It’s probably the question I get asked most often by people. “Why do they call you River?” I never tell them the story. Why? Well it’s way stupid, and it is really not that good of story, and one of the people that started calling me that who was there has passed on, so to honor him I don’t tell anyone the story. So you won’t be finding out today thats for sure.
I will tell you a secret though, why it almost replaces my real name. When I started bouncing my nickname was River, I was being paid cash. So if anything ever happened in terms of some bad fight, or IRS. The owner could honestly say No when asked, ” Do you have anyone named Chris working for you?” Nope just River. So after so many years of bouncing, and people just knowing me from the bars as River, it kind of grew. I worked at alot of Bars, I’ve worked from Downtown to Near Joliet. So asked by a stranger, What’s my name? I tell them River. Sometimes those strangers become friends, and since River is all they ever called me. That’s what they continue to do.
It doesn’t bother me, actually it amuses the hell out of me. It’s like Braveheart, this guy River can shoot fireballs out of his arse, I cannot. It also reminds me of that SNL skit where they are talking about this dude. Bill Braxby.
One girl I know HATES the fact I’m called River, she thinks I have a superman complex. I probably do, hell I got enough Superman shirts. She thinks River is an alter ego, a dangerous one. She might be right, but I’ve been River almost longer then people known me as Chris.
A funny story, I knew this girl for a few months, and I was taking her to a friends wedding. I had to tell her. “By the way if anyone asks you about Chris that’s probably me.” She looked at me stunned, “Wait, your real name isn’t River?” I replied, “Nope, it’s just a nickname.” She was like, “Ah, ok when you were going to tell me your real name?” I looked at her, and said, “Probably when we had are second child.” She didn’t laugh at that.
