A public service announcement from River- Don’t eat Taco Bell BEFORE going out on the town.

From time to time I will be writing a public service announcement to enlighten you, and to help you traverse this road trip we call life.  Today the topic at hand is Don’t Eat Taco Bell BEFORE going out on the town. Now it could be any food that can be potentially stomach upsetting such as chili cheese dogs with extra onions, or that gyros (pronounced yee-ros, not ji-ros) from Mickey’s. You don’t want to eat this stuff before you have a fun, froliking evening on the town, because if your stomach is upset, your not going to be doing much froliking.

It was a crisp autumn evening I was hungry so I decided to stop at a local Taco Bell establishment. As I digested the food I knew this stuff isn’t going to sit right with me tonight. Little later the food was forgotten my friends asked me if I wanted to go downtown, to the Tequila Roadhouse. A delightful place which by and by is no longer around. Anywho so I went and on the drive down there, thats when I heard the gurgle. Deep in the recesses of my stomach, something was leading a revolt. It was time to call in the shock troops, bust out the Rolaids.

As the night wore on, and the vodka lemonade count got higher. A sudden urge overtook me at the Roadhouse. Thats right the urge to “Drop a Deuce”, go numero number two. The stomach was on full alert, everyone must leave the premises. So I went to the men’s washroom, there was no door on it. Which is I guess ok, I don’t mind putting on a show for the ladies as I take a whiz. Then I confronted what appeared to be my worst nightmare. The toilet to which to drop said deuce was not in a typical stall, but chicken wire. That’s right folks chicken wire that which is quite see-through, and staring out the men’s bathroom onto the adoring public, and the young hotties  dancing to the latest hip-grinding, butt shaking song.

*Sigh*  The gurgling in my stomach would not relent, so a man has to do what he has to do. I pulled down the trousers and sat on the pot. Sweet relief, as I was on the pot. I looked out at the people walking past, and when they looked in I just nodded, and waved. I wondered what people thought if anything, hey theres a guy dropping deuce in there. Then I thought Germans would pay good money for this.

Well I wiped my ass, pulled up my trousers, washed my hands and walked out of that washroom, always wondering if there will come a time, a girl comes up to me and goes, “Holy shit your that guy who was taking a dump at Tequila Roadhouse when I was out for a bachelorette party.”

So to everyone out there I suggest before you reach for that bean burrito think again and have something a little safer, say a peanut butter sandwich.

2 Responses to “A public service announcement from River- Don’t eat Taco Bell BEFORE going out on the town.”

  1. I love that frickin story riv. I am at work and I laughed so hard. I almost shit my pants just like the 90 y/o pt. I just x-rayed!!! can’t wait for the next installment. -CUZ

  2. Omg, that was hilarious, you pooped in a chicken wire stall!

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