Diary of a Bouncer – The day I lost my cool.

Now usually I’m a pretty cool customer. I tend not to lose my anger too much. I have a thick skin, hell I’ve been called every name in the book. I do give points for originality, and sometimes drunks come up with some funny ones that I have to laugh to myself about.

It was a referred to in the industry as Black Wednesday, the second biggest bar holiday to New Years Eve. It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and since everyone has off, they usually go out. Well on this day I fricking fall in the shower, like an old ass man. I fall loudly, and as I lay on the bottom of the tub. My brother knocks on the door pleading, “Are you ok?” I in utter pain muffled as I lay on the tub, “Yea, I’m fine”  It seems like my arm is hurt bad, to me more specific my rotators cuff is damaged. I cannot lift my arm pretty much at all, and without much pain.  It’s the biggest day of the year, I was head bouncer at the Blue Iguana at the time, I had responsibilities. I swigged some Jack Daniels, and some Pain Killers, and off to work I went.

The night was crowded as usual, and I was praying things went smoothly. It seems my luck was all bad. Towards the later half of the night. I was working the floor, some guy was sitting on the pool table. Now we have a long standing rule, don’t sit on the pool table. We even had a sign up.

I kindly go over to this gentleman and say, “Excuse me sir, can you please not sit on the pool table.” His reply, “Go fuck yourself, fat ass”  I don’t know if it was the painkillers, the whiskey, or the pain coursing through my arm. I flipped out. With my good arm I put him in a headlock, and started to drag him out.  He broke out of the headlock, grabbed a cue stick, broke it and came after me. I remember laughing. He whacks me on my bad shoulder…wrong thing to do. I then grab him by the throat, pushed him against the wall, and started to beat his ass with one hand, while my other arm just hung there loosely. Punching him in the head so many times, he was bleeding everywhere.

The cops came, and hauled him away and good thing too, I might off killed him if it continued. Funny think is the bar pressed charges on destruction of property. So he got his ass kicked, and spent some time in jail.

As an epilogue I couldn’t lift my arm past midway point for like a month afterwards, to this day I don’t think it’s quite healed. It still creaks, and hurts once in awhile. Also I could never get that guys blood out of my shirt, so it was retired and put into my trophy section.  Not that I was proud of losing my cool, but I was proud even with one arm I can still throw down.

16 Responses to “Diary of a Bouncer – The day I lost my cool.”

  1. Observation: For a cool customer, you seem to get in a lot of confrontational situations. From the various Jennys to Kid Rocks to drag queens, someone is always wanting to kick your ass. Why is that?

  2. theeriver Says:

    Keeping your cool, and being non confrontational in my eye are different things. Look at your old westerns, they get in a gunfight duel, it’s not about emotion usually, or old samurai movies. Thats where I modeled my life from really.

    As for why everyone wants to kick my ass. I don’t know what to tell you. My award winning personality. You douchebag!

  3. Which shoulder is it? I want to know so I can smack you on it next time I see you. Why are you such a bully? Your ass should have went to jail for battery. (I guess boys will be boys…)

  4. white chocolate Says:

    so do u need an x-ray of the shoulder or just ur sak. lol

  5. It’s my left shoulder, and it doesn’t actually hurt when you hit it. It’s a tear in the cuff, only hurts once in awhile if I move it at odd angles.

    As for being a bully, I never start fights…I just finish them 😉

    As a bouncer I have immenient domain to remove subjects that are causing a disturbance, that are in risk of endangering other customers, and refuse to remove themselves. I have certain rights afforded to me by the law, while given permission by the land owner. Also he tried to assault me with a cuestick which was broken which can constitute as a deadly weapon, which at that point it is within my right to use any force needed to incapicitate him.

    I was going to be a lawyer, I did very well on the LSAT, but I didn’t have the money to go to law school.

  6. I give up.

  7. Keeping your cool and avoiding confrontations may be different things but they are directly related to one another. If you find yourself in confrontations all the time, then I’m sorry to break this to you, but you probably aren’t keeping your cool too often. You don’t necessarily have to blow up on someone to lose it. It can take a simple remark, gesture or anything else that could in interpreted in an aggressive nature. Also, there is a huge difference between using force to subdue someone or protect yourself and assault. That my friend is the law. The fact you are a bouncer in a bar is actually a benefit to you in that regards. Since most of the people you are dealing with are drunk and not in the best state to push the issue. If you were say a cop, for instance, you would’ve probably have found yourself on the wrong side of an excessive force lawsuit by now.

  8. So your saying you can’t be aggressive, and cool now. Ever hear the term cold blooded killer?

  9. Mike Davis Says:

    You can’t be aggressive and cool in the sense you are talking about. Being aggressive automatically prohibits it by it’s very definition. Cold blooded killer refers to someone who kills without conscience. The fact that they murder, however, makes them aggressive, obviously regardless of their feelings about it. Their actions are being judged not their thoughts on their actions.

  10. theeriver Says:

    @ White Chocolate, damn what a cool name. The shoulder can wait, we need to see what is going on in the sackage. LOL!

    @ At Mike, Ahh maybe we differ on our meaning of cool. Cool to me is calmness of mind. To be in control of your stronger emotions. To not lose control of your actions.

    To site an example my brother gets angry with me for not cleaning the dishes, he hurls a dirty glass at me. With coolness I dodge the glass, look at it and say, ” I ain’t cleaning it up” Now I could of lost my cool, and smashed his face in. I was still in confrontation, but I did not lose control. That to me is being cool. That and being able to hit a jukebox and make it play your favorite tune.

  11. Mike Davis Says:

    I think you proved my point. You didn’t do the dishes which is, in turn, pissed someone else off. Your comment afterward could then be considered a smart ass remark and thus further provoking an incident. As I said before, you don’t always have to respond with a single word or action, sometimes silence or gestures can be viewed as aggressive. In those cases, its called being passive aggressive.

  12. Hmmm… it feels like it’s getting pretty heated in here.

    River, do you really want to know whats going on with your sack or are you just fantasizing about a hot xray tech?

  13. Kinda of an inside joke about xraying my sack, as for the tech, he’ll have to tell you if he’s hot or not. Cause it would be too wierd on so..so many levels if I said he was. LOL!



  15. No sir your cooler then the other side of the pillow.


    why thank you sir have a nice weekend

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