He’s just not that into you.

A female friend of mine asked me to put up hints of when to tell a guy likes you. I told her usually I just whip out my dick. She said no normal guys. I was like ok I will help.

In general, because every guy is different, but there are a few things guys may do that signal he likes you. Here’s a couple.

1. Eye Contact – Most of the time, I try to look into the eyes of my lady love deeply, or if I’m in a group of people and I crack a joke I look to see if she laughs, or if I’m across the room and you catch my eye more then once, I might be interested.  If I stare at you for 5 minutes straight thats means get in the van, I got some candy.

2. Body Language – When I’m interested in a girl, I try to face her. I use open body language, not crossing my arms, or turning away from her. My attention is on you, and only you.

3. Touching – When you leg touches mine, do I move it?  Do I hug you more?  Do I hug you..alot? The more I touch you, the more I like you.  If I’m humping your leg like a dog, just whack me with a newspaper, and go “No, River…Bad, River”

4. Does he show interest in what you do – I really can give a crap about the plight of the white bellied seal of Alaska, but if I’m asking you questions about it, then I probably like you. See if the guy takes interest in your interests, does he ask you questions about you, and your life.

5. He act’s like a schoolboy – I like other men have issues with expressing emotions, so revet to the hair pulling technique. What I mean when we were little boys, and we wanted you to pay attention to us, we would pull your hair. Well nowadays  he will tease you, or we flirt with other girls to see if you get jealous. Juvenile I know, but hey boys will be boys.

6. Compliments – He takes notice of things, and compliments you. Like your hair, or something. Though if the guy is your friend, he might be trying to be nice. If he notices your shoes, and knows the brand they are….he’s gay.

7. Do I try to impress you – If I try to impress you with a nice restaurant, If I leave a bigger tip for the waitress, I clean my car for you, etc..etc.. yeah I like you, or If I talk to you on how much of a stud computer guy I am. A guy will often try to impress a girl he likes. If I don’t like you, the question I might ask you is do you like Fries with your Big Mac.

8. Nervous – If I’m a little nervous around you, I fidget, I search for the right words to say, etc..etc. If I like you I got little butterflies in my stomach…

9. Do I show up where your at – If you hang out at a bar, and all of a sudden I stop in there. Yeah I might like you. As I write this, it sounds creepy, but it’s not. Like say you tell me you bartend at a bar, all of a sudden I’m in there for a drink, or perhaps you work at a tanning salon, and now I have a sudden urge to look like a piece of shoe leather then yeah I might like you. If I show up outside your window in the middle of the night…call the cops.

10. Friends – Pay attention to my friends, and your friends. Am I asking questions about you to your friends? Are my friends making fun of me everytime your around. Are my friends a little nicer to you then they were before? I will let it leak somewhere that I like you, and my guy friends being the guys they are will rib me for it in secret, and if you pay attention you could tell. Also I will ask questions to your friends about you, your likes, dislikes, if your seeing someone, what sexual position you like stuff like that.

11. Personal space – If you invade it do I back away, or do I stay….personally if you invade my personal space theres gonna be a hand on the ass at some point.

Well that’s all I got for you, if other guys got any more tips go ahead put them up. Until then girls happy hunting.

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41 Responses to “He’s just not that into you.”

  1. Boy, you went all out on this one, even putting up a heart candy picture and all.

    Ok, I have noticed something with this post. Riv, you do ALL of these things when you are drunk. Well except for the Nervous part. But people normally aren’t nervous when they drink so I’m not going to even dwell on that.

    • Ok when I’m drunk is a different story. I just don’t give a shit, and I would do this stuff to a tree. We’re talking interested in you, not hopelessly in love too. When I’m drunk I’m interested with anything with Tits, and an ass.

      Since I am such a deep thinker 🙂 I am more subtle in my methods, for example if there is a girl I like and we go out for breakfast with a group of people. I will pay for just the ladies meals. This shows I am generous, I am willing to be nice to her friends, and has her wondering my motives if I have any.

  2. I usually get a boner and it points in the direction of what it likes. It’s good for finding water too.

  3. Ok, so when you say you get nervous… what are the signs? I’ve never seen you nervous before. For instance, when I get nervous I tend to bite my bottom lip… of course I do the same thing when I’m pissed off so it all depends on the situation.

