I’ve decided to turn gay.

So I’ve got 4 hours sleep. WHY? Cause a Jenny asked me to go out for a drink, and I can’t say no. I cannot say no to women. It’s like a weakness.

So she calls me up. “Whatcha doing?”  I reply, ” Nothing”  She goes, “Wanna go out for a drink?”  “Hell No” I tell her.  Then she goes in that sexy, pouty voice, “Come on??”  Then I turn retarded…”OK”

So the Bears game was on, and I love me some Bears. I was getting all hyped up from that. Someone talked me into a strip card, and I actually fricking won, and the Bears one too.

River shifts into high gear with Shots, and Drinks galore for all my friends. The Party moves to Teehans, where myself big money griff does shots with everyone. Joking around, and having fun. I love those people at Teehans. The elite of Tinley Park.

Then we go to Hollstiens. I see another couple Jenny’s, one I kind of have a crush on. She is smashed, and friendly with me. I go into crush overload. MORE SHOTS!!!!

So I don’t get into my bed until 4am, and I when I awake I realize no wonder why gay’s have money, I spent nearly 200 bucks on dollar beer night, granted most of it wasn’t mine, because I won it. Still though….Sure my ass would be sore, and I would have to dress in funky colors like Fusia..Fushcia….Whatever. At least though I would be well rested today.

Please God don’t let me get a heart attack from all the AMP I’m drinking.


3 Responses to “I’ve decided to turn gay.”

  1. So, I wasn’t going to give you shit for not posting a blog yesterday. I thought, well maybe he’s having a bad day so I’ll keep my mouth shut. THEN I read this and it turns out that you had time to go out drinking, but not enough time to entertain your blog subscribers. I call bullshit. Watch your nuts next time I see you, River. 😛

  2. My bosses, and hopefull future bosses were in yesterday, so yeah it was a bad day, so suck my penis.

  3. Riv, I’m a fat chick… I don’t like small meals, so suck your own penis. 🙂

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