I’m not talking about the stages at Glastonbury or Coachella. I’m referring to the fabulous stages of grief. That article has proven to be rather helpful for me in the last few days and I’m sure it will continue to be so.
Archive for Men
5 months. That’s how long it has taken for me to meet someone new and fall in love since separating from my husband.
Totally bizarre how it’s all happened and I know lots of people think it’s fast but to be honest, it really doesn’t feel it. This is because I am a different person to the one I was at the beginning of April. I was a shadow of myself and wasn’t happy. Back in March when I quit one guild and joined another, I realised that I was happier in game than in RL because I was able to be totally me in game without someone judging me.
That was quite a shock. And part of how I rediscovered the real Amy again. Warcraft and all the Twitter folk have certainly helped in a weird way. I remember saying things to several friends and saying afterwards ‘oh god, please don’t judge me on that’ and they all said, ‘Judge you?! Wth for?!’ I realised I’d been judged for a VERY long time.
Now I’m back to being me again. A little older and wiser than last time and certainly a lot stronger and wearing a few battle scars, but I’m proud of them and wouldn’t change anything. I’ve learnt to be me again, and if anyone dares judge me now, they’d better run for cover.
As I get older, I feel like I’m working against some unknown time limit. Like I better get started if I want to have a family of my own. I know women when they reach 40 it’s harder for them to bare children. So they do have a biological clock, but men I know we can still impregnant women when were old and gray, in our 60′s at least. Hell I was watching an interview with the late great Luciano Pavorotti. He had a kid at 65. The thing is I want to enjoy my childs, childhood if it were. I want to play ball with him, do things with him, show him a world I never seen before.
I have always never really cared if a women spends time with me or not. If they want to spend time with me, and have fun. Cool. If not I’ll find someone else. I want a women who wants to be with me, and spend time with me. Lately though I feel this weight on me, like my chances are passing me by. I refuse to settle for anyone though, as time goes by my standards have gone down. Not really in terms of looks, but in terms of shit I will put up with from girls.
I want to be in love, and be loved. I always wanted the wife, the dog, the house, the kids, the white picket fence, but as the years go by, that dream like sand in my hand is slipping through. It sucks being an idealist.
But I wonder is this some sort of biological clock alarm going off?
So being Mr. Nonthreatening, Cuddly, They probably think I’m gay Guy that I am. Sometime I get to sneak behind enemy lines so to speak. They think I am bored or disinterested, or maybe I have no clue what they are talking about.
Secretly I am analyzing them , watching them, listening to how, and what they talk about. Why? To help my fellow man. I imagine not all guys get to be surrounded by beautiful women all the time, and have them think this guy is ok to share more intimate side of themselves, a side a few guys see.
Here’s what I learned, when women get in groups, and I am but a fly on the wall.
- Just as dirty as we are when they are by themselves. From fake dicks, to talking about leaving tampons in weird locales. So the next time a girl gets offended because you Mr. Tough guy say something a little naughty. Tell them to go get bent.
-How we crack about our ball and chain, they do the same thing when they are alone with each other. How their guys do this or that. She probably even told her friends how your skills lack going downstairs.
- They joke around, and kid with each other alot like guys do, but the topics are different, they might talk about how one girls bra looks, and we talk about how a dude swings his bat a little bit too effeminate. Tip: Find the man in the boat, he is your friend.
- God they love a bargain, mention 20% off they start drooling like I do over a Hustler.
- Girls love to share on their food, it reminds me like a bunch of lionesses over a zebra carcass. They all take a bit from the leg, and the ribs just for a test.
- Last but not least don’t let them fool you, they know what their doing. They plan, and scheme by themselves, or with each other. If you suddenly find yourself at an “event” wearing a sweater you find itchy and hideous, but they think it’s cute. You know they hatched that plan 3 months ago to get rid of your sleeveless Metallica shirt with the mustard stain from Willy Dogs. Man come to think of it since you been dating her when was the last time you went to Willy’s Dogs, between the Tofu Vegetarian places she got you running to now.
Bottomline I think, the men and women have more in common then they think, it’s just our methods our different. The way we go about things are slightly different. Men are more direct, women more subtle. I think the goals are the same though…we all want to fuck like rabbits.
Just a side note, pretty girls know their pretty they get guys hitting on them all the time. Two types of pretty girl, the genuine one that if you treat them like a normal person, then they will treat you like one, or the spoiled ones, who think because they are pretty they are entitled to something, avoid them.
So there’s some girlie drama happening in my office, and I said to one of the girls whose side I’m kinda on…cause well she’s kinda hot. I said, “Sometimes you girls amaze me.” She replied, “Aren’t you glad your not a chick?” My response was, ” I wake up every morning, grab my penis, and say thank you God.”
Then I got to thinking, in these recessional times we live in. It’s alot more expensive to be a girl. You got your makeup, your hair products, your tampons, your shoe and clothes obsessions. We guys are pretty much wash and wear, maybe thats why we have to pay for dinner, and drinks at bars. All the girls money is going for them to look good for us. least we can do is shell out a few ducketts for dinner.
Don’t get me started on the whole bleeding once a month thing. All I gotta do is avoid cold pools of water, and I’m all good.
