The Nooner : 6 girls and me.

So being Mr. Nonthreatening, Cuddly, They probably think I’m gay Guy that I am. Sometime I get to sneak behind enemy lines so to speak. They think I am bored or disinterested, or maybe I have no clue what they are talking about.

Secretly I am analyzing them , watching them, listening to how, and what they talk about. Why? To help my fellow man.  I imagine not all guys get to be surrounded by beautiful women all the time, and have them think this guy is ok to share more intimate side of themselves, a side a few guys see.

Here’s what I learned, when women get in groups, and I am but a fly on the wall.

– Just as dirty as we are when they are by themselves. From fake dicks, to talking about leaving tampons in weird locales. So the next time a girl gets offended because you Mr. Tough guy say something a little naughty. Tell them to go get bent.

-How we crack about our ball and chain, they do the same thing when they are alone with each other. How their guys do this or that. She probably even told her friends how your skills lack going downstairs.

– They joke around, and kid with each other alot like guys do, but the topics are different, they might talk about how one girls bra looks, and we talk about how a dude swings his bat a little bit too effeminate. Tip: Find the man in the boat, he is your friend.

– God they love a bargain, mention 20% off they start drooling like I do over a Hustler.

– Girls love to share on their food, it reminds me like a bunch of lionesses over a zebra carcass. They all take a bit from the leg, and the ribs just for a test.

– Last but not least don’t let them fool you, they know what their doing. They plan, and scheme by themselves, or with each other. If you suddenly find yourself at an “event” wearing a sweater you find itchy and hideous, but they think it’s cute. You know they hatched that plan 3 months ago to get rid of your sleeveless Metallica shirt with the mustard stain from Willy Dogs. Man come to think of it since you been dating her when was the last time you went to Willy’s Dogs, between the Tofu Vegetarian places she got you running to now.

 Bottomline I think, the men and women have more in common then they think, it’s just our methods our different. The way we go about things are slightly different. Men are more direct, women more subtle. I think the goals are the same though…we all want to fuck like rabbits.

Just a side note, pretty girls know their pretty they get guys hitting on them all the time. Two types of pretty girl, the genuine one that if you treat them like a normal person, then they will treat you like one, or the spoiled ones, who think because they are pretty they are entitled to something, avoid them.

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24 Responses to “The Nooner : 6 girls and me.”

  1. If a woman is changing a guy for the negative, then the only person to blame is the guy himself. If you can’t wear a particular shirt or something like that, then you were born without balls or they were surgically removed when you joined the relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong. There are times and places where certain dress is appropriate. You don’t go out to a nice place in a stained concert Metallica t-shirt and expect to be justified. There are times and places for everything. Same can be said about the places both people eat when they are together. If it is one sided, then that isn’t healthy. There has to be give and take.

    In general, I agree with most of your post. They do talk about many of the things we do. The manner in which they do so is generally much less vulgar though.

  2. River, you asshole! I can’t believe you let out our girl code. As of now you are officially not “one of the girls” anymore… actually that’s ok because now is the time I can let all of your male readers about how YOU’VE given away the “guy code” to ME. 😛

    Mike you are right. It’s the guys fault if he lets someone control the way he dresses or the places he goes too. Just like it would be the woman’s fault if the roles were reversed. In every relationship there should be some give and take. I’ve gone camping with boyfriends (I HATE camping) and they’ve accompanied me to craft shows or to see a chick flick. I’ll admit, when I met my ex husband I did a lot of changing with his clothes, but it was gradual and I never made him wear something he didn’t agree on. I think society thanked me though because in 1993 tight rolled jeans weren’t in and he was still sporting them.

    Mike you are also right that we do talk about the same things that guys do. Men compare notes about what girl gives better head, we talk about the tricks a guy can do with his tongue. But you say we aren’t as vuglar as men… ummm… yes we are!.. we can probably be worse.

  3. oh yeah… River is right about the man in the boat. Very, VERY important!

  4. Seriously…I don’t remember any conversations that resemble the items discussed in today’s blog. I sat at the end, but maybe you guys went out without me afterwards. I remember talking about going on a girl trip and how people pronounce their Rs. I guess it was good I was looking through a curtain most of the time to see the t.v. in the bar while the Sox and Cubs were on.

  5. theerivs Says:

    Robin, this wasn’t just based on TODAY’s events, but some things were said that when women are around guys just aren’t talked about on a regular basis.

