny, “oh crap, remember that shit” kind of way.
So I was at my spot, just watching the patrons get drunk, listening to the music, then all of a sudden I look to my right towards the pool table. There’s Kid Rock with his pants to his ankles, butt naked, with a plunger in his hand. He then commences to play pool with the plunger while naked. I started laughing so hard, I was afraid I was going to piss my pants. I guess I should do my duty, I told him to pull up his pants.
Now normally that would be the end of the story, funny little tale. Nope it ain’t. So the next Monday morning I get a call from the owner to come in to discuss something. I knew this can’t be good. So I go in, the owner says, “Sit down, River.” I go, “Whats up boss?” The owner then starts to read from this report, “Man, wearing a bandanna, comes out of the bathroom, naked with a plunger it hand….” After about a few minutes of describing things the report ended, “The bouncers did some to care that the man was naked…and failed to react to the situation.” It was one of the hardest things for me to keep a straight face, and not to laugh.
Well it seems a Secret Shopper was in that night, and reported everything. Even though I was not named in the report, I was in charge of security at the time, so the responsibility fell on me. I told the owner that I was on the other side of the bar dealing with another situation, and that once I saw what was happening, I corrected the problem. Well after a good half hour of lecturing, I walked out of there laughing my ass off.
I still hang out with Kid, and from time to time he feels the need to show everyone his ass. I got to say though he’s not the guy who’s ass I seen the most, that spot is taken by White Chocolate, who’s ass I seen more then any other guy on this planet. Which is wrong, but he’s also my cousin, which is really wrong. Though if Kid doesn’t watch it, he may overtake my cousin for that coveted position.