Archive for January, 2011

Monday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife, General Life, Movies, My demons, River with tags on January 31, 2011 by theerivs

Friday I didn’t do jack shite. Which was real nice for a change.

Saturday..First off let me say for the record I knew Saturday would not go as planned, I even mentioned New Lenox Jail to my friend Towlie.  I started the night by hitting Commando’s and Torinos crib, I am always amazed by Commando, she always puts out a great spread for us bums. She’s like a den mother for our clutch of deviants. After pregaming a bit we head to a bar in New Lenox called Charlestons, yeah I know right not at JWH, or a bar in Tinley.  Our friends band was playing up there, which we all have a good time with. It was a great time, of dancing and having fun. I was happy that the German, and OCD’s sister were getting to know each other better. Oh god the nerd came out of me too, they had Street Fighter 2…fuck Ryu is all I gotta say.  Like I said things were going great, until. Talledega got hit in the head by someone. I heard something to do with someone hitting on someone wife, and Talledega tried to intervene, but got jacked in the head. I was in the back, all I heard was that Jackass and Talledega about to get into a fight, and they aren’t backing down. Boom…glasses come off…Time to go to work. So when I get up there, bouncers were holding everyone back, and the situation was either going to explode or not. I was out for blood, I really was. These little douchebags fucking with my friends. I snapped. I knew inside the bar was no place to fight, so I told those mother fuckers I’ll be waiting for them outside. I went outside, and waited for them. When they came out, I told them, “Hey motherfuckers, big tough guys, cheap shotting bitches, here I am. Come on, let’s go”  Next thing I know bout 5 people are blocking my path, and OCD, and Commando trying to calm me down. I don’t know what I said, but I knew I wanted blood. I wanted them to know pain, and make them regret fucking with my friends. I felt like I let Talledega down for not being there in the first place, and I wanted to make them pay.  To no avail, the whole New Lenox police force showed up, when the cop asked me if I was cool, I said I was, I really wasn’t.

I got yelled at by Commando, she goes, “River, Chris Cavelle, when I tell you to calm down, you calm down”  I had to laugh at that. We went back to Torino’s and Commandos crib, starting eating up a storm. OCD fell on her ass, and she had Salsa all over the place. Jackass pulled her chair out as she went to sit down, OCD’s sister had a good time I guess, she was puking.  Towelie is such a nice guy, he was worried about the Salsa he helped clean it up.  Everyone went to bed, I wasn’t quite ready to retire yet. So I left, and kind of checked around Laraway for signs for those motherfuckers, drove by Charlestons again, got a little gas, rolled around Mcdonalds parking lot, I was debating going to Dendrinos, or Kickoffs to look for them, but doubted they would go that far for a late night bar. If I knew of a late night bar in the New Lenox area I would of went there for sure. So I went to bed, my thirst for blood unquenched.

Sunday –  I went to see The Rite. Awesome fricking movie, scary not in a schlock gore fest, but psychological kind of way, best performance by Anthony Hopkins since Silence of the Lambs. Hell I think I’m going to see it again I loved it so much.  Then I hit the bars for a couple of beers, and something to eat. It was nice, I enjoy talking to the bartenders that work on Sundays.

Reason #1 Why I Will Punch You In The Face

Posted in Uncategorized on January 28, 2011 by Mike

I’m starting a new segment here on Chaotic Ramblings where I will talk about things that will result in me punching you in the face.  Sometimes, they will be serious crimes against humanity and others will essentially be pet peeves I absolutely can’t fucking stand.  Either way, I will punch you in the goddamn face.











Today’s reason:  the words “nom” or “nom nom nom.”

So, your sorry ass is posting pictures of your latest meal on Facebook because I guess you think you are Emeril or some shit and you have created some masterpiece of a dish.  In truth, you didn’t.  It’s not hard to cook.  Any jackass can follow a recipe, but I digress.  Ok, you just uploaded your latest masterpiece and followed it up with the comment “nom nom nom.”  What?!  Are you fucking Cookie Monster all of a sudden?  No, you are not!  You have the ability to choose any number of different adjectives to describe your meal and the best you can come up with is “nom!”  So, for the betterment of the human race.  Stop saying “nom” or I will punch you in the goddamn face.

So Shines a Good Deed in a Weary World

Posted in General Life, River with tags , , on January 28, 2011 by theerivs

“So Shines a Good Deed in a Weary World” – Shakespeare.

I don’t know if you remember this girl I knew got in a terrible car accident. Here’s the post, and on that post is a link for a website. Well her fiancee Chris Medina was on American Idol the other night. Just hearing him talk, and tell the story. I’m not a man who is really in touch with his emotions, but it moved even me. I’m not an American Idol fan, but I’ll be pulling for my boy.

I wish Chris, and Juliana the best of luck… The great thing about it, that mother fucker can sing, but I miss Julia Gulia. My beers don’t seem as cold without you.

Photo Friday

Posted in Art of Man with tags on January 28, 2011 by theerivs

She got a purty mouth….


Posted in General Life, Philosophy, River with tags , , on January 27, 2011 by theerivs

There’s a song from Korn and Disturbed on the Queen of the Damned movie’s soundtrack called “Forsaken”. In the song there is a line in it saying, “How can I be Forsaken, when I’m not the only one”

Bee just posted a post about being kind of lost in the mix so to speak. and she ponders if it’s gaming the root.  I have been without a real relationship for quite some time, and the ones I ever did have didn’t last long at all. This post made me think though, sometimes I lament that I don’t have that special someone in my life.

