Friday - I wanted to go out with the German to discuss the Ginny situation in person, but he never called me back. I’ll give him his space, He probably hates me which I don’t blame him. I remember at Jamesons we had a talk about this subject, and he told me if Ginny was going out with me he would be happy. I told him at the time we were just friends, which at this point me and Ginny are just friends still, but I emailed him recently that it might lead to more, or might not. I just wanted to prepare German, that maybe Ginny is going to be around a bit more. I emailed him because I had no time this week, and I wanted to snub the rumors. My tactic we’re wrong I admit, but my heart was in the right place. My point is I think he is harboring more feelings then I thought, and he didn’t really mean what he said at Jamesons. To be brutally honest I had feelings for Gina a long, long time ago, and let Jackass date her, and the German, and I didn’t care because either a girl wants to be with you..or doesn’t. The only person you can control is you.
Here is what’s called a Zen Koan, it’s a story that is suppose to give you a little lesson, and enlighten you. When I am pining away for someone I think of this Koan.
Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.
Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.
“Come on, girl” said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.
Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”
“I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”
I still needed drink, so I met Geek Princess out for a couple. Well….a Couple, I mean a few. Well we ended up staying out all night, and getting White Castles.
Saturday – I had plans with Ginny at 8, but me and Jackass had an old friend in from Arizona, so I tried to have my cake and eat it too…. Well like Icurus I reached to close to the sun, and got burned…real bad. It was real good to see this friend, and I laughed real hard at all the good times we had. Then my and Jackass got to drinking, and Tallegdega came out too. Lets just say there are ALOT of memory gaps, and I woke up in my bed, not know how I got there, and how there was O.S. in my fridge. One of the containers had just 2 mushrooms in it. Was I full, and wanted to save the two mushrooms or something. I have no clue.
Sunday – I rose from the grave, and had to go to the cemetary with my grandfather to see my grandmothers grave, and go to a special mass. I just chilled the rest of the day, and I’m pissed at myself pulling into my garage I got the angle wrong, and scratched my shit up.
Also Commando lost her grandfather this weekend, My heart, thoughts, and prayers goes out to her. Her, and her family are such good people it pains me to see them hurt.