What is Love?

…Please don’t hurt me…anymore.

Oh sorry, I was working on this girls computer last night, and she asked me “What is love?”  I was going to give her some smart answer about hormonal reactions containing endorphins, coupled with animal instincts to procreate. Then the idealist in me wanted to think there was more to love, there had to be. Are we animals devolved to our baser instinct’s, or are we touched by the divine. Can love only exist in sonnets, and poems of the ages.  My answer at the moment was simply, “I don’t know”  I felt stupid. I felt like there needed to be more of an answer.

So I thought back to all the girls I fell in love with in ages past, what did they have. What qualities did they possess that I couldn’t get enough of them.

There has to be a Physical spark if you will, and than some other attributes build upon that spark to create a fire.

Attraction – This is the spark, where it all starts, not all of the girls I fell in love with were Ms. Americas, or Stripper hot. The girls I fell for possessed something though that drew me in. Not talking the nice rack, or sweet looking ass something, perhaps it’s a look, or a way they moved. A smile there, or a pout there. For example, one girl eyes lit up when ever I walked in the room, like I was some sort of superstar. It was all I could do to resist from taking her on the spot. I have a thing for a woman’s eyes too, I don’t know what it is but some women when I look into their eyes, it seems like they are staring through me, piercing my soul, and not at me. 

Respect – A girl must respect me, respect the boundaries I put up as a man, and sometimes let me be a man within limits. Someone once said, that men need respect, than love, and women need love, then respect.  Sure men want love, and women want respect that’s a gimme, but men need respect more, and women need love more.  In the explanation there is a circle of sorts. If women give the respect their men need, the men will show them love that they need.  You see this in alot of successful marriage.

Confidence – A girl that doesn’t get walked all over. Sure I know some guys LOVE subservient women, and that might be all good for them, but how can you respect someone who let’s themselves be walked all over. An ex-girlfriend said this to me, and it’s so true, “How can you care for someone who doesn’t care about themselves, how can you love someone who doesn’t love themselves”

Intelligence – There are alot of types of intelligence, and you don’t have to discuss the Formulas for solving Differential Equations with me. Just be smart enough to know what you’re talking about, or at least have the brains to google some shit.  Part of an old quote I love, “There are people who do not know, but do not know they know not, they are ignorant – teach them, there are people who know not, and know they know not, they are fools – shun them”

Passion – To believe in something greater than yourself. To fight for what you believe in, and for that which you love. I joke I say the girl who cuts my tires cause she’s pissed at me is the one I’m going to marry. All jokes aside, I mean the one who is willing to fight for “Us”, the one who got my back when I am in trouble. The girl who will fuck someone up if they talk about me.

Challenges Me – I love when a girl calls me out on my bullshit, or one that makes me think.  For example I was walking with a current girlfriend, I came across someone, who called my name.  I started talking to this person like he was an old friend, and laughing. Then me and my girlfriend walked away, after a bit she goes, “You didn’t even know who that person was, did you?”  I just smiled, and laughed.  There was another girl who I loved deeply who tried to convert me to Vegetarianism, because she wanted me to eat healthier. and though she failed miserably, I admired the fact that she tried.

Needs Me – Now I think a girl should have some independence, and have her own life. It’s nice to feel needed though. Men like the saving the damsel in distress thing. We get off on coming to a girls rescue. I’m sure being needed is something girls want, but in a slightly different way. I want to share my life with someone, not feel like I am a prop in their little show.

Silent Lucidity – I don’t know how to explain it, but there are times when I’m with that special someone in the quietness of life, and knowing that they are by my side, just gives me a warm feeling. For example, One Sunday Morning I was just reading a paper, and my woman was putzing on her laptop leaning against me, or like when I’m driving just listening to the radio, and I look over and there she is, wind blowing through her hair. It’s in these silent moments, that I think wow I am blessed.

So if I had these things, and girls that possessed these things, if I was such in love, then why am I single. That answer is the simplest of all…..I’m a dick.

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2 Responses to “What is Love?”

  1. I’m surprised swallow is not one of your categories

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