Archive for April, 2008

Poetry Saturday – To Her

Posted in Poetry with tags , , on April 19, 2008 by theeriver

Lynnard Skynnard was purely awesome, I would have to say closest thing to a religous experience as I would ever have. Ok here’s this weeks poem.

To Her by Christopher “River” Cavelle

She believed in me,
When I had no faith in anything.

She cared about me,
When I didn’t even care about myself.

She taught me,
When I was ignorant on a great many things.

She laughed with me,
When there wasn’t much laughter in my life.

She loved me,
When I didn’t even know the meaning of the word.

She’s a lot of things to alot of people,
When to me she will always just be.

She was my friend, and I loved her

Zen Wednesday- Open your own treasure house.

Posted in Philosophy with tags , , , on April 16, 2008 by theeriver

 On Wednesday I will bringing to you a koan from Zen Buddist teachings. Koans are teaching devices.

Learn more about Koans here.

The point here is maybe get some dialogue going in the meaning of these koans, and how we can apply that knowledge to every day life.

This one is called

Open Up Your Treasure House.

Daiju visited the master Baso in China. Baso asked: “What do you seek?”

“Enlightenment,” replied Daiju.

“You have your own treasure house. Why do you search outside?” Baso asked.

Daiju inquired: “Where is my treasure house?”

Baso answered: “What you are asking is your treasure house.”

Daiju was enlightened! Ever after he urged his friends: “Open your own treasure house, and use those treasures.”

Diary of a Bouncer – The tears of a deaf girl.

Posted in Barlife with tags , , , , on April 15, 2008 by theeriver

Welcome to the Diary of a Bouncer, as you may or may not know in the few times I had a run in with deaf at the various bars I worked at the situation came to no good.

I use to work at a bar called the Blue Iguana, it was a sports bar that had local bands, and DJ’s. In it’s hey day it drew a pretty good crowd. Well there was a group of deaf people that would come in from time to time, and amongst them was a pretty good looking deaf girl who we will call Tara. Tara was pretty hot, and she could read lips, and talk somewhat. For the most part everyone in this group was well behaved.

Well late one night we were kinda busy, and I was at my post at the front door which was near one of the womens washrooms. A girl came out and said, “Excuse me but I think people are having sex in the womens bathroom”

Now this got to me, how dare they defile my place of business, like animals they couldn’t take it to a car, or motel, or fricking behind the dumpster. But most importantly I was pissed cause they made me do work.

So I knock on the door, no answer, I knock one more time and say I am coming in. I go in, and sure as shit two pair of feet in one stall.

*BOOM* I kick the stall door down, and there is Tara sucking a guys dick, one of the deaf guys. I tell the dude to zip the fuck up, and for them to both get the fuck out. As I am escorting them out. Tara is apologizing, and what not begging me to allow them to say. Now I’m pissed, and I just want them out. I look at her, and say, “Get the fuck out, you deaf whore.” That’s when the water works come, she’s sobbing, and she’s screaming she’s not a deaf whore.  She kept trying to explain to me she wasn’t a whore, and I just opened the door for her, and in a cold tone replied “Bye.”

I never saw her again…I wonder why?


Poetry Saturday’s – 2 different flavors from yours truly.

Posted in Poetry with tags on April 12, 2008 by theeriver

Well it’s Saturday and I use Saturday as a place to put up my poems that I am working on, or showcase poems the I enjoy. Today is an original that I have been toying with. I hope you like it, and I love constructive criticism.

I am usually more of a traditional poet with rhyme and verse this one is a constant work, toying with the freeform. I haven’t quite got it yet, I feel. but I wanted to share it though, and break away from the norm.

Thy Enemy by Christopher “River” Cavelle

I’m face to face,

Staring into your soulless eyes.

My tongue unloads only venom,

“You’re the fault that my life sucks.

Why do you torment me!

Every time my life seems to be going straight,

You destroy it,

with whatever temptation crosses your path”

Now my mouth spills forth only pain,

“I had everything, you wasted it.

Every opportunity, every tool, gone, ground into the dust.

My future scattered upon the four winds, my life shambles.

Why did you fuck my life up…WHY DAMN IT!!, ANSWER ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!

Answer me….Answer me…….Answer.”

Then I remember that mirrors don’t answer back.


I’ll give you now an older poem I wrote. This is more traditional in my eyes, rhyme and form. Not a huge fan of it, but meh

Cruel Mistress by Christopher “River” Cavelle

Chained to the wall, that is my destiny.
Kept by a cruel mistress called Fate.

She shows me both terrible joys, and exquisite misery.
Her whims and onslaught will never abate.

