Archive for June, 2010


Posted in General Life, My demons on June 30, 2010 by theerivs

I always liked horror movies, especially the older ones, where it wasn’t about the gore, but about the story, and mood. I just watched the new Wolfman movie again, and I have to say I can’t get enough of it. I have a love for werewolves that spans decades, I think it had to do with me first watching movies like the Howling, or American Werewolf in London.

What holds my fascination is you have a good decent man, that turns into a monster at certain times. I identify with that, because sometimes I feel like that. I feel that inside me there is a monster, that battles to be released but I must not. If I do bad things will happen. Last time it happened I snapped and went to beat up an old dude. Back in my jail days I made a choice, to get out of my criminal ways and try to be a decent person, but that element still lies deep in me.  I still whenever I walk in a bank look around for cameras and case the joint.

I think we all struggle over the battle of good and evil, and like all battles sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose.


Posted in General Life, My demons with tags on June 29, 2010 by theerivs

Do you beleive in soulmates? Like there is one person out there just for you. I use to, back in the day. I loved this girl with all my heart. We were unseperable. We would do so much stuff together. When we talked sometimes I would laugh so hard my sides would hurt. She was pretty, smart, and witty.

Then one day she didn’t want to be a part of my life. It was like she plunged a dagger into my heart. A gaping hole was in my soul, and I filled it with hate, and self loathing.

Fast forward years later, and I think I am still trying to find a replacement. Someone like this girl, who will be a girl to do everything together, that will be my partner in crime, someone to explore life with.  I am looking for another soulmate, and maybe that’s a wrong notion.  Perhaps there is no such thing as a soulmate.  Maybe my idea of love is too out of whack with reality, maybe I should just be happy, and settle with someone who just adds something to my life, instead of looking for that perfect someone.

Monday Hangover

Posted in General Life with tags on June 28, 2010 by theerivs

To say I had an interesting weekend, would be an understatment of the year.

Lets start with Thursday. I had Friday off, so I went to the Tilted Kilt with a girl I will call CougarJay.  CougarJay I’ve had the hots for some time, but she always resisted me, and actually I was getting use to the fact maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. We went to Tilted Kilt, and we both had way to much to drink. We went back to her crib, where she lives with her Mom. Her Mom said I could crash on the couch, and I took full advantage. So I was going to take a cat nap, and get the hell out of dodge. Cougar Jay goes to her bedroom and changes to some shorts, and a top. Sits next to me in the dark. I will spare you the gory details, I didn’t go ALL the way, but let’s just say my face ended up looking like a glazed doughnut.  The thing that is bugging me out, is she dropped the “Love Bomb”, I had a feeling it was just pillow talk, I did the classic Han Solo move and said, “I know”

The next morning I asked her if she meant it. She told me, “She loved me as a friend”  Really? What the fuck? So I said, “Later Friend”  In the usual I get pissed, and take my ball home manner.  Well Friday was Lynard Skynnard, and man I love those guys. Their music just speaks to me.The Concert, was AWESOME. I got hammered.  The crappy thing about it is I kind of allowed myself to get a little frisky with another girl.  So much so there’s video of us making out in the parking lot. I took her home, and we made out more.  She wanted me to go in with her, and “play” some more. I refused.

Both these girls just wanted to be friends, now they want all of me. Fuck that. If I was younger this would be a different story. I want more out of life then just a roll in the hay. I want someone to build a future with. Is that wrong? 

Saturday the wierdness did not die, Jackasses ex-girlfriend Paparazzi, texted me 8 times, and from reports was stalking him at his apartment, then she came up to JWH, at like 1am. Looking for him, all i need is the psycho music to queue up.

Sunday I visited my Dad, he still seemed weak, I just realized things are changing, the old guard is being replaced by the new. At that moment I felt all the weight of my 37 years upon this earth weighing me down. Then I went home found out my stepdad might have another blood clot, we don’t know.

Definately a wild, and fun weekend…but it left me in a wierd place, and I don’t know what the hell direction my life is taking.

Happy Birthday Bruce Campbell

Posted in Art of Man, General Life with tags on June 22, 2010 by theerivs

Well I am not one for hero worship, but one actor plays roles which just crack me up, and makes being a smartass so fun. That’s Bruce Campbell. Who is Bruce Campbell? Find out more here. The great thing I like him personally that I gathered from interviews and such, is he generally is a funny, smart ass guy. He worked for everything he got, he started making films in high school, and he’s doing what he loves. I gotta admire that.

