Archive for October, 2008

Remembering those who passed

Posted in General Life, Philosophy, River with tags , , on October 30, 2008 by theeriver

I will be wrapping up this morose section of the blog, but I think it’s important to remember the people that touched our lives, for it makes up who we are.

There was a friend of mine that worked with me, named Sylvia Chavez. Her death affected me deeply.  I remember the first time I met her. I was a student worker for the IT dept at Governors State University at the time. I came in to her office, first words out of her mouth, “Better not fuck up my machine, or I swear I’ll stab you.” Yeah talk about making a guy nervous. I was actually scared of her. Over time we became good friends, we were there for each other through some bad times. She was there for me when it was my last day at GSU when they laid me off.

She was such a good person, and her death was truly tragic. She called me, “Hey get your ass up to JWH, I’m up here, your not.” Sylvia lived in Park Forest, so it was rare she came to my neck of the woods, if I didn’t come out she might actually rip my balls out. So I went up there, and Sylvia was just a bundle of energy, dancing, drinking having fun. So full of life. I had to get up early, so I left a little early. I asked Sylvia, “Sylvia, are you ok to drive?” She said yes. I asked again. She said yes.

The next day I get a call,  Sylvia got into an accident, she wasn’t going to live throughout the day. I rushed to the hospital. I was one of the last people to see her, I was also there for her in the end.  The story goes on the way coming home from JWH, they think she tried to avoid a deer. No one really knows for sure what happened though.

I blame myself for her death. I should of picked her up and carried her home. I should of done something more. I miss her alot though.

There’s some more people I miss dearly, I don’t want to say their deaths didn’t affect me, because they did. I just had less a part to play in their lives, or theirs nothing I could do literally.

My grandparents.

Branko “Jedo” Marsenic – My Grandfather, The toughest guy I know. He taught me alot, and I try not to forget my Serbian roots because of him. Where’s the Shlivo?

Vera Marsenic – My Grandmother, A stern woman, but tough as well.  We weren’t that close, but I loved her.

Al Cavelle – My Grandfather, He was the first funeral I went to. I didn’t really know him all that well. I wish I did though. He was a typical Italian, always wearing his red robe, smoking a cigar.

Peter “Sunsi” Marsenic – Sunsi or however you spell it was Serbian for “Sunshine”. Little Petey died when he was driving some friends, he lost control of the car. He was like a brother to me, and there was a hole in my family ever since he left.

James Rogers – My best friends father. He was a good man, and always made me laugh.

Well thanks for taking the time to remember those who were important to me.  Like I said this Halloween season take a few minutes and remember those who have passed, that have effected your life.

Remembering those that passed.

Posted in Barlife, River with tags , , , on October 29, 2008 by theeriver

As we lead up to Halloween, I am going to try to honor those who no longer with me, but remain in my heart.

When I first started bouncing there was a bartender named John Sitar. Yanni we used to call him. One night after a night of heavy drinking we decided we want to drink some more, where do we go. To the boat, of course. Yanni could hardly stand, either could I for that matter. Yanni insisted on driving, well I was fricking ready to pass out too, I said, “Surre Yanni”.  For a guy who couldn’t walk a straight line, he was thee best driver drunk. Hell I was impressed, he drove better then me when I’m sober.

Now here’s the messed up part. A few days later we were sober, I went to the store with Yanni. The guy is driving like a maniac, we almost get into an accident, I’m hanging on to the dashboard for dear life. I look at him, I scream, “That’s fucked up, I feel safer when your driving drunk, then when your sober. Let’s go do some shots so you don’t get me killed!”

Many drunk adventures we had, many times we would just be sitting at the bar just the two of us, laughing our asses of at just stupid stuff. Actually Yanni was there when the name River was given to me, and he’s the major reason I don’t tell anyone. It is a story for him to tell, and if he isn’t here to tell it. Then I won’t tell it as well.

Yanni was a good guy, didn’t say much. But he was always there for a friend. He decided to take his own life because he thought if this girl left him, his life would be over.  I think of him often, and I hope if he’s the bastard driving me to heaven, I pray he’s drunk as a skunk, or else I probably won’t make it.

Tales from the Big House.