Blindfolded so her designs I cannot see.
The future she has in store for me, I cannot deviate.

It seems I will struggle against my chains for an eternity.
Until another called Death comes to liberate.

Now for something completely different

Posted in Barlife, General Life, River with tags , , , , on April 11, 2008 by theeriver

I added to my web links. This webcomic really made me laugh at a period of my life I needed one. When I was laid off. So sit back watch the cartoons, and drink some coff-ay.

In other news I will be participating in a Bar Crawl, or Pub Crawl which to me is kind of stupid. I only like to visit bars where I know people, and if the people I know are with me already why the hell would we all go to a different bar.  Let’s just say I will be employing my ninja powers to disappear this evening.

Also my company is having a company-wide meeting in my experience only time companies have company wide meetings is if there is an annual in front of company wide meeting, or about to drop a bomb….There isn’t any annual in front of this meeting.

Welcome to Thunderdome!!!!

Posted in General Life, Philosophy, Politics, Pure Insanity with tags , , , , , on April 10, 2008 by theeriver

The world is ending…..America is in recession, rampant teenagers are killing by the masses, disease is running rampant, and the weather is melting the snow caps.


Nora a friend of mine posted this on her blog.


Which started a debate on societies degradation. My point is how can you degrade something that really wasn’t there. Society to me is a thin veneer that we use to work together to make sure we achieve our goals in life, and basically those goals for at least us Americans are life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.  If you punch me, or steal my car jack no matter what society says, or laws I’m going to try to defend myself, and my goal won’t be just to teach you a lesson.


In my argument I put the cheerleader act, on the same level as a barbarian act of raping and pillaging. Which in truth though not as severe as a rape or atrocity like that, both are acts of violence perpetrated. Violence in my mind is still violence. Just because one side is right, and one side is wrong doesn’t make violence ok, because right and wrong are subjective.  


Life is perspective I have been known to say. Lets fast forward a thousand years and lets say historians discover the youtube video of cheerleader beating up someone. We have a bunch of teenage girls in the same uniform, beating up a person not in the same uniform, because of the derogatory comments the person in the non-uniform said. You could easily switch out teenage girls with Nazi Youth, and you got a picture of what German kids did to jewish kids  in the early 1940’s. Lack of understanding or remorse, 6 million jews dead, where was the remorse or understanding when they were herded into box cars.


Violence for entertainment is not a new concept by far. I hear tell that the Romans loved their violence. I think Russell said it best, “ Are you not entertained?”  What makes the coliseum so more different then youtube?  We as humans are a species of voyeurs always have been.


I just want to pipe in about a few other things because I want to denounce these Chicken Littles right now. America is in recession, I am not standing on soup lines yet so quit your bitching, we had a fricking depression before, and my grandparents lived through it. I think we can too. Diseases running rampant, they had something called the black plague where people died so much they were thrown in the streets. I didn’t pass any corpses on the curb on my way to work. Oh and global warming bullshit, that pisses me off. Man in his infinite arrogance thinks we can destroy this planet, we had an Ice Age half the world covered in snow, and ice weren’t no factories around then, don’t you think maybe that pendulum could swing the other way?


The world isn’t becoming a worse place to live, it’s that we are more aware of it now. The world is shrinking, we hear about bad things almost the instant they happen. To me the same bad stuff is happening that has been happening for thousands of years, the only thing that has changed I get to watch it while I eat dinner.


Listen I won’t believe the sky is falling, until I’m standing on a car in a hockey mask like the guy from the movie Road Warrior, asking a bunch of people to walk away from their gas…..just walk away.

I think your a douchebag.

Posted in General Life, Philosophy, River with tags , , on April 9, 2008 by theeriver

Ok not really, but someone close to me commented that I was too critical of people that I don’t know very well, like strangers or people I just met. I was mulling this over this morning as I was on an elliptical machine. I think I am too critical of others, and that’s because of several reasons.


1.    I’m critical of myself, when I do something stupid or wrong I beat myself up way too much. I would rather work out problems on my own, rather then burden someone with my problem.

2.    I treat others with a modicum of respect, and courtesy, of course I joke around with friends. Sometimes they don’t get my dry or smartass type humor, and do get offended. For the most part I respect others, and demand that others should do the same.

3.    I have become judgmental, in the years of bouncing I really seen the bad side of people a lot, so this has made me somewhat jaded I believe.

4.    I am not empathetic enough. I really don’t care about your little issues, or problems. No matter what’s going on in your life doesn’t give you the right to be a jack off. Also no one loves a complainer, either do I. Go somewhere else.

