What attracts guys to women.

A women friend asked me what attracts guys to women. Even though this a crude generalization I think alot of men would agree as to my criteria. There may be other ones, and you guys out there feel free to add, or even correct me.  My expertise above the fact I am a man, is I’ve been looking and judging women for 15 years of my life, as they enter the door of any bar they walked through, I evaluated them, and as I sit there in the front of the bar watching that patrons, I see how they act.
Most men are visual in nature so thats where it all starts.
1. Your outfit…does it look good, is it seductive/sexy without being a whore. Do you have your own sense of style. Does the outfit fit you well. We don’t care about things about brand names, men can give two shits about that. It’s all about how well it looks on you.
2. Hair is very important, the style, the looks, clean, well groomed. If you have short hair you gotta really pull it off. Most men prefer longer hair though cause well if we wanted someone with short hair we would date someone named Bob.
3.  Common disbelieve amongst women is that you have to look like a supermodel to impress a man. That’s wrong. It’s playing up your best assets. If you have big tits, choose a bra that puts those puppies out there, got a nice ass make sure you choose an outfit that accentuates your ass. Also men notice wierd things on women sometimes like feet, and hands. We have some odd fascination with a well manicured hand, and with nice long nails. Not the one you see on the black women that look like werewolf claws. Personally though most guys don’t give a shit about it, I tend to have a thing about eyes. If a woman has beautiful eyesI just want to look into them all day. Then again, I’m a hopeless romantic….or a weirdfreak either one take your choice.
Though men are shallow, and intiially are attracted by looks, there are other things more intrinsic that will win a guy over any day of the week.
Attitude …
1. Confidence – Is important with men or women. If you have confidence it shows in all you do. Do you have goals, do you have a life, are you an interesting person, do have something interesting to say. Confidence is good, but girls run the danger of being too cocky, or thinking their shit don’t stink. Love yourself, and others will love you.
2. How do you treat people – Are you a bitch, or genuine nice person. Are you flirting with every guy in the bar, or just me. The slut may be able to get a guy to go home with her for the night, the classy girl who knows how to have fun will win the whole chalupa.
3. Funny, Challenging, Engaging – In other words do you sit there like a lump of coal, or do you posess a life. Do you engage me, make me think. Do you challenge me, and make me work for your affection. Are you funny can you tell a joke, but not only that can you take one. You don’t need to be one of the guys, or make a complete jackass of yourself (like me or Jackass) but you don’t have to be an Amish prude either.
Bottomline, it’s all about moderation. You can’t be over the top, but you don’t want to be a lump of coal either.
Some other tips –
1. Most guys aren’t really good at subtle hints. Don’t beat around the bush. Tell us what you want.
2. Guys need ‘me’ time – Even if a man loved you very much, we need some time alone, or with friends just to be us.
3. In a simplistic way, Men crave respect, women crave love – This is what relationships with men and womenboil down to. It’s a circle. Men crave respect more then love, not that we don’t like to be loved, it’s just we like respect more. Women crave love more then respect, not that women don’t want to be respected, but they crave love more. So Men that get respect from their women, will love those women more. The women that receive love from their man, will give more respect to them. That circle gets broken, then ya got problems.
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21 Responses to “What attracts guys to women.”

  1. GREAT post! I think you have mark down all the points needed.

  2. Gee… where did you ever come up with the idea for this post? 🙂 What a great read!

  3. white chocolate Says:

    well said riv. eyes are my fav. too!! well then again a big rACK HELPS. LOL

  4. Yeah, you are pretty much spot on River. Physical qualities are obvious. That said, I don’t expect perfection just effort. Someone who doesn’t take care of themselves physically will never work for me. Not to sound harsh, but that whole love someone for who they are on the inside is a bunch of crap. If someone doesn’t love themselves enough to try and eat right and stay in shape, then they shouldn’t expect someone else to love them for it.

    Confidence is a big one. However, you shouldn’t be aware of it. When that happens, the person usually dips into conceit. One thing you failed to mention that is big with me is intellect. You can be drop dead gorgeous, but if you can’t hold up an intelligent conversation then you are not attractive to me.

  5. No I like my girls dumb as a box of rocks. LOL! just kidding…

  6. Sorry, but it’s silly to generalize something that is DIFFERENT for everyone. It’s as silly as thinking we can deem someone “the most attractive man/woman in the world”…like People mag does. What’s attractive to one, may be hideous to another. Such lists don’t help men and women to have “insight” into the opposite sex’s desires…it’s just the authors’ desires. And sure, other men may agree, but the reality is : when you find a good match, your “wish lists” go out the door anyway.