    The event today inspired this post, it wasn’t about it.

    This post really started way back when I was a lowly cook at Hooters, and the girls would talk about stuff between them, and I was beyond their notice. I was young then, and shocked….I was girls really talk like this. Since then I learned they really did.

    Today was just a reinforcement of this, that were not that different, just our methods are.

  6. Man or woman,if there is something you feel you have to CHANGE about the other person in the relationship………..it’s time to get out. You cannot,nor should you take it upon yourself to change someone. It might last for a week or two,but the basic nature will revert back. If whatever the habit is,if it really drives you crazy,it will only get worse….if it just a little thing that you CAN ignore,then trouper on. You have to decide what you can handle
    Men & women have the same ideas,and ideals…..they just couch it in different terms.
    If you don’t like the way he holds his fork today.you’ll HATE him in 10 years

  7. Well said Jude! Could not have been said any better than that. It’s too bad that many people forget that… myself included.

    Maybe the root of my divorce all started with his out of date tight rolled jeans?? Hey, it’s a possibility!

  8. Also, your title is misleading. You didn’t have sex with the 6 women.

  9. theerivs Says:

    Thats called advertisement Mike.

  10. More like false advertising!

  11. theerivs Says:

    No you implied that I had sex from the title, I never stated at all I had sex.

    False Advertising would be if I called the Post. Anal Gangbang:6 girls and me.

  12. What do you think nooner means? It is slang for afternoon sex. Your title implied it, not me. Your example is just more explicit, but it means the same thing.

  13. theerivs Says:

    Jane you ignorant slut, Nooner as from dictionary.com one of the definitions is “An activity undertaken at lunch hour” , the other definition is correct.

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nooner

    PWNED!!!!

  14. theerivs Says:

    The price is wrong, bitch!

  15. So, it has another meaning listed in the dictionary, big deal. Go up to 10 people, ask them “What is a nooner?” and then get back with me. Whether you like it or not, that is the generally accepted definition of that word.

  16. Do the survey at work. If the word is as innocent as you say it is, then you shouldn’t at all be afraid of any possible sexual harassment firings and subsequent lawsuits.

  17. theerivs Says:

    I’m not argueing it doesnt have two meanings, I am saying you implied one meaning, when actually I use the term as the other meaning. I say I’m doing Nooners all the time, I like the fact it has a double meaning.

    If I said I went to sleep with someone, doesn’t mean I had sex with them, maybe I did just that and slept. Just because your filth ridden mind thinks that

  18. It has nothing to do with a dirty mind. An overwhelming majority of people would equate “nooner” with afternoon sex since that is the generally accepted definition. The same can be said if you said “I just slept with this person.” The widely accepted meaning in that case as well is sex.

    By saying you “like the fact it has double meaning,” you just completely shit all over your own argument. You just admitted you know how people react to certain words and phrases and by using them, even if your actual truth is a minority definition, you are trying to illicit the same shock value of the the majority meaning. Your behavior is a defining characteristic of an attention whore.

  19. I think Mike is just upset because he got all worked up thinking he was going to watch some great porn and then was disappointed. Mike, put your weinie back into your pants or go to a different site for your sexual pleasures…(shakes head and sighs) …sick pervert…

    Riv, I like the title. Since I was there, I can say it definately WAS a nooner.

  20. theerivs Says:

    Master of the obvious Mike, of course I’m an attention whore, well I like to think of myself a general all purpose whore.

    Lets review, I write two blogs, I do stupid shit when I’m drunk like wear a cape like batman, I take part in gorging ice cream down my throat, and shaving my head in front of a crowd.

    I just want to be loved, why won’t you love me Mike? LOL!

  21. LOL, isn’t that your girlfriend Sherry’s job?

  22. River only likes boys Mike. Haven’t you paid attention? Notice how he never gives the names of the “women” he goes out with? Damn, I guess my chances of having a romantic relationship with him are out… he’s all yours, you can have him. Please don’t make him beg again.

  23. I try to take everything I read here with a grain of salt. Also, maybe the reason why yours and Riv’s relationship hasn’t worked is because you refuse to put out to him. Maybe you give him some nookie, he might be more inclined to bring you some soup. lol

  24. I refuse to prostitute myself for anything less than a #3 meal at McDonalds. I do have standards, ya know.

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