Archive for March, 2008


Posted in Warcraft on March 31, 2008 by theeriver

Ok I have an addictive personality, I fought many demons about it. My newest one is World of Warcraft. Now its better then some addictions like oh lets say crack. It doesn’t in fact ruin my social life, like I rather stay in and play then actually go out an enjoy myself, but ALOT of my freetime is eaten up by this addiction, time best used for a more productive pursuit like learning how to play a guitar. Sad thing is when I get bored with it, and think about quitting something takes my interest again.  My current obsession is my 70 rogue, quite impressive full pvp gear, combat specced, general bad ass well at least I thought until I ran into a level 70 warlock. Damn he bent me over and did me raw, ouch.  Those warlocks are WAY to overpowered it’s scary.

So now I think i might level a warlock.

Oh by the way if you don’t know what I’m talking about, and you don’t play world of warcraft don’t worry about this post isn’t for you.

“The torch of doubt and chaos, this is what the sage steers by” – Chuang tzu

Posted in Philosophy on March 31, 2008 by theeriver

This person I care about deeply has a problem, she lives her life by a plan. I know a lot of women that do this, and I start to wonder if this is a woman issue, or maybe the men that have this issue are hiding from me. Now I admire a person who makes a plan and sticks to it. The problem with this woman, and so many others I know is this when the plan does not come about as planned they get upset, emotionally and sometimes physically as well. This weekend I confronted the person about this issue, and she started to tearing up…

Once while bouncing I was the only bouncer on duty, it was nickel draft night, about 30 guys and 2 girls at the bar. A bar brawl breaks out the kind you only see in westerns. As I try to pull one guy off another, while trying to fend off blows from a sundry of other dudes, I feel a large “THUNK” on my head. I keep going and the police finally arrive. Later I am sitting at the bar, having a after shift drink, a waitress comes up to me and says “Oh my god are you ok?”. I’m like, “yeah, why?” She replied, ” You got hit with a metal stool over your head”. I was thankful it wasn’t a bottle.

The point with that story is I would rather get hit with a hundred stools, then deal with a woman crying. I really don’t know what to do, it’s like kryptonite for me. So I did a silly dance, made a fool of myself and got her to laugh.

I am the total opposite of these people that like to plan, but I know how they feel. Once in my life my demons that I battle daily got the best of me, my life was complete chaos. I didn’t even know where I was going to get money for my next meal, let alone have a plan, or a to do list. What came to my rescue is Zen Buddism, among other things. Now I am no practitioner, I do not sit in my robes and chant all day. I did take stock in it’s teachings and try to learn something. One of the principles is  “The only thing we can control in this universe is ourselves”. This was and still is my mantra. I can not control other people, I can not control other things, I can not control the outcome of certain life decisions. The only thing I can control is myself in this moment. Do I turn left or right, once I make that decision the rest is up to the universe.

Learn more about Zen,

 I will leave you with my favorite quote from the book Of Mice and Men -” The best laid plans of Mice and Men often go awry”

Myspace is for losers!

Posted in Computers on March 29, 2008 by theeriver

I was at the bar about a week ago, no surprise, and an older waitress said Myspace was for losers. It had me thinking is myspace, and in proxy these other networking site for losers. Personally I like the fact where I got a spot on the internet where I can keep in touch with people, and more importantly keep track of some of my favorite local bands, and musical artists, with that added bonus of putting up a stupid ass comment on someone I knows Myspace page. I think Myspace as well as for the internet has a bad side and a good side. The bad side is plagued with porn, the pediophiles, the hackers, etc. The good side has well you normal people who just want to surf the web, and veg out.  The internet is a tool no more no less, like a chainsaw most people use them to cut down trees, then there’s others who go on a murderous rampage a la texas chainsaw massacre. So if I use a chainsaw to cut up bodies does that make the chainsaw inherently evil. I think we can bring the same argument to gun control, but I won’t go there yet. My point is because some losers use Myspace, does that make me a loser by proxy? I do get this sense maybe I am that guy where I use to bounce back in the day at a 21+ aged people danceclub who’s a 50+ year old with a vest that says “Dr. Love” on it, true story, something about it don’t seem right. I get the sense maybe it’s time to find something a little more mature.

In other news today while I am at work I noticed in my email a 4000 dollar price to do a google mash up from

A google mashup is a procedure where you use java to include the google map api interface to show where some location is. It involves some java coding. Here’s an example.

I was reading the basic coding principles of this, and all I know is dang it’s been a while since I coded, but for a chance 4000 dollars heck i might give it a stab, even though i don’t see the fucking point of it.

Pay heed to the words the lie within…..

Posted in River on March 28, 2008 by theeriver

I wanted to give you a little insight why I named my blog thus.

“Chaotic Ramblings”- I will be spewing forth thoughts, and things with no rhyme nor reason, but there may be method to my madness. 

“An Esoteric Fool” – That’s me, well esoteric means understandable to only a select few, and well sometimes I play the fool role all to well.

“My insanity, our world “- Well I am insane, and I would like to to share my brand of insanity with you, i pray you share yours with me. It is our world, we all live here.

Reminds me of the movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”,  when Spicoli, a young Sean Penn, says “If I’m here, and your here, isn’t it our time”

“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything” – Mark Twain

Posted in General Life with tags , on March 28, 2008 by theeriver

Honesty…. I was thinking about this today. How many of us are honest. Not only to others, but to ourselves. We tell little white lies to protect the innocent. We might steal a few jelly beans from the bin at the store. We tell ourselves we aren’t hurting anyone whats the big deal.I think dishonesty is like drugs, you have your gateway drugs like alchohol, and weed. Then you got your big ones like heroin, and cocaine. When you start being dishonest it gives you practice for the real big things like say cheating on a test, or even worse your wife. I endeavor to be honest in all my dealings, and behavior. Well you say should I tell someone they look like shit, no being honest does not mean being an asshole. Also being honest frees you from having to keep track of all your lies. I don’t know how some people do that. 

The hardest part for me is to be honest with myself. I have to know when I am deluding myself, like when I get drunk I may tell myself “I’m just blowing off steam”, or “I’m just having a good time”. How does one work on being honest with themselves?

 Here’s wikipedia’s take on honesty…

A religous take on honesty…