    Scary, thank you for sharing your boner story. I am even more intrigued by you now. LOL

    • Well like I said I can hide my emotions well…but when I’m nervous I tend to be at a lost for words, or I stumble for my words, or I just shut up entirely.

  4. Cougar2010 Says:

    Wow, I must say, I am pretty impressed with your writing on this topic! I believe I was out and u licked a girls face…what does that mean? So is it bad if a girl wants to see her man every day in the begining? What’s ur take on playing hard to get? Do guys really think a relationship will last if you F**k a girl the first date?? Just some ??’s I need a guys point of view..

    • Well Cougar, every guy is an individual so bare that in mind. When I licked the girls face, I was interested in her. Was I hopelessly in love no. She was an attractive women, I was drunk, and she probably had a very lickable face. Now I wish I could of remembered it that would of been better. You girls forget we guys seperate sex and love. So being interested in a girl, is different then being in love, but that’s a topic for a different day. To answer your questions. To see her man every day in the begining…Yes it’s bad. Men, and myself included hate to be smothered, it’s best if you work up to things. Touch base with him, send him a text, or call thats cool, but one should build up to things. Girls please don’t leave a box of tampons at guys crib until maybe month 6.

      Guys are hunters, we thrive on the chase, if you give it up on the first date, will he respect you? maybe, or maybe not. Many women I have gone after, once I slept with them the chase was over, I was done. Alot of this depends on the guy. It’s also about respect for yourself. If you sleep on the first date with me, who else do you just give it up for. If you give it up on the first date, the odds are against you. Do I want it on the first date, hell yes…will i kick the girl to the curb if she doesnt give it up on the first date…no, not if I truly want to be with her. Will i kick the girl to the curb is she does give it up on the first date, no not originally, but most girls that give it up right away usually have low self esteem….or they just love the cock too much.

      Attraction is all about anticipation. Build Anticipation you build attraction, but the they key is not to overdue it.

    • I don’t want to step on Riv’s toes, but I can give my point of view on your questions.

      1. When a man licks a girl, that means she is a sloppy eater and he was being helpful removing it from her face in a subtle way.

      2. I like when a girl wants to see me everyday. Then I know the slut is in check and she knows where to go for sugar

      3. If I find out a girl is playing hard to get I whip it out and pee on her leg. You have to make your territory fast before others do

      4. I’m not sure about this question. I’ve never had sex. I’m too shy. I’m willing to test the theory though

      Rivs will agree, you gotta keep your pimphand strong

  5. Yep, I’ve def never seen you nervous Riv. You never fuckin shut up around me! LOL

  6. Cougar, good questions!

  7. ok, this is off of the topic but why the hell are my comments showing up out of order? Riv, get on that ASAP or I’m cancelling my subsciption to Chaotic Ramblings.

    Scary, you are totally my type of guy. What time do you want to meet up and fuck? LOL… 🙂

  8. BTW, Scary…. that was a joke. 😉

  9. Cougar2010 Says:

    scareybooster – really a sloppy eater?? What?? Lol

    Well, I for one to all the girls out there, don’t give it up on the first date, unless your just looking to have SEX…then go for it…but, I think there is nothing wrong with waiting a few wks, especially if you think there is something there. You will never get the respect that you deserve if you put yourself right out there..yes, sex is very important in a relationship, however I think that your personality should be first, then see if the sexual attraction is there.

    And if a guy/girl doesn’t answer his phone or texts….chances are he isn’t into you…move on.

    Here is another ?? for you Rivs…so a girl ur with meets ur friends, and she sends messages to ur friend about him being hot…what do u do? continue seeing her or tell her to F OFF??

    • I really don’t think sex on a first date will ruin a relationship (for once I’m being serious. I’ll tell you why.) it really comes down to what the people want in the future. If you are a guy to bang and go the girl should make him wait. If the guy is a stand up guy and the attraction is there, then go for it. You might get married in the future. Here is my story.

      I met my ex-wife and she was kind of a slut. I am a relationship kind of guy. I love holding and cuddling my woman. Sex is important, but having a good time with that person is more important. So I met my slut ex-wife and I told myself “I am not going to sleep with her till she knows I’m serious.” At the time we were both really drunk and she was feeding me drinks to get me in the sack with her. I declined because I don’t do drunk women.

