Spare the rod, Spoil the Child

“Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child” is from the Bible, and I’m gonna have to say I believe it. I read this article this morning about a study. I am not a parent, but as an observer it seems when kids are not disciplined they act like animals. Does spanking guarantee a good kid? No, I don’t think so. What I think it does instill in the child is fear. A little bit of fear is a good thing.

In my life, my father beat me several occasions. One time in the Deans office of High School when I was 17. Every beaten I ever got I deserved.  I feel it did several things. It put a fear in me, did it stop me from doing stupid things, sometimes no. It stop me from doing really stupid things. It also garnered a respect for my parents,  which continues to this day. Hell I still don’t want them to find out crap.

My brother wasn’t allowed to discipline his children the way he should, and they walk all over him. They have no fear, no respect for him, or the rules of the house. It angers me that society is coming into our homes, and dictating how we should raise our own children.

The article says spanking creates aggressive kids, what’s wrong with a little aggression. Like the Kenny Rogers song says, “Sometimes you got to fight when your a man”

Those of you who are parents, what are your thoughts?

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10 Responses to “Spare the rod, Spoil the Child”

  1. I’m very anti-spanking. I don’t think it does any good. My kid doesn’t hit the other kids in school. In fact she’s never hit another kid or bitten one. This, I think, is because we have a very strict no-hitting policy in the house. We’re nice to each other. We’re nice to the cats. After all, by spanking you’re teaching the kid that if someone else does something you don’t like, the response can be a smack to change the person’s mind.

    That doesn’t mean that there are no punishments. There are PLENTY of age-appropriate punishments far more effective than spanking, for every group. When kids walk all over their parents, it’s not for lack of spanking – but lack of consequences in general.

    The article brings up tantrums, and how spanking may end the behavior, but not through understanding, but through fear of getting hit. Here’s how I deal with a tantrum. She’s objecting to taking a bath and rolling around on the floor and I say “Ok, mommy will be in the bathroom, you come in when you’re ready.” Just completely ignoring that the tantrum is happening. Not two minutes later, she composes herself and trots into the bathroom, ready for her bath. I think in that case, the message is still “tantrums don’t work, we’re still having a bath”, but she understands that point, rather than “if I act up, I get a smack, so I’d better shut it.”

    We’ll have to think of appropriate punishments when she gets older, but I suspect for egregious offenses, husband is going make her spend a lovely Saturday making an old-fashioned card-catalog for all the books in the house. Is that worse than a spanking? Hrm… maybe.

  2. I don’t feel there is anything wrong with giving your kids a crack every once in awhile if they deserve it. But it doesn’t work for every child. For instance, my oldest could give a shit. And she’s the one that I’ve been having the most problems with. It seems to affect the other two kids much more.

    When I was younger, my mom never had a problem beating the crap out of me when I screwed up. Sometimes it was in very embarrassing situations, but I deserved it. No, it didn’t stop me from doing stupid things and getting into a ton of trouble, but now that I think about it as I got older she stopped smacking me around and that’s when my behavior got worse. It’s still a standing joke between my sister and I because if we were out at a restuarant, acting like fools, mom my would always say, “Do you want me to take you into the bathroom?” That would stop us in our tracks. We knew that if she had to take us into the bathroom, we wouldn’t be able to sit on our red butts for the rest of the day.

    As I said before, spanking doesn’t work with my oldest. It never really has. But the other ones know not to mess with me when I give them that “look.” They know when it’s coming. Hell, I even spanked my son in his pediatricians office once for acting up. At first I got nervous about it because I know how far out of context it could have been taken. Luckily the doctor just looked at my son and said, “I have no problem leaving the room to let your mother finish if you don’t sit still and do what you’re told.” (I guess it helps that our doctor used to be a cop…)

    I can see where certain people could take it to the extreme. No child should be left black and blue. But a little spanking shouldn’t be frowned upon. I think it’s ridiculous that the kids have so much power over the parents. I have a friend that won’t even give her kids a swat on the behind (and believe me, these kids REALLY deserve it) because she is afraid that if she does, she will lose her job as a school administrator. Unfortunately , she is not that off base. It could happen.

  3. I don’t have any kids, but I was cracked every once in while for talking back or being disrespectful …..you think after being backhanded by my mom or dad…I talked back..????? Fuck No!! You try getting smacked by your mom who wears hard rings, ouch!! Kids need consequences….even if it means a little crack here and there. There is nothing wrong with that. The problem is kids have absolutely no respect for authority in today’s society. They are aged beyond their years and are well aware of their “rights”…. What kind of rights should a child have before the age of 18???? Fucking ridiculous. Im not saying absuse your child, but instill fear into them. The outlook for children being raised in society today is very grim; it scares me. Many times it’s not even the children, it’s the parent’s who dont remain consistent and can give two shits about where there kids are or what they are doing. So many couples get married, work their 20-40 hour a week jobs, drive nice cars, and make having children the next “accessory” in their lives; hence, why for 3 years I was paid upwards of $600 dollars a week to raise someone else’s child; 7am-5:30 pm monday through friday. This is why are society is on a downward spiral. Sorry to go on a rant and semi-off topic. Either way I’m down with a few spanks here and there when deserved.

  4. I don’t have any kids…..that I know of.

    Kids are brats because the parents have failed. Plain and simple. I’m not a huge advocate of spanking or not spanking, just consistency. If a kid screws up, they need to be punished in some fashion. Parents too often let their kids plea bargain their way down on punishments or get out of them altogether. This sets a horrible example. The need to be taught early on that their actions have consequences.

    • Mike you can’t say all kids are brats because their parents have failed. I agree that it is the case most of the time, but some children have other issues going on that the parents have no control over. There are many chemical imbalances and so forth that can play a big part in a child’s behavior. I’m not saying that’s always the case, but there are times where it does play a role. Yes, it’s the parents responsibility to get the child the help that he/she needs to correct these issues, but sometimes is takes awhile for the doctors to figure it all out.

  5. White Chocalate Says:

    I have a 5 year old. I am not married to her mother. They way she acts at my house and the way she acts at her mother’s is like night and day. Why is that you say. Cause I give her a crack on the behind every once and a while. She respects me. Is she going to be a kid and be stupid hell ya. but that is part of life. I have to agree commando. People do make children the next “accessory!” People need to parent not try to be their kid”s BFF. I feel that by my father smacking me did not only give me repect for him but for others. So yes people spank away. OH YA, TO ALL RIVER’S LADIES THAT READ THIS BLOG HE LOVES TO BE SPANKED!!!!!!!!

  6. I think it’s not strictly a matter of spanking or not, but just discipline or not. Too many kids aren’t afraid of consequences these days.

    Of course, my mom definitely believed in spanking and I was probably the best behaved kid around between that and her corporal punishment of essay writing.

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