Paging Doc River

I Get No Respect

“The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.”

Rodney Dangerfield

In River’s post, he talked about changing oneself in order to fix the problems in one’s life.  His words couldn’t be more true. However, sometimes, while you know there is a problem, the solution isn’t always so obvious. I have had a running issue for quite some time now and I know of only one way to solve it. Complete personality overhaul! Sounds drastic, and that is probably why I haven’t done it to this point.  So, what could be wrong with me you ask? And, if you didn’t ask, I just did it for you.  I enjoy joking around and keeping the mood light.  Its enjoyable and falls right into my comfort zone.  However, this type of personality has brought about a HUGE negative side effect. I get no respect. Since, I’m always joking around, I am not taken seriously when I am being straight.  To top things off, I don’t exactly have a job or position that in itself commands respect.  People ask, “What do you do?”  When I tell people I’m a student, afterward, I feel largely brushed off.  Now, I ask you Dr. River, how do I change this situation right here and now?

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17 Responses to “Paging Doc River”

  1. There ya go Riv, time to put on your Dear Abby Hat and get to work on this…

  2. White Chocalate Says:

    amen #1

  3. I ask this, respect for what purpose? If you had their respect what would you do with it? Is respect earned, or given?

    Next question, Do you respect yourself? Only you can answer that. If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect anyone else too. What is respect for yourself, it’s starts with being honest with yourself. Then know what your needs are, and not just your desires, or wants.Knowing that your desires and expectations of other people are just air, and illusion that will cause suffering. Do you respect others? Others can never meet your expectations, but if they try you must respect that.

    Respect is kind of the same as being liked. You can’t make people like you, likewise you can’t make people respect you, they either do or don’t.

    I will tell you this you probably don’t let people in. You keep people at arms length of the real you with your “light mood”, and humor. You have to take a chance and let people in, show them other facets of your personality. That there is some depth to you. When you show those other aspects of yourself they either will garner respect for you, or not.

    It all starts with having the courage, to develop stronger relationships with people, and not caring really what the results are.

    To start the change, look at the people you surround yourself with. Do these people add to the tapestry of life, or do they drag you down.

  4. Respect for what purpose? Common courtesy
    When talking with people, whether they are friends or strangers, I do
    my best to treat people as they would want to be treated. I try not
    to do things that could possibly be looked at as disrespectful. In
    many ways, its just little things. Not cutting someone off, not
    ignoring someone, or any other crap you wouldn’t want someone to pull
    when you are talking with them. There are flashes of this type of behavior from people.

    Respect for a fellow individual is given. Respect for someone’s knowledge or expertise is generally earned. It is the first part, however, that I am generally concerned with here though.

    I have great respect for myself and consider myself to be an intelligent individual. Also, I generally keep my actions within a certain boundary of civility. For example, I know someone who I’m sure loses many people’s respect by the way they behave around alcohol. Essentially, she becomes a lush and acts crazy when she drinks. That type of stuff is definitely not me. That said, I know I’m not perfect. I can be extremely stubborn at times and possess many other flaws as well.

    Now, its possible that I am over-blowing this.

    • Well common courtesy is in short supply in todays society to begin with.

      Introductions, and first impressions are huge. I only know you from playing video games, and never observed you in social settings. But if you come off smartassy off the bat, then some people may not respond to that. My first meeting you was over your piss poor MMO play, LOL!. Since I’m a big guy, people might respect me more cause, well they might fear I will bash them if I don’t so this type of problem is a litle foriegn to me.

      Are you making a mountain over a molehill, possibly as long as you have friends and family enjoying your company, and respecting you then what do you care about the masses. If your sitting in your room wondering why no one loves you….seek better help then me.

      I can say this Introductions, and first impressions are huge. When meeting someone for the first time, I always introduce myself, and shake their hand. “Hello my name is River. Pleasure to meet you.”
      I try to say hello, and not hey, or some other variation. I always try to be a little formal.

      Unless I’m drunk, then I lick your face.

      Listen Mike, there are some things you can control, and there are somethings you can not. If your doing the best you can let go, and let the chips fall where they may.

      • My MMO play was top notch you fucker! I am certainly not crying in any corner. lol and no I don’t come off as a smart ass to people when I first meet them. I am on best behavior at those times and even when I do get to know someone better, I am not one of those obnoxious people that are constantly teasing or riding someone’s ass with stuff. I have seen those fuckers and I can’t stand them. Also, I do all those things you mention such as shaking hands, introducing myself. Unfortunately, I don’t have any real examples to give you as to why I feel as I do as its more of a gut feeling thing. If I could liken my experience to something, I feel like I am always thought of as someone’s spouse per say instead of my individual self. You follow what I’m saying?

  5. Yes, When I was younger, my brother was very popular. I was always “G”‘s little brother, it wasn’t until I came out of his shadow, and made a name for myself did people know me for me.

    Are you living in the shadows, meaning do you engage people when your out? Or do you just sit back and go with the flow.

    To be respected you have to take a stand, for right or wrong, and also be noticed.

  6. When River says he is respected by people, please note that he is talking about the gay population. 🙂

  7. Yeah, I think I have taken a back seat to a certain extent in an effort not to offend anyone or cause too much of a splash. I probably need to let loose a little bit and let my inner self come out to play. …not my wang.

    • That you do. Yeah showing the wang thing doesn’t garner respect…unless it’s huge… like mastondonic size.

      #1 being the butch lesbian you are, that means alot to me that you and your gay friends respect me. Thanks.

  8. I’m kind of surprised Mike. You seem pretty forthcoming and very much like a jokester to me, but guess I only see what you type. I would never have guessed that you are so conservative. Is it true that people’s online personalities can be so much different than their “real life” personalities? I think I am about the same with both… To the people that know me in real life, am I right about that? (god, I really hate using the terms “Real Life” and “Online Personality” but I just couldn’t think of any other way to get my point across.)

  9. haha Riv. You are such an ass. But your little Butch Lesbian comment did make me laugh. To all of you that don’t know the story about that… A few years ago I had brain surgery and the bastards at Northwestern Memorial Hospital decided to shave my whole head. For about 5-6 months I had to wear scarves and bandanas. River didn’t really know who I was before that so he automatically assumed I was a butch biker lesbian. Appearantly I made some sort of smart ass comment when I met him and he didn’t like me very much. LOL. Now the difference is that Riv just calls me those things to be an asshole. I have pictures to prove his sexuality… 😛

  10. Lol, you have seen my Facebook. My personality on here is the same in person. That said, I tone it down to a PG-13 rating when I’m around certain people. But, I do think its a tricky balancing act between being engaging and being obnoxious.

  11. Mike, I think everyone tones it down to PG13 when they are around certain people. When I am at a business luncheon or a company holiday party even *I* know that I can’t talk about penis size and the pros and cons of furry handcuffs. I guess it all depends on how many people you are actually toning it down for.

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