My Peter Pan Complex

I have a Peter Pan complex…..I wear green tights, and think good thoughts.

I don’t take getting older very gracefully.  As my birthday draws ever nearer I may appear to get a little…well….stranger. To me to grow old, means another step of weakness, of being a burden, of losing my pep in the step if you will.  Coupled with the fact that I really don’t have anything tangible in my life, sure I got some great friends, alot of great memories, and alot of good accomplishments….but in the dark of the night, when I am alone my demons haunt me.

The problem is because of my past sins, I am left with some challenges that continue to face me to this day. I mean I really didn’t want to get older, and led the lifestyle that by all accounts…I really shouldn’t be alive now…Hear I am though still standing.   Now mind you, I don’t blame anyone for the life I have led, and that’s what kills me the most. It’s all my fault. Though I have made efforts to change my life for the better, sometimes…well sometimes it feels like nothing has really changed. I have always had the feeling like I was trapped, I was a slave to some fate, or destiny I can not comprehend. Also I don’t have much to look forward to, most people might have kids that are growing older, or they have someone special in their life. I don’t.  Every Birthday is a haunting reminder of this.

Don’t worry I’ll get through it the way I normally do…lots of booze.


4 Responses to “My Peter Pan Complex”

  1. Green tights are pretty awesome. As noted by Halloween costume last year.

  2. This makes me sad……..

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