Monday Hangover

Well I’m back at it. Friday I didn’t really do anything.

Saturday was a bad day at the hospital, I had to help the nursing aide hold my stepfather, while she changed his diaper, as I was holding him. He started to tear up, and softly said “I’m sorry”  I am not that emotional, but I almost lost it.

I needed a drink, badly.

So Saturday River was in full effect.  Did I drink alot? Yes. Did I dance? Yes. Did I act a fool? A definate hell yes. I started the night at a friends house for her birthday. I felt a little bad for leaving early, but I had to go get my serious drink on.  #1 went to the renassiance faire earlier that day, which I missed due to I had to take my mom to the hospital. #1 had these set of horns, I put them on. I think theirs pictures floating around of me somewhere. Well I went to Teehans, and they got some girls talking to me, and I got a hot blondes email addy. Thanks #1.  I get email addy’s instead of phone numbers by the way. Women are more apt to give out an email address then a phone number. Email them a couple times, and usually their hooked, if your good.

Alas I’m not good. I went to Durbins to finish the night. Overall a good Saturday had some fun, got a little crazy.

Sunday just chilled out, had a few beers, and watched thee Bears. The weekend went by too fast, but it was a decent one, besides the stepdad thing of course.

Mikes Pic of the Week

It’s countdown to football season, son. Let’s get some football fever rolling!!!!

Can I be her Indian?

We are All Dust and Shadow

Horace said this centuries ago, in latin it is, “Pulvis et Umbra Sumus” , or to put it another way. Kansas said, “We are all Dust in the Wind”

I was thinking about it this morning.  So what is the point, no one will remember most of us when we are dead and are bones have turned to dust. What’s the point of worrying, and getting yourself all upset of a problem that given a day or two will probably be a distant memory.Life moves forward whether you are there or not. When bad things happen we can just sit there and mope, and hop on the pity pot, and go “Woe is me” . Or you can motivate yourself to aspire for more, for the sake of being better.

With all this futility in life, why bother. Simple. Life is pretty cool. Look outside on a Sunny day. See the clouds pass overhead, take in a breath of fresh air. Soak in the day with your senses. Be in the moment. Live in the moment. Realize somethings we can control in life, but others we can not. Let go of your desires, and wants for it is the path to suffering. Let go of your expectations of others, and enjoy them for what they are.

It’s a pretty awesome life, and every day I have is really a treasure.

Frank Sinatra once said, “Live every day like it was your last, because one of these days your going to be right.”

Thug Tales

It’s been awhile since I told you a story from my past. I was a thug, I beat, I stole, I smoked, I drank, I partied. I didn’t care about myself or anyone else.

One time I made an extremely large bet with a bookie. Well it would take some time to pay him off, but he kept pressuring me. So I was bouncing one night, and he came in with a thug of his own. 

 Now where I bounced there was a set of stairs, and I stood at the top to check ID’s, and take money. Well this bookie comes in with his thug, which made me laugh he looked older. So the bookie says to me, “You got my money?”  I look at his “enforcer” and laughed. I then punched the enforcer tossed him down the stairs. As he lay moaning at the bottom of the stairs. I look at him, “Never come to my place of business again. I will give you your money, but it will take a little time. Now if that isn’t good for you, we can make another arrangement if you would like.”  The bookie goes, “I’m sorry River, I didn’t mean anything by it, I just want my money.”  I tell him, “I understand, now get the fuck out of here.” I point to the groaning guy at the bottom of the stairs, “And take your trash with you.”

Funny I had to really look for the bookie when it was time to pay.

Immortality

Why do I do stupid stuff? Why do I do insane things?  Alot of people have kids to carry on their name. I most likely will not. I have made peace with this. I feel  if people remember me, then maybe some small bit that I am leaving some legacy.

In reality none of us will be remembered 3 generations from now, if we are we will just be a blip on our great, great, great grandkids family tree project. They will not know how I felt, who I was,  where I came from, and how my life was like. Like the song we are all but dust in the wind.  I know this, but some part of me wants to be remembered. That’s why I write as well. I want people to know that I existed.

I really enjoy being that guy, an that’s why I am an attention whore.  I get sick thrill when I walk into Jiffy Lube, and they go, “Your the guy who ate 3 burritos”, or I go to a bar, and someone says, “Your the dude who chugged a fifth of whiskey”  Most likely they won’t remember my name, but they do remember a bit of my life, and to me that’s cool.  Reminds me of the movie Pirates. The Navy Officer says to Johnny Depp, “Your the worst pirate I have ever heard of.”, Johnny’s answer, “Ah, but you have heard of me.”

