Monday Hangover

Normally I regail you with stories of my drunken debauchery over the weekend. Though there was a little of that. Not much since I moved in with my Mom who has one leg, and my Stepdad who had a stroke 4 months ago, and who can’t even wipe his own ass. It’s funny I tried avoiding responsibilty most of my life, and here it is landed solely in my lap. I will do what must be done always.  The thing is my Mom is not an invalid, so she can manage for a few hours at a time by herself as long as my Stepdad is secure in his comfy chair, wheelchair, or bed. I am there mainly for major muscle power using the lift, which is like a car jack, or engine hoist for humans, or help with transfers from his wheelchair to his comfy chair (which is a nice recliner)

I was able to sneak away Saturday night, and a few with the boys. Started off at Durbins, then went to Dendrinos. and ended up at Kickoffs. I got home about 6am, then had to help my Stepdad out of bed on Sunday at 9am. With his daughter there, he leaned to the left almost took a dive into the nightstand. I pretty much used all my strength to deadlift the guy back onto the bed. With 3 hours of sleep that was rough.

I also had to buy some adult diapers, and that was fun, people looking at me wierd. It is an activity that is right up there with buying tampons for a chick for me now.

Sunday I was able to get away for a couple hours, because my nephew was there helping out. A bartender friend of mine gave me a gift out of the blue and I was shocked. I am generous, and I don’t expect anything in return, but it’s nice when I do get something. It was a movie, 500 days of summer. One of her favorite movies, and I’m sure I would need a Vagina to really enjoy it, but I will watch it with an open mind and see what it is all about.  Jackass was out too, and he begged me to stay a bit longer, but I promised to be home around 10pm, and good thing I am a man of my word, My Mom, and nephew were lifting him all wrong in the lift. It was a ghastly sight. I took control of the situation. It’s funny, I’m telling my Mom now what time we have to go to bed, and what time we will be waking up. Funny how roles change.

Mike mentioned something, that I am not Chaotic, that I do the same things i.e. Get drunk, rinse and repeat. I kind of wanted to respond to this.  I named this blog Chaotic Ramblings, not because my actions per se are chaotic, it’s because the thoughts in my head are chaotic, and I feel the natural way of things are indeed chaos. We as humans strive to put order to things, that no matter how I wish things stay the same, they are always changing. My life is not what it was last week, let alone 2 years ago, and where will I be next year. I don’t know.  The thoughts in my head ar chaotic as well, I am always torn between the good guy, and the bady guy. The man who does the right thing, and the bad guy who just wants to be selfish, and or do the wrong thing.


2 Responses to “Monday Hangover”

  1. It sounds to me as though you are doing what is right for your mom and your stepdad.

    I understand that you probably feel torn when you are going out (“being selfish”)… you long for a relaxing evening away, but the thought of what is going on at home is always in the back of your mind. I remember feeling that way after my dad has his stroke in 1999. I would almost feel guilty for going out and leaving. Thinking that my parents would need my help and I wouldn’t be there.

    All I can tell you is it gets better. New routines will form, situations will become more familar and you’ll find that less and less you are feeling guilty for going out, because you will feel more and more comfortable that things will be fine in your absence.

    Just know that it no way does it make you a “bad guy” to want to have some time for yourself – to do what you want to do and not worry about problems and issues at home. That’s normal. And you’ll get your “me time” back soon.

    I know that I don’t really know you – only what I have read in your blog, but I feel like I know more because we have been/are going through similar situations.

    It is very admirable that you are helping your parents they way you are.

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