Top 5 things I would do if I grew a Vagina.

Me and my friend Nora at Shoulda Woulda Coulda got into a little note of things I should do If and when I grow a vagina, without being sick or disgusting. Here’s rated PG list of things I would do.

1. Go to a bar and hit guys up for free drinks. Damn it I’m sick of doing the buying all the time.

2. Bitch about men, we really do suck, but I can’t bitch since I am one.

3. Watch a chick flick, like Somethings Gotta Give. I hear these movies are actually entertaining if you have a va-jay-jay.

4. Wear a pastal, think I could get away with it, without being mugged, or beat up.

5. Actually clean something beyond the usual surface cleaning.  Chicks really can clean things better then us usually.

Ok there’s my list. What’s your list if you became the opposite gender. Tell you the truth is probably for the first day I would just stare at it, and play around with it. Who am I kidding first week.

9 Responses to “Top 5 things I would do if I grew a Vagina.”

  1. If I was a chick, I would be on the stair masters at the gym so much, I would have the most perfect ass imaginable. If my boobs weren’t big enough, I would get implants. I would wear lots of pink, and other pastels lol. I think makeup would be a nice plus. When I get a zit, I’m stuck, but women can usually cover their blemishes away and that has to be a nice perk. Oh, and I would hit up Victoria’s secret.

  2. Ok I’ve never been as scared as I am right now.

  3. Mike – I don’t know you and even I am a little bit frightened. But you are right, it’s nice to be able to cover up a zit.

    I think the first thing I would do if I became a man would be to pee standing up. I’ve always been a little jealous that we don’t have the opportunity to just whip it out anywhere and pee on a tree or two… maybe even try to write my name in the snow, who knows? Then I’d probably take the first week to play with my new member. I mean, it must be fun to do since guys always seem to have their hands down their pants, or are on the quest to have someone else’s hands down there. I would also enjoy a month or two without my period… without the fear of being pregnant.

    So there you go, that’s what I would do. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side…

  4. Lol, what did I say that was so crazy? The things I mentioned are what some women do after all.

  5. Mike, I think the Victoria Secret comment is what frightened me the most. LOL

    River, you listed the PG version… what’s the rated R version? Now you have me curious. LOL

  6. Well according to this what if scenario, I would be a woman, so it shouldn’t seem strange at all. After all, what woman doesn’t want to look extra sexah? lol

  7. Mike, that’s not scary or strange at all. It was spoken like many of the women I know who have gotten boob jobs, do spend hours at the gym and do wear lots of pastels. But I’m not one of those chicks. If you saw me, you’d be terribly disappointed. I have little boobs and no interest whatsoever of getting a boob job. Ever. I don’t exercise enough to have a hard ass, just enough to not be as fat as I would be if I didn’t. I am wearing a pink tee shirt, but my jeans are beat out and not that cute. I think Victoria’s Secret is a rip off. The stuff doesn’t hold up, but it is really cute, so I don’t fault you for that.

    Your rationale is perfectly reasonable. There is a lot of pressure to look good, but I’m a very bad “girl”, because “extra sexah” is too much “effort”. I would probably think you were a fluffy, high-maintenance princess, but I don’t mind chicks like that at all. I’m sure we’d get along just fine, because you could feel superior for having better boobs and a tighter ass, and I could feel good about being next to a super hot chick who would get drinks sent to the table. You would be in great company if you grew a vag and acted like that.

  8. Finally, someone who can see that I’m not crazy. The only thing that I would change would be to describe myself not as a fluffy, high maintenance princess but rather just a Diva, lol.

  9. Even scarier…

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