Posted in Pure Insanity, River with tags , , on October 23, 2008 by theeriver

One time while I was waiting for he judge, I was piled in a room with a bunch of other prisoners. One by one they left as they saw the judge, and then I was left alone with one other guy. A white kid who was sitting there banging the bench, singing some rap song, and going through some cultural identity crisis. He must of been bored cause he starts talking to me. I’ll call him Bob. Bob asks, “So dog,   What’chu in for? ” I told him the technical name for it, criminals like big words. Bob replies, “Damn dog.”  I just had to ask him, “What are you in for?” Bob nonchalantly says, ” I burned up 3 people while they were sleeping.”  Now mind you I’m in here, and I’m used to the usually drug dealers, pimps, assorted badasses. This mofo was insane. I replied, “Really?”  Bob starts telling me the details, “Yea middle of the night, I doused this house with gasoline, and lit the place on fire.”  All I could say was, “Interesting.”  Bob goes back to banging the bench, singing his rap song. He then turns to me with all seriousness, “Do you like Scarface?”  At the time I didn’t know who the hell was Scarface, and for all I know it could of been an opera star. I turn to Bob, and said in a most serious fashion, “I LOVE SCARFACE.”

Luckily guard called my name right after that, I was never so pleased to see a judge in my life.


Posted in Philosophy, River with tags on October 22, 2008 by theeriver

I was talking to a friend last night, and she got me thinking about one of my other friends. I say I live my life without regrets, I generally do. I live my life, I fuck up, I pick myself up, and try again. I make mistakes in life, but I try to learn from them, and grow. There’s one mistake in my life though I can not just resolve as a learning lesson.

I had a friend Tony, he was like a brother to me. Many a night we would just sit and play cards until the wee hours of the morning, or smoke stogies on the balcony. He was alot like me, wanted to just have a good time. Ahh the good times we had together, if it wasn’t for him I would of never been to Myrtle Beach. He had my back, I remember there was a group of 30 guys surrounding me, and a couple of my other friends. He waded in with total disregard for himself standing up for his friend me. He had a good job, his own condo at an early age, a brand new truck, a nice girlfriend, a loving family. He had it all, but he didn’t think so. He had a gambling problem, and he was going to lose it all. Instead of facing the music, he killed himself.

I didn’t step in, and see the problem for what it was. I wasn’t able to stop him from what he did.  A little bit of me died that day as well. Those were dark times, that has left a stain on my soul. I will always feel like I let him down.

I worry sometimes am I repeating my mistake. She got me thinking am I letting another friend down?

Diary of a Bouncer – The day I lost my cool.

Posted in Barlife, General Life, River with tags , on October 16, 2008 by theeriver

Now usually I’m a pretty cool customer. I tend not to lose my anger too much. I have a thick skin, hell I’ve been called every name in the book. I do give points for originality, and sometimes drunks come up with some funny ones that I have to laugh to myself about.

It was a referred to in the industry as Black Wednesday, the second biggest bar holiday to New Years Eve. It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and since everyone has off, they usually go out. Well on this day I fricking fall in the shower, like an old ass man. I fall loudly, and as I lay on the bottom of the tub. My brother knocks on the door pleading, “Are you ok?” I in utter pain muffled as I lay on the tub, “Yea, I’m fine”  It seems like my arm is hurt bad, to me more specific my rotators cuff is damaged. I cannot lift my arm pretty much at all, and without much pain.  It’s the biggest day of the year, I was head bouncer at the Blue Iguana at the time, I had responsibilities. I swigged some Jack Daniels, and some Pain Killers, and off to work I went.

The night was crowded as usual, and I was praying things went smoothly. It seems my luck was all bad. Towards the later half of the night. I was working the floor, some guy was sitting on the pool table. Now we have a long standing rule, don’t sit on the pool table. We even had a sign up.

I kindly go over to this gentleman and say, “Excuse me sir, can you please not sit on the pool table.” His reply, “Go fuck yourself, fat ass”  I don’t know if it was the painkillers, the whiskey, or the pain coursing through my arm. I flipped out. With my good arm I put him in a headlock, and started to drag him out.  He broke out of the headlock, grabbed a cue stick, broke it and came after me. I remember laughing. He whacks me on my bad shoulder…wrong thing to do. I then grab him by the throat, pushed him against the wall, and started to beat his ass with one hand, while my other arm just hung there loosely. Punching him in the head so many times, he was bleeding everywhere.

The cops came, and hauled him away and good thing too, I might off killed him if it continued. Funny think is the bar pressed charges on destruction of property. So he got his ass kicked, and spent some time in jail.