So I was bopping around todayin a good mood, and I thought maybe because it’s warmer today, 30 degrees is warm compared to last week, or maybe because the Sun is starting to be out longer. Then I thought of what one girl said to me, “Men have their own cycles, and have their own version of PMS”
I started to wonder are we all cyclic as humans, certain times of the year, and month we are more prone to certain things, certain emotions. As I think back I know I am very seasonal, like I go more into hibernation in the winter, and become more crazy, and wild in the summer. Like the deer, or salmon maybe there are times of the year we are more apt to be more up, and vicarous like a mating season of sorts. Though I don’ t think there are certain times of the month that I am more down, or up.
Maybe this is something I should keep track of, just a one word letter for the mood I am in that day, do it for a couple of months and see if there is a pattern.
What do you think, do you think men have their own cycles?
So buddy your going to get your nails done, your hair styled, or maybe your chest waxed? 10 years ago you would of been laughed at, or you were going to a swim meet. Now this goes for heterosexual males this post, because really homosexual males are blessedly free from the burden of trying to figure out the female of the species in a romantic way. Though trying to figure them out in any way is a chore for any male homosexual, heterosexual, or eunach. Now this post is a sweeping generalization, and indictment of our society, I apologize in advance. Where are we going as the male of the species? A good friend of mine Nora who posts at Shoulda Woulda Coulda had this to say.
I’m not pointing fingers, but she’s right women our confused, but in their confusion we have allowed ourselves to be confused thus compounding the situation. The only ones to blame men is us. We allowed the women to drive us to such ends. Women are the gatekeepers of sex in society, we men just allow ourselves to be deluded by these fair creatures. When women don’t know what they want, how the hell is it we know what they want so we can do that which they want. I think there was a song a few years ago about a woman complaining “Where have all the cowboys gone?” Hate to say it, but I think their at the nail salons getting manicures, and pedicures.
Society has progressed so fast, that human nature is not keeping up. Harry the Caveman was a hunter. Sara the Cavewoman wanted food, He got food, Sara wanted a dry place to sleep, Harry killed a bear and took his cave. All very simple. In this day and age though Sara doesn’t know what she wants. We treat you like a woman, you say were sexist. We treat you like a man, you cry because were not sensitive enough. We treat you like an equal, your indifferent to us.
So once we get past the fact that women are confused, and don’t know what they want. We let them change us. In an effort to appease them we change, no longer the cowboy, but a wussy boy. They even made us into a sub-species of male they call the meterosexual, a male peacock who trys to preen himself for the female of the species.
How do we solve this problem? We become the men we should be, but within reason. Being a man doesn’t give us right to be an asshole. Being a man isn’t about domineering women, it’s about knowing what one wants out of life, and not compromising. It’s not about being the best dressed, it’s about having your own sense of style, and not caring what anybody else thinks. It’s not about being unfeeling, it’s about having the emotional fortitude to know when it’s ok to cry, and know when it’s time to be strong, and to be a pillar of rock for those you love. It’s not about being tough guy, it’s about protecting those that need protection.
As a side note if your a man, and you are or have ever beaten, molested or raped a woman you my friend are lower then scum, and are no man. You are a coward, and I firmly believe as a coward one day you will get yours. That’s all I’ll say on this topic.
Want a crash course on being a man.
Go and Buy these movies cause they are your new manuals. – Godfather I & II, The Good , Bad, and the Ugly, Vikings with Kirk Douglas, Enemy Below with Robert Mitchum, and Patton with George C. Scott. Start with those I’ll give you more later.
Things in these movies bring out what it means to be a man, and the man one should strive to be.
Like in the Godfather, when Vito slaps the crying Johnny saying “You can act like a man”, or when Vito says ” A man who doesn’t spend time with his family, isn’t a man”
To me the essence of being a man is in the movie The Vikings, Ragnar the leader of the Vikings is imprisoned, and they want to throw him to the wolfs, but in Viking culture you can’t get to Valhalla (Their Heaven) unless you die with your sword in your hand. So he begs for his sword. A then young Tony Curtis gives Ragnar his sword played by Ernest Borgnine. Ragnar takes the sword, jumps a little at his enemies, then wide eyed, smiles at Tony, the leaps into the pack of starving wolves screaming “ODIN!!!!”
That is the essence of man, fearless, brave, uncowardly, and unrelenting
How to fix this I am a firm believer if we have a problem we should have a solution to try to fix the problem. Part of this problem is women raise most of our children. Fathers do not take an active role in the raising of their children. Most male children do not have a positive male role model in their life. Luckily I did my father, and uncles. Men who taught me what it means to be a man. I think the absence and downfall of alot of all-male institutions is part of this problem as well. The strip club is the last bastion where a man can be a man, and that’s not really a good thing. Men also need to start thinking with the big head and a lot less with the small head. It’s nice to get laid, but for every action there is a consequence. Another thing is women need to educate themselves and not fall victim to all the mass media. They have more power in society they also have more responsibility, in other words make up your mind on what you want in life.
Last but not least men, just be men. Women will either love you or hate you, but at least you lived your life like the great Frank Sinatra did his way.