      We then dated for several months. I did not have sex with her for over 3 months. That is how long I was comfortable waiting. I didn’t want a slut wife. Even tho I hadn’t had sex for almost a year, I still controlled myself. In the end we got married and had 3 kids over 7 years. Then the slut cheated on my twice.

      My meaning to the story is: it doesn’t matter how long you wait, if the person is a cheating slut, they will always be a cheating slut. Feel out the situation and go for it if it feels right.

  10. Cougar – WHAT??? Regarding the question on the text situation. Did someone REALLY do that? I think we need the story behind this one. no need to use real names, but what’s the whole story?

  11. Cougar2010 Says:

    hahaha… not to me, but to a friend, I told her to beat his ass and kick him to the curb….

  12. I would kick her to the curb, In a start of relationship that is a total lack of respect, i seen married couples and stuff kid around ,saying yeah your friend is hot.

    If you read my earlier posts you have to have respect, for yourself as well.

    As for the comments, there is a limit of 3 replies, i don’t know if you see it on your phone. But a reply kind of cuts into the normal chain of things…nothing i can do about it.

  13. Cougar2010 Says:

    Thanks Rivs that is what I would have done, but to each their own!

    Scareybooster – wow, sorry to hear all that. I agree with what your saying as well! Once a cheater always a cheater. Wish you good luck, and don’t piss on girls legs…it just isn’t cool.

    Riv…here is another topic for you or ?? WHAT DO MEN REALLY THINK WHEN THEY SEE A WOMAN NAKED ????

    • After they stop laughing at my penis…..Doesn’t need to be a topic..it’s one thought. “Holy shit we’re really going to do this. Yippee” We’re not as critical as chicks are.

    • That easy one:

      Holy Crap Boobies! (ok don’t stare at the boobies. Look somewhere else.)

      Holy Crap Vagina! (ok don’t look at… Oh jeez I’m getting a boner oh no no no…I’m feeling light headed can control thoughts anymore)

      Penis: “Hey, let me out here!” /zip “Oh baby, why didn’t anybody tell me it was safari day. I’m on the hunt for beaver tonight!”

  14. This explains River’s transgender fetish. He doesn’t really look at what he’s fucking. As long as there’s a hole, that’s good enough for him.

  15. I love how almost every post has a comment that says STFU #1. LMAO

  16. 🙂 … oh by the way… Mike’s not dead. I checked on him.

  17. Cougar2010 Says:

    Really, so we (women) are just assholes about our own body?? You don’t look at anything and think ewww?? I have a really hard time believing that! I can honestly say, I am not like that with Men…as I have gotten older, I don’t need a hard ass body anymore, other things are important…but, if they got it hell ya, that is a plus!!!

    • Seriously the average male is so enthralled with just being naked with a chick, and you don’t look like Igor. We’re pretty good. We’re not that critical. We are critical outside the bedroom, like when we are looking at the mall, but girls are too.

      When it comes time to do the dirt, we don’t really care as much.

      I can honestly tell you from my years of working around in bars with some hotties, and security for strippers that women are way more self critical of themeselves and other women then men are.

      Then again some men don’t have quality control, like I do. LOL!

  18. I agree with Cougar on this. I don’t really care what a guys body looks like. Even when I was 120 pounds it never really mattered to me. I’ve always been attracted to the big teddy bear type anyway. But Riv you have to admit that men are pickier about a womans body. I can even count how many times I’ve heard comments about my own weight or insensitive comments about another womans weight or problem areas made by my guy friends.

  19. Yeah Mike is right, you need to learn to read. I said were some picky people outside the bedroom. But if were in the bedroom, we want to be with you, and your naked. We aint that picky.

    Even Quasimodo would look at an A cup girl, and go damn they girl needs a boob job, especially with his boys around. Cause were all 17 year olds really.

    • *cringes at thought of “Barely B Becky” nickname that I got in middle school*

      *smiles knowing new nickname could be “definitely a full B Becky”*

      • Well you know the saying..screenshots or I won’t believe it. Full B’s I don’t beleive it. 😛

  20. River, you asshole. I was checking it on my phone and your comment crossed with mine. So it’s my turn to say STFU! and I would like to add… bite me also.

  21. Go to your corners and come out and give big hug!

    Have good weekend guys/gals!

  22. Scary, Riv and I always give eachother hugs after our verbal abuse to eachother. LOL Hell he even gave me a hug after I “accidentally” hit him in the balls a few times. He loves me… Haha.

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