Here’s his website.

Although you might not know him from his B movies, but I’m sure you seen him in something, oh perhaps a little movie called Spider-Man…He is probably one of the most quoted guys in geekdom, one of my favorites is.

King Arthur asks, “Are all men from the future loud mouth braggarts!”  Bruce as Ash replies, “Just me baby, just me!”

He’s in a TV show called Burn Notice, which is a great show so check it out…Now give me some sugar baby…

Monday Hangover

Posted in General Life with tags on June 21, 2010 by theerivs

Oh Dear Friday was bad…My favorite local band, Rendition,  played at the bar I hang out at JWH.  They are a great bunch of guys, and just fun. So I pregamed it a Jackass’s. I was trying to behave, I was actually drinking beer. Torino, Commando, Dago Princess, The German, all came out.  Fricking power went out at work, so I was worried about that, luckily everything came back on, and it was cool. Party on…

So we get to the bar, I see Geek Princess, and Nascar. I decided to switch to the usual whiskey. So after drinking, dancing, and becoming a hot mess. Thought I would cool off with a tasty cold Irish Car Bomb. I talked the owner of JWH to come with me. I bought a few car bombs, then we headed back.

As we were heading back, I saw Stoopid Costume, and Polish Princess drunkenly head over to JWH, their both bartenders at Durbins, and seeing them out of their element surprised me. We all headed to JWH, to drink..heavily.

Little Tangent, I call this girl Stoopid Costume, cause one Halloween a couple years ago, she had this little cop outfit on. I came in really drunk, and I said, “What the fuck you supposed to be?” She replied, “A cop”  I then yelled, “That’s a stupid costume!”  She said she almost cried. So I tell her once in awhile…”That’s a stupid costume!” 

So after JWH, went to Durbins. Stoopid was out of control, I had a feeling I was taking her home… So I switched to water. Jackass disappeared…I finally took Stoopid home, got home 5am.

Saturday – Did my sonly duty, then went to my brother’s took a look at a computer issue, then took Stoopid to work.  Other then that stayed in and behaved.

Sunday- Went to my Grandpa’s, and my Dad was there, spent some time with them. Then I went had a few drinks, cause I didn’t want to go home right away. I did eventually go home, and I watched kind of a chick flick, but they had geeks in it which were funny. Geek Princess’s daughter said there was a geek in there that reminded her of me. It was a geek who wrote a blog, and he said ” My blog isn’t about being read, it’s about being written.”  So I had to watch it. It was ok, cute in a vaginistic kind of way.  Funny thing is we were watching it almost same time.

Oh well next week is going to be bad, Lynnard Skynnard is coming to town.

Photo Friday – Twofer

Posted in Art of Man, General Life with tags , , on June 18, 2010 by theerivs

Elisha, and Mila. God I love them both. The thing about Mila that makes her twice as sexy she plays World of Warcraft.  Geek girls are always HOT!

“Pain is temporary, Quitting lasts forever” – Lance Armstrong

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, My demons, Philosophy on June 16, 2010 by theerivs

I got this quote over twitter…When I think about my father, probably one of the greatest things he instilled in me is a feeling of I should never quit. I should keep striving, even through failure to keep trying to bang out something. That’s probably the #1 reason I’m still here today, alive.

I keep trying. When I fucked up, went to jail, I didn’t just wallow in the mire of my life, I kept forging ahead. I got my Computer Science degree. When I lose jobs due to layoffs or any other reasons, I keep going, and sometimes I land on my feet. I’m not saying my life is all roses, and a bowl of cherries. For every inch of ground I gained in my life, I have crawled it.

There is alot of things I have to accomplish in life, and lately I think I’ve been settling for the status quo. I’ve been spinning my wheels in the mud so to speak,  I’m worried about being doomed to taking care of my parents, worried about losing my job, worried about the fact that I’m getting older, etc , etc.

Once in awhile, I gotta kick myself in my own ass. I must remind myself that to get what you want in life, you must work for it, and anything that is worth having is worth the work. I want the house with the white picket fence, I want my own family, I want the Cadillac in the driveway, but no ones going to hand it to me.

 What I’m trying to say, yeah your life might suck, but you gotta hang in there, keep pushing on…and one day you just make it to where you need to be.  There’s an old Japanese proverb, “Fall down 7 times, get up 8”