 So next time I’m doing something stupid, though the act may be stupid, I am hoping to get a laugh, and you remember me.

That’s my Immortality, and that’s all I got until I figure out how to become a Werewolf.

First night of class

Went to class last night, for the first time I feel maybe a little over my head. It’s about Cisco Security, and it’s really in depth. I thought it was going to be an overview type class of Network Security. Boy was I wrong. I might actually do homework for this class. I don’t think I did homework when I was working on my Bachelors. I bullshited  my way through that.

A challenge will be a nice change of pace though, haven’t had one of those in awhile

A Day at a Time

Sorry no Monday Hangover, I think you need to get drunk to have a hangover. As some of you may know, my stepfather had a stroke on Thursday. I spent most of my time at the hospital Loyola in Maywood. I think the most dangerous part has passed, I hope. They used a procedure that basically blasts all clots of the body. As far as I know that’s what a stroke is, a clot getting to the brain. He’s been out of it since in a coma like state, but every so often he kinda pops out of it. He knows where he is, what year, who my mom is.  So there is hope.

Thoughts sometimes come unbidden to my mind, like will he get better, what will be the state of things. My mom is handicapped as well if they are both, since I’m the only single one, with not much really go on, will I have to move in with them to help them. He controlled the finances, my Mom really doesn’t know where he stashes things, and where everything is. If he doesn’t have all his facilities, what will that mean for their finances. All these thoughts race through my head. I learned from my days in Gamblers Anon. that you need to take life “One day at a time”, meaning lets get through this hurdle first, and then worry about tomorrow. So I have to put such thoughts out of my head, and do what must be done to help my Stepfather out of the hospital.

Really touching scene, John, my stepfather had a moment of clarity, and really first time I heard him speak. My Mom told him, “I’m here honey, I love you.”  He uttered the best he could, “I love you too.”  Touched his heart, and tried to kiss her hand.  Here he is 8 million tubes in him, a neck brace, can’t move worth of shit, first thing I heard from him is how much he loved my Mother.  I’m not very emotional, but that moved me. That earns so much respect, and admiration for him, If I need to carry that man on my back for the rest of my days, I will.

Another bit of hope, he slipped out of his coma like state, and the nurse asked him what he wanted, he replied, “Gin and Tonic”  What a Rockstar.

Another funny moment, I love my Uncle to death, but he makes me look sane. We’re sitting there, and the Hospital Chaplain comes in, and he has an accent. My Uncle asks him, “Are you polish?” The Chaplain says, “No I’m Romanian”  Uncle replies, “You guys still got Vampires out there.” I almost pissed myself laughing.  The Chaplain goes, “No I don’t think so.”  Uncle looks around, and goes, “I see alot of bloodsuckers around here for sure.” 

As for John, we’ll see today, what the neurosurgeon says, alot of this is probably because of swelling of the brain, and the drugs. We just got to take it a day at a time.

So, you don’t like Photo Friday Sherry?

Well, how do you like it now, bitch?

My Stepfather John

My Aunt just called me he had a stroke this morning, I have no clue how he is doing, or how my mother is doing. I hate not knowing. He’s just a great guy, and he has been a wonderful man to my mother, and always been there for me, and my family.

If there is any kind of justice in this world I hope God sees him through.

Taking a Higher Road

I,  like alot of males (and some women) in this country have a lot of issues with competition, even when we don’t have to.  Amongst our friends, we berate each other, make fun of each other, rip on each other. I am as guilty as all of them. It’s what guys do…but does it make it right?

A popular webcomic site brought a campaign to light, and I thought about it in terms of gaming. You can read more here.

As I dwelled on the subject. I started asking why do i berate the people I know, and care about? Is it funny, or fun? Well besides the reparte of it, the back and forth of it.  I find it funny when people find fault with me in a good natured way, and we go back and forth.

Do I take it to far though? Do I beat a dead horse? Do I ever harm with my words. I’m sure no one has ever cried online when I called them a douchebag. I wonder sometimes though when I speak, and berate others maybe it’s best I shouldn’t even if it’s good natured. My mother said, “If you haven’t got anything good to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all”

Perhaps I should start growing up, perhaps I should start taking the high road, and not berate others at all…..

Then again part of me say Fuck’em if they can’t take a joke.