Tales from the Bighouse (Good Guy Edition)
As everyone is aware, River lived a past life full of lying, cheating, and stealing. He was the worm that was eating at the core of our great society! I, however, choose a different, and all more noble path.
While I was in the United States Air Force, I served proudly as a Military Policeman. During my time in, I saw many a scum like River brought to justice. When I became a civilian, I began working at the Missoula Police Department in Montana. Again, I witnessed the many of the low lights of the human condition. People would come to me with their stories of abuse and crimes of passion. However, one event stands out as one of the dumbest things someone could do. It was a Saturday morning, and everything was pretty quiet. Then, some lady comes in to the station and starts telling me about how she was in some wooded area outside of town with her kids. There, she said she had found a suspicious looking device with wires sticking out. 9-11 was only a year or so out of people’s minds, so people were still on “alert” you could say. By alert, I mean that anyone with a dark complexion was “suspicious.” Racism aside, this woman tells me that she has brought the device from the secluded wooded area into town! Where is it now? Of course, its in her car outside! I asked her, “If you think it’s a bomb, why did you pick it up, bring it into town, let alone even touch the damn thing?” She felt pretty stupid, and deservingly so. Anyway, that is but one of the many things I witnessed on the right side of the law.