The Servant Waits

“The servant waits, as the master baits” – A line from History of the World, part 1.

Masturbation is one of those human things that we seem shameful of, like crapping, or farting, but if not alot of us, we all do it. Women double-click their own mouses, and Men waggle their joysticks around. The frequency, and how we do it may vary. I remember in my teen years it was looked down upon, like if you did it you were some sort of homosexual. Like the rumor, women don’t fart, and real men don’t whack off.  Silly, and juvenile notion to be sure.

I don’t remember at what age I really discovered it, I had to be about 11 or 12 I think, all I remember is what to. I beat my dick like it owed me money to the Sears Catalog, Lingerie section. Hey what the hell they were hot, and in their skivvies. I remember, and this is probably common when I first orgasmed I somehow broke it, cause white stuff spewed out. Thank goodness for Libraries, so I can look up this stuff when I have to.

I don’t know much about Woman’s masturbatory schedule’s, but I do know for them it’s more ritualistic. For Men, well at least for me it’s more like a chore. Like I do it to clean the pipes so to speak, usually in the morning before the shower I whip one out. I have to clear the mind of lustful thoughts, cause well I’m very filled with all the deadly sins, lust being one of my worst. So it acts as I kind of a purge of that stuff.  In my humble opinion, I think why most men our crappy lovers they view love making as they view masturbation. For men, masturbation is goal oriented, we don’t really take our time and enjoy the experience more like women do, perhaps if we did take  our time with it, it would help us become better lovers.

I spent my life trying to remove it from computers, so it made me a little jaded.  I’ve seen it all, plus ever since my brother showed me a video tape in 7th grade of a girl fucking a horse, and other girls fucking stranger animals I think I was shocked for life, and made an instant cynic.  What I masturbate to is past memories of girlfriends, and perhaps think of girls I have a crush on now.  Once in a blue moon I come across a bit of porn, or filth that pleases me but thats few and far between.

One of my more guiltier pleasures is that I do love watching a woman masturbate, because it helps me learn what kind of gets that girl off. Every woman is different, and seeing them masturbate is like a little key to the palace so to speak. Do they like clitoral stimulation, their breasts played with, etc, etc..

Probably one of my annoyances in the country I live,  is with our puritanical view of sex in America, where violence is more acceptable than making love. It’s a little warped I think, but don’t get me wrong I like wiping out legions of things in my video games too, oh wait the game has a hooker in it….FOR SHAME!


7 Responses to “The Servant Waits”

  1. In a biological sense, sex is goal oriented. Your penis is primarily concerned with spreading its seed. So, during masturbation or sex, you can delay ejaculation but that doesn’t change the fact that it simply wants to blow its load to satisfy its reproductive purpose. This a reason why I think men view it as more of a chore. While, sex is an experience or an event so to speak. The penis is on its own reproductive schedule in a way and its mission is to fire as many shots as possible in the hopes of impregnating someone.

    • “The penis is on its own reproductive schedule….This a reason why I think men view it as more of a chore.”

      Ohh Gee… you guys have it sooooo tough. How do you deal with your reproductive organs having a schedule. Daily orgasm must really suck for you. Lucky for us women our “reproductive schedules” make us bleed for 5 days and not die – oh, but at times it feels like you are…

  2. Sometimes I want to fertilize the world

  3. I’ve tried to explain to my boyfriend that I can be horny and still not be in the mood to masterbate. Other times I won’t be horny but will be in the mood to masterbate.

    I think a big part of it (at least for me) is the mental aspect. I can watch/read porn and only be in the mood to masterbate OR to have sex. For me they are two separate moods.

    I don’t think my boyfriend understands, but he isn’t complaining 🙂

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