  7. Prof I would like to talk to you about a thing I like to call Reality. Go out with ratty, dirty hair see if you get a someone besides a crack addict to try to pick you up.

    Is it so different for everyone? I don’t think so. I think their are ideals in our society. This is what good is suppose to be, this is evil, this is beautiful, so on and so forth.

    Sure we might have DIFFERENCES, but I think there’s a common demoniator that some men and women have when picking a mate.

    Reality is just what is agreed upon by most of us. Those attractive people lists are usually generated by polls. If 99 people out of 100 say your hot, I think it’s safe to say your hot.

    If everyone says it’s a chair, I pretty much guarentee it’s a chair, even though your crazy ass will say it’s a giraffe.

  8. Wow… LOL

    Prof, you got the River on a rampage there. It’s always fun to read this blog page.

    That was great… HAHA

  9. Can we get this published on a larger scale, please?

  10. He didnt get into specifics here, Prof. Yes, many standards go out the window at a point, but this hits on ATTRACTON and not relationships. Unless you are a love-at-first-sight person (stalker?), these hold true in regards to initial attraction.

    Great post.

  11. I’d say that’s a good run-down. Nothing too out there, just realistic expectations. Sure, taste is subjective. But as far as guidelines are concerned, I’d say those are fair.

  12. Haha, it is fun getting you fired up, but I know you feel the same with me;) Again, I’ll have to disagree on various points: 1) going out with ratty/obviously dripping dirty hair is presumed to be TOO OBVIOUS to have to mention. However, I still believe some would overlook such a characteristic. When I see couples who one or more of the mates have missing teeth, my perspective that beauty is in the eye of the beholder is reaffirmed. See what I am saying? 2)As for assuming all guys want a girl with confidence, try again. Many prey on/desire those with little to none; I just saw a personal ad for “submissive woman wanted” and it wasn’t a sex ad. A woman with confidence often throws a man off; if he follows traditional gender codes, he’s expecting to be “in charge.” 3)And, finally, again, I think guys would perhaps like a funny or challenging woman, but the reality is that if those qualities aren’t there, it doesn’t stop them. As I tried to articulate before, when you find a good match, you “live with” perhaps even start to like the flaws of your partner. Hence why your list isn’t useful;)

  13. Crap, I forgot to mention your one quality that is soooo ridiculous. Women crave love, but men crave respect! How can their be healthy love without both? Of course both sexes crave both. That way of thinking is as stupid as: men have sex for the physical satisfaction; women for love…PLEASE! It feels good to us too. Need to get out of the gender stereotypes that have been prescribed to us. You think these things because you’ve been told “this is what it means to be a woman….this is what it means to be a guy”.

  14. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I agree. I have a friend that finds George Clooney quite unattractive yet she finds some scruffy, biker looking country singer absolutely gorgeous. Everyone has their own taste. As River said, everyone is different but remember that he is playing the percentages here. When a majority of people find a particular quality attractive, then I don’t see a problem with him bringing it up. Why? Because some people might not realize that a trait of theirs may be holding them back. Some women are too clingy and that particular quality turns off a lot of guys. Its not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you find a guy who wants that but the odds aren’t as good.

    That said, I agree completely with your second statement.

  15. I agree with you Mike; if the list can help people in that regard, great. I simply had a prob with the notion that “all guys[or girls] like____”.

  16. Here’s a notion I just had….All heterosexual men love vagina.

    Then again Prof might disagree.

  17. Ok River… enough with the whole charade. Even if a woman was missing most of her teeth, had ratty dirty hair and never showered, you’d still be attracted to her if she promised you daily blowjobs. Am I right?

  18. Tell you the truth, some men maybe more then you think. But what kind of class are those men?

    I’d rather whack it, then invest my time in a girl that isn’t worthy of me. That’s probably why I’ll be a monk on some lonely Italian mountain, I refuse to settle, when I know I deserve more.

  19. That is disgusting Sherry lol. Why would anyone want a blow job from a bum?

  20. Haha Mike. I have seen some of the women that my guy friends have brought around and I’ve been wondering wondering the same thing. Maybe I need to take a closer look at the people I’m hanging out with. LOL

    And River… Happy Wacking. 🙂

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