5.    I am not in touch with my emotions. What are these things call emotions?

Has me being critical, and untrustworthy has kept a lot of people at arms distance away from me? Sure it has. I think it saved me a lot of times from people not worth my time, or effort though, and it also could of helped a lot of people, saved them a lot of heartbreak, time, and pain if they only listened to me.

One time a woman who worked with me, a dear friend. Told me she met a guy. He was wonderful, but as she explained him further to me the guy sounded peculiar in some of his dealings. My gut told me that he was hiding something, and told her he was married. Sure as shit, she was crying in my office one morning, and told me I was right. He was married.

Sure I can be nicer, and more forgiving of strangers and let them get to know me, but then I believe in the quality of my friends, not the quantity.


Diary of a Bouncer: My first run in with the deaf

Posted in Barlife with tags , , on April 8, 2008 by theeriver

Well I am going to start a new feature, called Diary of a Bouncer. This is where I tell you all the crazy goings on during my time working as a bouncer.

I worked as a bouncer/doorman/security, whatever you like to call them, for roughly 14 years of my life. I worked all over the Illinois area from Dance clubs, to little holes in the walls over those 14 years, and it seems I have acquired a few stories about the interesting characters that I have met.

There are a few moments in my Bouncer career that I am not too proud of. this is one of them.

Early in my bouncing, I used to work at a Dance Club called Xtremz back in the day, and once in awhile there would be handicapped people come through there. Tonight there was a group of deaf people that was partying there.  The problem with deaf people they look normal, so you really don’t quite know…until it’s too late.

I was called over by a customer this night, he told me that this blond haired guy was bothering his girlfriend, and if we the bouncers didn’t do anything, then he would.

So me and a bouncer friend went to the blond haired guy, and explained to him what was going on. He didn’t make any moves, or even sign to us anything. Then right in front of us he grabbed a girls ass. We grabbed him about to escort him out, when he started fighting us. That’s when I got pissed and lost my cool. I told my partner to open the back door. He opened it, I tossed blondie out the door, then *BOOM*, I told my partner to close the door. My partner said, “ I think they moved the dumpster in front of the back door.” Meanwhile another bouncer came up to me saying, “ I think that guy was deaf, and you tossed him head first right into a dumpster.”  “Whelp” I replied,” He might be able to hear now.”

Do I feel bad? Sure. Could I have handled it differently? Sure. Was I young and inexperienced? Yes. Does having a handicap give you license to act like an asshole, or give you priviledge to be a jerk? No it doesn’t

But thats not my first run in with the deaf…next installment of Diary, how I made a deaf girl cry.


Rough seas ahead, matey.

Posted in General Life, Politics with tags , , , , on April 7, 2008 by theeriver

No it’s not talk like a pirate day. I was thinking this morning about our economy. Even if you lived under a rock you are being affected by the current state of affairs. Gas is damn near $3.50 a gallon in my area, higher in others. People losing their jobs left and right, and people losing their houses as well.

Where is this going? I hear people talk about another depression. I don’t know about you but if I got to wait in a soup line there will be heads rolling in congress. We’ve been in a recession I believe, and I think things will get worse before they get better.

I am not an economist, nor some financial wizard, so I couldn’t tell you a bull market, from a bull’s butthole. I do know is I am, like most Americans are feeling the pinch. Sure I can harp on the ill’s of our consumer driven American society, and I was going to, but I am but a small cog in a grander wheel. I do my part where I can, and thats all any of us can do. So what would be the purpose of listing whats wrong with this country.

Let me tell you what’s great about this country, I don’t have a warlord holding an AK-47 to my head telling me I can’t eat today, I am not sitting in a sand hut with flies all over me, I am not in a gulag type prison in the middle of Siberia for stealing a loaf of bread. Yeah things are rough, and crap is going to get more rough. You know what we’ll work on getting through these issues together as Americans, and we’ll pull through, and be better for it.

So heads up people, lets tighten are finacial belts, get our work boots on, and lets fricking dig ourselves out, cause there isn’t going to be anyone to bail us out.

Incidentally, Sept 19th is talk like a pirate day…ARRRGGH, me hearteys.

Have you tried turning it off, and on again.

Posted in Television with tags , , on April 5, 2008 by theeriver

I want to share with you one cool show about what’s it like to be I.T., thats information technology for you that been walking with torches around your dungeon. It’s called The I.T. Crowd

It’s an english show, alas we can’t get the DVD’s here yet, the sad thing is we took it like the office, and americanized. Hopefully they didn’t fuck it up. Here’s a couple clips of the show for your viewing enjoyment.

Typical day in I.T.

Here the I.T. guys get a female visitor…

All girls want our bastards….