As an epilogue I couldn’t lift my arm past midway point for like a month afterwards, to this day I don’t think it’s quite healed. It still creaks, and hurts once in awhile. Also I could never get that guys blood out of my shirt, so it was retired and put into my trophy section.  Not that I was proud of losing my cool, but I was proud even with one arm I can still throw down.

Where does happiness come from?

Posted in Philosophy, River with tags , , on October 15, 2008 by theeriver

I was talking to a friend late last night, and she was discussing how she was angry at life, that she wanted more out of life, that she thought she was getting a raw deal.

I had to nearly bite my tongue so I wouldn’t scream at her in anger.  I wish I had the power like a spirit of Christmas to show people just how bad life can be.  How even though your life is not what it should be, it’s a whole lot better then say someone in a African country where they can only eat once every few days. I heard this saying before and it’s so true, “I complained about not having shoes, until I saw a man with no feet.”

Maybe life is perspective, and she has lived in an ivory tower, thinking the world owes her something. Sad thing it doesn’t. The world doesn’t owe you anything.

I’m human, and when things go wrong for me. I get a little depressed. Then I remember where I have been, and that I am lucky to even be alive. That even though with all my problems things can be worse, alot worse. Also I remember the power to make things better is within my reach. The thing is that I have to work.

Everything worth getting you have to work for in life, there is no easy path. More importantly happiness doesn’t come from anything. Money can’t bring happiness, some of the most unhappy people on this planet are rich. Another person can’t bring you happiness, the human heart is very fickle, and can betray you in a second.

The only person that can bring you happiness, is really you. It has to come from deep inside of you.  Unfortunately I had to spend time in some bad places to come to realize this, and once in a while I even have to remind myself of it.

I’m going to leave you with a quote from a movie that I enjoy the Last Samurai.  The samurai says, “To live a life searching for the perfect cherry blossom would not be a waste.” At the end of his life he says, and comes to realize, “They are all perfect.”

Ok I’m stepping of this weeks soapbox…..

Remember we got a contest going on.

Tuesday Transsexual Tale

Posted in Barlife, General Life, River with tags , , , , on October 14, 2008 by theeriver

Well it looks like by my little Internet tools,  not only Deaf Girl Sex is popular, but Transsexuals are too. Me being the people pleaser that I am. Like to cater to the masses. So here’s another tale for you.

A while back I was invited to a wedding, and I brought a friend along. Her name, that’s right, Jenny.  So people from this wedding rented a bus, so after the reception they would go downtown, hit the clubs, and then spend the night at a nice hotel. I didn’t know about this bus thing until the middle of the reception. Of course Jenny was up to go downtown. Me and Jenny didn’t even know how we would get home, we really didn’t care at that point.  So we hopped on the bus.

After much drinking and debauchery, the wedding party retired to their hotel. Jenny and I we left to our own devices. Well we needed to eat. So we went out to breakfast at a local breakfast joint, and as I was devouring my food. Jenny starts laughing her ass off, I mean not giggle politely. Out and out bursts of laughter. I go, “Whats so funny?” She goes, “Look!”, and points. As I stare what she’s looking at it’s a table full of obvious transsexuals, drag queens, or shemale’s whatever they call themselves these days next to us. Then I noticed their looking at me. So these 4-5 trannies are getting mad at the fact the girl I’m with finds them hilarious. So I tell Jenny, “To calm down, before something happens.” She just can’t stop laughing. All of a sudden an especially manly guy in a wig says to me, “Do you people have a problem?”

Now I have 3 options here,

A> Be a complete asshole, and possibly start a fight, though I may be able to beat some ass when dealing with more then 4 of them, even girly men might be difficult. If I lost in my eyes I might as well then go shopping for wigs.

B> Be very apologetic, and diffuse the situation in a political correct way avoiding a confrontation.

C> Be a smart ass, and if they can’t take a joke fuck ’em.

Of course I chose C.

I told the gorilla in a dress, “She’s just laughing cause I said you guys have bigger titties then she does.”  I guess they found this humorous as well, cause they laughed too.

Now if I did get in a fight, I would be in a serious morale dilemma, I don’t fight girls, but these guys aren’t girls, so it would cause my circuit boards to fry I’m sure.

So as the night wore on, the hotel cost way to much money to get a room. So we slept at the Train Station like a couple of bums, waiting for the first train home.  All in all a wild time, that probably will be the wildest wedding story to date.