I am a whore.

Lets get something on the table. I am a whore, and no not the sexual kind, well no one actually offered money for sex, but really I am a guy. Unless I’m sporting a 12 inch member or look like Brad Pitt, no ones gonna pay me for sex, but I digress cause it’s not the sexual realm I’m dealing with right now. Though my whoreness can easily translate to that realm.

Someone called me an attention whore, yes among other things I am that. The why, and my motives I will get to in a second. First I will review some of the things I’ve done in the past for money, or just the sake to get some attention.

– I once ate 3 large “El Famous” which for those not familar with are pretty big burritos unde r 10 minutes for 100 dollars.

– I drank a fifth of Early Times Whiskey in one chug, sorta like John Belushi did in Animal House for 50 dollars.

– I at two 2lb Burgers with all the fixings, trimmings, and fries under 15 minutes, just for my picture on the Wall.

– I drank a bottle of tabasco for 25 bucks.

Not just for money do I play the fool, When I’m drunk I do stupid shit like put a cape on like batman, I dance like an idiot, I get in a cage act like a dog. So on and so forth. I once scammed the system to get food stamps, I use to be real ignorant with those, I’m talking porterhouse steaks every night. I use to get money for collecting peoples debts for them. All kinds of stuff I did. I sold myself really cheap, I was a true mercenary in every sense of the word, bottomline a whore.

Why do I do these things?

Ok the whore part, I’ll do anything for money is one thing. I like money. That’s why I had a gambling problem. Thats why I did those stupid things in the past, I probably turned around and blew that 100 bucks on a spin of the dice. These days I don’t really need the money, and I have some principals now…not many mind you, but some. I just still want money, now I’m not a miser or will kill for money. I just don’t see the harm in downing a bottle of tabasco for some money.  You have coupons, I do stupid shit for cash.  

Also I am an attention whore. I like making people laugh. I also get off on being remembered for something. Troy pretty much sucked as a movie, but one part I remembered. When Achilles was going into a battle, a little boy says to him, “I would be afraid.” Then Achilles goes, “Thats why no one will remember your name”  Now mind you I don’t equate drinking a bottle of tabasco to fighting at the gates of Troy, but it’s kind of cool when a guy or girl comes up to me and goes, holy crap your that guy that did this, or that.  Maybe I see it as my form of immortality in some warped sense.

Do I ever feel bad for being the whore, or playing the part of the fool. Nope not once. I have no shame in my game.

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3 Responses to “I am a whore.”

  1. Wait a minute… YOU told ME you have a 12 inch member. Lies! I am very disappointed in your dishonesty. Now I will NEVER put out for you…

  2. theerivs Says:

    I must of forgot the decimal again, my bad.

  3. WHITE CHOCOLATE Says:

    super star i say. not a whore

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