Diary of a Metrosexual

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming. Diary of a Bouncer will not be seen this week. Please stay tuned for a more important message brought to you by me Mike D! So tempted to break out into a Beastie Boys verse right there, but I will save that for a future post. On with the Diary of a Metrosexual. Before I discovered the wonders that is Jergen’s Natural Glow sunless tanning lotion, I would attain my mocha almond color by basking in the warmth of the tanning booth lamps. While, the lotion is great, there is one thing I really miss about tanning inside the beds. There was something about feeling the heat on the skin that sort of just reenergized my batteries. Alas, moving on to the sunless tanners is probably for the best as now I no longer have to worry about laying in a machine where so many people have been putting their bare asses before me.

Anyway, for this edition of the Diary, I’ve decided to recount one of my first experiences with tanning. I had discovered a nice place that was within a few blocks of my apartments. It didn’t have a shortage of fine looking chicks working there, so that was an added bonus. Anyway, when I signed up for my first month of tans, the girl working there was helping me find that perfect tanning lotion. She went through several musking smelling ones, or stuff that she said most guys tended to get. I wasn’t digging the aromas at all.

It was around this point that I asked her if she had anything more fruity smelling and more specifically, something “pina coladay.” Out of nowhere, I heard laughter coming from behind me. I turned and saw a woman who had apparently been eavesdropping on our conversation. I returned the laughter and asked her what she thought was funny. Of course, I got the typical woman response, “nothing.” Something tells me, its the same type of response I’ve gotten for ordering actual pina coladas.

Well, for those of you interested, the lotion I ended up choosing was something called Get Down Brown.  While it isn’t a pina colada smell, it was still quite refreshing. I highly recommend it for those wishing to smell good while and after their done cooking.

5 Responses to “Diary of a Metrosexual”

  1. Tanning Lotions, Tampons, Pink backgrounds and butterflies? I’m getting a huge kick out of this site while River’s away! I love it! Just breathe slowly into a paper bag, Riv… it will be back to normal soon… hahaha

  2. I couldn’t bear to keep it all pink after my one day stint. Do you think I should pinkify it again, Sherry?

  3. Oh, good story, Mike. Very Anti-River!

  4. I think pink adds a little bit of spice to it. River would secretly enjoy it, so I think that for his benefit, pink it should be!! Haha… he should know better than to leave on a trip and think everything would stay the same.

  5. theeriver Says:

    I’m back women, and I am including Mike. There has been too many kitchens empty while I’ve been away.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: