As I get older…

I have never envisioned myself to reach 36. I really don’t know how I am still alive with all the drinking, fighting, and other sundry of bad behavior. Tell you the truth, I really mellowed with age, scary thought huh. I was thinking back to what a Monday Hangover would look like if I wrote it at 21. So I thought I would entertain you with an average Monday Hangover as if I wrote it 15 years ago, now mind you this is a normal weekend.  My weekend typically started on Thursdays.


Thursday was 25 cent bottles at Cagneys, so I would hit there with Gus, my best friend at the time. Where we would progress to drive home very, very drunk. Gus would typically try to get in a fight, and I would have to work clean up.

Friday night, I had to bounce at W.C. Flicks in Shorewood. That night me and the other doormen were doing a couple of shots, also making sure we got a cut of the door money which would go for our breakfasts. It was standard practice to take a few bucks, so who was I to buck the system. That night there was a fight, I remember this fight because I didn’t like the douchebag that started the fight from the get go. So I grabbed him in a headlock, and progressed to drag him out. Ohh I just hit his head against the wall. Green bay (a guy thus named because of his love for said football team), and the other bouncers grabbed the other guy dragged him out the other door.  After a few more shots, and I was feeling pretty good we went to Georgios a greek restaurant open 24 hours in Joliet. After eating I nice meal on Flicks. Some assholes start up with us, so we take them outside, and progress to beat the shit out of them.  I finally head home, where it is almost 7am.

Saturday I go to my local hangout the Tinley Park Bowling Alley, started the night off with some pinball, or video games while I drink a few pitchers of beer with Gus. The rest of the guys start a poker game in the back. I don’t do so hot, but Gus is really sour that night.  He’s feeling violent, and there’s a nice corvette in the parking lot. Being the harbingers of doom that we are, we want to rain some misfortune upon others. So he takes my gun out of the glove box, (which luckily I emptied the clip before I gave it to him) He trys to fire off a few rounds at the nice car. I laugh at him, he’s upset I emptied the gun. I then take my knife, get out of the car and slash all four tires, he cracks the windshield with a rock. We leave laughing, and still drunk. We decide to go to Show-Shows. Show-Shows use to be in the heart of Cicero in the bad area. It was a strip joint/whore house. We get a 4 dollar wildwood soda, and watched the show. We didn’t partake of the services that night. On the way home Gus talks me into running into a construction horse with my car, that was pretty cool. Luckily nothing was damaged on my car. We finally make it home.

Sunday I get up, and call Gus, he’s dead to the world. So I decide to hit the boat. I play blackjack/video poker for 10 hours losing a shitload of money, depressed I go  grab a bite to eat, and head home.


That was a normal run of the mill weekend. Back then you could find me at a few places Cagneys in Oak Lawn, Tinley Park Bowling Alley, WC flicks in Shorewood, or the Riverboats of Joliet.

Though I mellowed I guess I haven’t changed all that much, instead of Cagneys it’s Durbins, instead of Tinley Park Bowling Alley, it’s JWH.

I am still a creature of habits, and the problem with habits is they die hard. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever grow up, more worrisome is I think I’m scared to.

6 Responses to “As I get older…”

  1. Yeah, you’ve definatley mellowed (thank God). Riv, you lived your life like an episode of Cops (probably more than I even know). You hung out at the bowling alley, ‘eh? Something tells me that we know more of the same people than I thought.

  2. “Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, pal! Jesus, there you go trying to pass the buck. I’m the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You wanna blame somebody? Blame yourself.”

    If you want to grow up then do so. Shit or get off the pot. Do or do not, there is no try. Decide what you want out of life and starting working towards it because time is running out!

  3. I love Clerks 2.

    I’m not blaming anyone. That’s the problem I don’t know what I want of life, cause I never thought I would reach this phase.

  4. Then you really need to figure that out. You do not want to be one of them sad old fuckers, drinking themselves to death and wondering what the hell happened.

  5. Your right my dream of having a robot army is slipping through my fingers as we speak.

  6. Damn Mike, tell us how you really feel…. LOL

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: