Archive for April, 2009

Monday Hangover

Posted in Barlife, River on April 20, 2009 by theeriver

Well it was an interesting weekend to say the least…well what I remember of it anyway…

It all started on Friday. After the week I had, I was ready just to get hammered, and have some fun. Well a friend of mine, Jenny had a birthday reverse bar crawl. What the hell is that you may ask. Well normally on a bar crawl, you go to a bunch of bars, then you end up at a late night bar thats open later then the rest, then finally you go get some food. This bar crawl was reversed, she started out getting something to eat, then hit Dendrenos (a 4am bar), then to a couple of other bars, ending up at J.W. Hollstiens, or JWH as the in people call it.  Jackass and I don’t like eating before going out, it weighs ya down. So we hit Durbins first, within 10 minutes of being there people bought us like 5 shots.  We wolfed those down. Then we met the barcrawl at Dendrenos, had a few there. The Barcrawl left for another bar, while me and Jackass went straight to JWH, for an All you can drink special.  We drank all we could. Don’t really remember alot, but here are some reports I got back.

1. Gay Moment : The band Hey Jimmy, which by the way was good, played A-HA “Take on Me”, I jumped up and down very effeminately, clapping.

2. Usual licking of the Boobs.- Yes some boobs were licked.

3. I guess I gave a girl my number – she looked like a Gorgon from all accounts.

4. It seems like when Jackass, and me went to Olympic Star later that night, or technically morning. I got into it with a girl. She asked if I was gay, I said, “So what if I am? Are you Homophobic, Are you a Nazi?”  She offered me her pancakes, I screamed, ” I don’t want your Hatemongering Pancakes!”

Thats all I got for you now, I woke up at my friends house with a Pan next to me, he thought I was going to puke. I didn’t, I’m proud of myself.

Saturday was a little milder. I just drank a few. I went out to support one of my Favorite bands. Rendition. Good guys. They even played one of my favorite songs. Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Going to Take It”. By the way that got something coming up called Rendoke, where it’s karoake played along with them. Sounds fun. I will really need to check that out.

So after having some fun at JWH with Rendition. I started to cruise over to Teehans for my usual Irish Car bomb. There was my cuz, and the Wolf (our friend). Well we squashed our beef, after hashing things out. Though angry guy was out, and I knew no good would come of it. Later that night a couple guys came up to Olympic Star looking for my Cousin. I guess some words were said.  I told those guys, “First this is Olympic Star, no trouble gets started here. If there is, I’ll drag your carcass to Jewel, and fucking crush your head like a cantaloupe. Second, He isn’t here, Thirdly, I don’t care what your beef is with my cousin. No way am I allowing you to lay a hand on him.” Well they tried to cop an attitude., saying they got no problem with me, and such.  They finally took off, I was so laughing to myself.  My cousin would mop the floor with those mangina’s I almost wish my Cuz was up there.  Then I thought, what baby shit, it felt like I was in High School again.

So after a night of drinking,  Sunday I got a call at 830am…power went out at work, I had to go to ensure systems were ok. Fuck ComEd, Fuck em for free.

Just Call me Neo….Whoa

Posted in Computers on April 17, 2009 by theeriver

neo-dodging-bulletsSo I messed up at work, kinda sorta. I am in charge of backups, and ever since the power outage last week on my job there was a problem with them. I really wasn’t paying to close attention, because I had 8 million other things going on.  So I checked 2 days ago…whoa. They weren’t being done. So as I was working to resolve the issue, another server conked out, and there was no backup.

The server really didn’t conk out, but effectively everyone was locked out of it, so no one, and I mean no one could get into the server, and more importantly to the data. This is not my fault, because if I had the local administrator account, it would of been simple. Unfortunately the server is so old, that no one around here has the local account info…that is my bosses fault.  

I had an older backup from the 4/4/09, which would of lost about a weeks worth of data….not good. Not good at all.

So after working on it for a day and a half, and nearly giving up and accepting my fate. A thought occured to me like a thunderbolt. I was able to hack into our own server.  Get the data we needed.

Even though I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again, it’s my first major fuckup on the job in quite some time. Though I got the data, and this will blow over with everyone else quite well. I still beat myself up pretty hard.

This weekend though, I’m so relieved that I dodged a bullet. I’m so getting drunk.

Strange Tales

Posted in General Life with tags on April 15, 2009 by theeriver

Sometimes things happen in my life that defy categorization. This is one of these times.

When I was younger like around 5th or 6th grade, I was the fat kid (still am), I lacked self confidence, they thought I was mentally challenged, etc..etc. So my parents thought that martial arts would install some disipline, instill self confidence, and get me into shape.

There was a Dojo or Martial Arts School in Oak Forest called Chung Moo Quan. Now they taught a type of Tae Kwon Do, that Master John C Kim perfected himself. So it being super cheap, of course it’s the one I’ll be going to, my dad knows how to shop for a bargain. Upon first going to this place, I noticed that all the Instructors were named Tom, which I thought was odd, a little later another instructor joined us, his name was Tom as well.  Coincidence? I didn’t think so. I thought they were all freaks.

Until one day, An Instructor Tom called my house, my brother answered.  My brother hands me the phone, and says, “It’s for you it’s Instructor Tom.”  I answer it, “Hello?”  Instructor Tom says, “You must come in today, and see the pictures of the Master.”  I was like, ” Oookkkk, I don’t know my parents are working”  Instructor Tom urged, “Well you must come in.”  I was like, “Alright, thanks bye.”

Now I was like wow what fucking nuts, I told my brother we were laughing our asses off. I thought there had to be another reason they wanted me up there. So I got a ride up to the dojo. Sure as all hell, the reason they wanted me up there were to see the pictures of the Master. Tom would handle each picture with a tissue, like it was an religious artifact. I was literally so wierded out by this, I just was like when is this going to end. After Tom was done showing me the pictures, He goes, “Don’t you feel inspired, now?” Yeah Inspired to get the fuck out.

I got home, told my parents. They didn’t want to believe me, they didn’t listen to me. I told them they were wierd mofos.  They kept me enrolled for a month. Then my dad found out from his cop buddies, that the Martial Arts School Chung Moo Quan had ties to the Moonies, and that it was a front for Cult stuff. Now my dad pulled me out of there, good thing I didn’t end up in an airport banging a tamborine.

Annual Review

Posted in Computers on April 14, 2009 by theeriver

Well a little bit of good news, I got my annual review. I’m doing a great job, my boss gave me the maximum raise he could give which is cool.

There was a scene in the movie Old School where Frank the Tank gives a speech, he blacks out and just spews forth this awesome tirade, then he comes to, asking what just happened.  That’s how I feel sometimes like my computer knowledge just comes from another place. Like those mentally challenged people that have an awesome skill, but can’t even wipe their own butts. I feel like a computer idiot savant sometimes, not knowing how I do things, I just do them. 

I grew up on Computers, then when I went to find myself  in 1992, I didn’t even touch a computer until 1997, well maybe an ATM or register. It’s funny how life works. I spent those 5 years trying to deny that geeky part of me, only to return to it later.  I remember stepping into Governors State University, and then Windows 95 was the big thing, I didn’t even know what that was. I learned from almost scratch, but learned it I did.  

It’s one of the few things in my life I can be proud of.

This summer I will be studying for Microsoft Certs, I was certified in an older operating system, but now it’s time to update.  It’l be some work, but I’m confident I can get it done.

Mi Familia

Posted in General Life, River with tags on April 13, 2009 by theeriver

Usually this is the place where I write about my antics over the weekend, telling the world what a drunken fool I have been. Not today, something is weighing me down.

My life is held up by pillars that are built around principles. One of those principles is family. In my lowest of times there is only family that was there for me. Though not to fault my friends, I keep them at arms length as I do not want to burden them, though I do not want to burden my family as well. Sometimes though they find out, and they are there for me. I love them for it.

Let me give you a little background, My Grandmother is a saint in my book, she raised my father, and my uncle by herself. She got a divorce from my real grandfather who was a scumbag by all accounts. Though I don’t know him very well, he died when I was very young. The man she remarried to later in life is the only grandfather I know. He is the man I think of as my grandfather. Well my Grandmother is 88, and I have one rule concerning with my Grandmother. Do not say or do anything that can or will upset her. My Grandmother has lived her life, and she doesn’t need to get a heart attack over stupid crap.

Ok so my fathers brother for whatever reason doesn’t want much to do with my father. My father is kind of a hard man to get along with, and you either love him, or hate him. My father though is my father, and if he commanded me I would lay down my life for him. My Uncle is the second man I admire most, hard working, honest and forthright. My life is his to command as well. My Uncle and father do not have much to do with each other anymore. It’s really sad, and it kills me a little inside. My father loves his brother, but his brother doesn’t want anything to do with my father. I’m sure my father is not innocent in all this, he says some whacked out crap, and probably hurt my Uncle’s feelings more then once. It is not my place to interfere with it, but I love both my father, and Uncle very much. I hope that one day whatever issues are between them that they reconcile, before it is too late.

Ok my Uncle has two children, my cousins. Lets call them Jenny, and Bob.  Bob is like me and my brother in a fashion. We like to live the good life. We’re good time Charlies. We howl at the moon. We made mistakes in our life, but we have had each others back.

My cousin Bob, is like my brother. That’s how it has always been. I remember many years back. I got a flat tire, and didn’t have the proper tools to change it.  I called many people that day he is the only one who drove to the rescue.  Many years back he got into a fight with a good friend of mine and it almost came to blows. I told my friend, “Listen, right or wrong, that is my cousin. You lay one hand on him, I will break your neck without a thought. I will make sure my cousin knows he is wrong, but while I’m around no harm will befall him.” 

Thats how it is. I have his back, he has mine thats how it always has been. I’m not perfect, neither is he. When my friends, and some family say something about him. I’m the first one to his defense…always.

Now his sister Jenny my other cousin, is the complete opposite. She wants nothing to do with Me, My brother, or my Father. We all have our faults, but we our family. If she has a problem with us, why not tell us. As for myself, I give her, her husband, and her child a gift. I ask nothing in return, I get an email thanking me. I was not invited to her wedding, or her childs first birthday. Whether they be small events or not. Whether she has issues with members of our family, we are still family. I love her though, and even though it hurts me she wants nothing to do with me, or my family I will not speak ill of her. I will not call her names. I never have or will. I expressed my hurt, because i don’t understand why she does it. It’s her life though, and what comes around, goes around. 

Imagine my surprise when I get asked by my Grandmother if I have been insulting my cousin Jenny, that my cousin Bob told my Grandmother that she should tell her son, and grandsons (meaning my father, brother, and me) to stop insulting Jenny, and that his sister is kind, and wonderful.  My Grandmother went over to my cousin Jenny’s house for Easter, yet again another family gathering our side is not invited to.

Utter Shock, and Betrayal. I feel like a knife was plunged into my heart. Now my Uncle’s family including my cousin have been very good to me, and I love them to death. They can spit on me, and I would  love them still.  Even now I give my cousin the benefit of the doubt. I called him yesterday to see what’s up. No call back. Why am I hurt? It’s not that huge a deal you might say. It is to me. When Family means everything to you, and that family turns their back on you. It hurts.

These are my points of why I am hurt, not angry. It’s very hard to get angry at them, if I was I’d drive over, and choke the life out of my cousin, and he knows this.  

A. If my cousin has a problem with what I do or say, I would hope he would come to me and tell me to stop what I was doing. Not drag my 88 year old Grandmother into it.

B. My cousin can say what he wants to say, the minute he disrespects my brother, and father on top of it. I draw the line.

C. This man who I defended to everybody who spoke ill against him, who with my dyeing breath would defend, speaks ill of me. Like I’m a piece of shit.

D. He accuses me of something I didn’t do, to me that hurts. I do enough bad things in my life, if I did something wrong. I man up, admit my failings and move on. It drives me insane to be accused of something I didn’t do, because theres nothing I can do about it.

E. I call him to rectify the situation, and he doesn’t even have the decency to call me back.

The sad thing is, it’s all a shame. Probably the next time I see my cousins will be at someones funeral.

Funny Website.

Posted in Uncategorized on April 9, 2009 by theerivs

Think your life is fucked…

Week from Hell

Posted in General Life with tags on April 9, 2009 by theerivs

Between Power outages, Phone System Crashes, People wanting 100 computers set up by Monday, Training Classes, and other assorted sundry of B.S.


Here’s a video for you, enjoy your 3 day weekend, I sure the hell won’t I have to work Saturday.  I think it’s funny, the song is meh, but it grows on me.