I found this hiding …

I was clearing out some documents and found this. I have no idea if I wrote it, but it’s been on my computer since October 2008, if I’ve ripped someone off please tell me because I googled it and couldn’t find anything!

You’ll never get it. I can’t explain to you what you mean to me or how I mourn for what we had, what we could have had. There are some things which we aren’t supposed to break. Some things which are too precious and too devout to smash. But I want to smash them, to crash and smither them. To make them so small that they have barely ever existed. That to us they have not existed.

I want to be your only. Your forever. In my place is a misfit. Someone who is not your whole, not your complete. Not your match or your opposite.

I would break four parts to make one whole other worldly thing. I would swing my spiked club, my misshapen cruel love. I would wield it as a weapon to crush and smother if you asked. I would grind bone with bare hand, I would trample on tooth and nail and I would bleed, cry and melt to make you mine again.

I would hound. I would hunt. I would crave the bounty. I would eat raw and live, I would crunch and snap if you asked. If only you asked. I would discard. I would disgrace my honour. I would leave. I would abandon. I would leave.

I would do all this if you would show me how to live again. If you would show me the way We Lived. If you would show me the beach at sunset and the desert at sunrise. If you would show me the white tipped shark and the white tipped mountain fins. If you would declare your love for me. If you would walk the sea bed. If you would walk the river silt. If you would walk the burning sand and the blistering snow. If you would be here.

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4 Responses to “I found this hiding …”

  1. Thanks for sharing Deme, being a big fan of the written word, and poetry. I like some of the imagary you bring up

    It smacks of how quilckly love can turn into something ugly, even violent when unrequited.

  2. Thanks hon 🙂

    I kind of remember writing it and I know what I wrote it about. Still brings up the emotions for me. Wonder what else I might find!

  3. I really like this. Gave me chills.

  4. Glad you liked it Bee 🙂

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