Archive for April 15, 2009

Strange Tales

Posted in General Life with tags on April 15, 2009 by theeriver

Sometimes things happen in my life that defy categorization. This is one of these times.

When I was younger like around 5th or 6th grade, I was the fat kid (still am), I lacked self confidence, they thought I was mentally challenged, etc..etc. So my parents thought that martial arts would install some disipline, instill self confidence, and get me into shape.

There was a Dojo or Martial Arts School in Oak Forest called Chung Moo Quan. Now they taught a type of Tae Kwon Do, that Master John C Kim perfected himself. So it being super cheap, of course it’s the one I’ll be going to, my dad knows how to shop for a bargain. Upon first going to this place, I noticed that all the Instructors were named Tom, which I thought was odd, a little later another instructor joined us, his name was Tom as well.  Coincidence? I didn’t think so. I thought they were all freaks.

Until one day, An Instructor Tom called my house, my brother answered.  My brother hands me the phone, and says, “It’s for you it’s Instructor Tom.”  I answer it, “Hello?”  Instructor Tom says, “You must come in today, and see the pictures of the Master.”  I was like, ” Oookkkk, I don’t know my parents are working”  Instructor Tom urged, “Well you must come in.”  I was like, “Alright, thanks bye.”

Now I was like wow what fucking nuts, I told my brother we were laughing our asses off. I thought there had to be another reason they wanted me up there. So I got a ride up to the dojo. Sure as all hell, the reason they wanted me up there were to see the pictures of the Master. Tom would handle each picture with a tissue, like it was an religious artifact. I was literally so wierded out by this, I just was like when is this going to end. After Tom was done showing me the pictures, He goes, “Don’t you feel inspired, now?” Yeah Inspired to get the fuck out.

I got home, told my parents. They didn’t want to believe me, they didn’t listen to me. I told them they were wierd mofos.  They kept me enrolled for a month. Then my dad found out from his cop buddies, that the Martial Arts School Chung Moo Quan had ties to the Moonies, and that it was a front for Cult stuff. Now my dad pulled me out of there, good thing I didn’t end up in an airport banging a tamborine.