It’s funny though, I come to realize I am not the only one. There’s alot of people that are not “in” love with that special someone, and heck even married people sometimes have fallen out of love, and are miserable.  I find it ironic as well, that girl’s voicing this problem, I always thought a girl could toss a stone, and find some dude to fall in love with, perhaps not.

Also Bee, I, and many others I know share a common hobby and that’s being a Gamer. It’s funny how the stygmaticism of being a gamer is so prevelent, even a gamer sometimes believes it.  You know what I find it no different then any other hobby, and if you get obsessed with your hobby it can be dangerous. Tell you the truth, I find gaming MORE social than what other people do and watch TV for hours, I’m sorry if I would rather talk to people over Vent (computer software that allows you to talk to people), and play video games, than mindless sit in front of a TV set watching the sludge they call good programming these days like a vegetable. My mind is engaged, I’m working out puzzles, talking to people halfway cross the country while your waiting for Situation to scream “It’s Tshirt time once again.”  Now if you love TV thats your hobby, and I won’t knock it, it’s just not for me. In fact I no longer own a TV.

So yeah there are days I feel utterly alone, and little miserable, but it’s a little comforting to know I’m not the only one. Actually there is quite alot of us lovelorned out there, the use of internet dating sites is on the rise, by the way those sites aren’t for me, been there done that. Doesn’t seem organic to me.

But hey I may or not meet that special one, but I’m not going to let that stop me from keeping my eye open, and making the most out of my life, cause I firmly believe if I live a life that is exciting and fun, someone’s gonna take notice and want to live that life with me, but for now let’s all do a shot, and be alone, and miserable together.

Let me drop everything, and work on your problem

Posted in Art of Man, Computers, My demons, River with tags , on January 26, 2011 by theerivs

Lately I’ve been getting alot of calls from people who want their computer fixed. Now I don’t mind helping people out at all, but my time is limited, and with work being so busy it’s very very limited. It’s the nature of the IT beast, one day your surfing the internet all day, the next your busting your ass working 10 hour days, even having to come in on the weekends. My record is working 27 hours straight to get a lab together for Governors State.

Anywho I do feel bad turning down some people, but I have to be a little judicious as of late, but you know what I think those that should get my help are those that deserve it. For example take the last 4 people that contacted me for computer help this week.

One was a lady whom I have not talk to in years…years, and out of the blue she’s begging me to help her fix her computer, she is a friend of my mothers, and she doesn’t even call my Mom to see how she’s doing on a regular basis. Her kids use to be friends of mine, but they don’t want nothing to do with me anymore, heck their on my facebook, and I don’t even get a “Hi, How are you?”  I know, I know the telephone cord goes both ways, but then again I’m not the one looking for help from them.

Another was this dude who I gave my number to him abotu 6 months ago to look at his sisters computer, he lost my number and a few months ago asked me again for it. Now I didn’t mind then, I wasn’t that busy when he asked me. Then after a couple months he’s calling me now, when I am way busy to help him. Go fly a kite.

Now there is  a busboy, who works very hard, and hooks me up when he can. He is very very appreciative of all I do. He asked me to help, I got him. Also another girl, who invites me to her partys, and who is cool with me, I’m helping her as well.

I guess it’s real hard for me to say no to people, and I feel a little guilty, but am I wrong in only helping people that deserve my help?

Surprising Interests.

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, River with tags on January 25, 2011 by theerivs

I have actually a wide spectrum of interests, and since I don’t get to share them on a daily basis I thought I would share them now.

Gaming – You may or may not know this, but I do love video games. Some of you might be…”Yea no shit”, but some of you may not know. It’s the reason I went into computers. I one day hoped I would make my own video game….yea and maybe one day monkeys might fly out my but. Other than video games, I do love all types of other games, card games like Rummy, or Poker. I love board games, like Monopoly, and Life. I really like competition, and thrive on that.

Writing- Well this one is kinda of like a no brainer since you probably read my stuff, but I do have several short stories, as well as my personal love, poetry. Yeah I actually like to read, and write poetry. I think it gives a short glimpse into emotion and the human condition that other works just can’t convey.

Movies – I love movies, I think I’ll watch anything though chick flicks are something I don’t prefer, I can tolerate them.

Music – I love music, all kinds. I can listen to Heavy Metal, Rap, Frank Sinatra. Hell I listen to some weird shit like Taiko Drumming on occasion. (Taiko Drumming is the Japanese big drums you may have seen, or not)

Sports – Football mostly. Baseball I can take it or leave it. I enjoy Hockey, and Basketball. I’m no fanatic, or do I follow the stats like some guys, but I just like watching and enjoying the competition.

Some surprising ones you may not know about –

Culture – I am not a real world traveller, and I doubt I’ll leave the US in my lifetime, but I do love learning about other cultures, I took several language courses in my lifetime not so much to learn the language, but to learn the culture.

History- I really do like learning about the olden days, and how things use to be. I especially love medieval, and ancient history. Yea I like going to the Ren Faire too.

Philosophy/Religion I devour all knowledge on these subjects like a velociraptor on a Jurassic Park tourist.

Animals – I really am an animal lover, my favorite being dogs. One day I hope to get one of my own, though I can’t take care of myself, let alone another entity.

Photography – I actually like taking pictures, I won a contest in High School, 2nd place in a VICA State Competition for my black and white photo of a World War Vet Memorial.

Exploring – I like going on little adventures, and seeing things I haven’t seen before. I’ve been known to just wander downtown, and take in the sites even by myself.

Debating – I actually like discussing, and debating topics, sometimes I’ll take a position totally opposite someone just for the sake of a good debate.  I like pushing buttons.

These are some of the major ones, I have a few minor ones to, like whiskey making, and always finding out new things I like everyday.

Monday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, River with tags on January 24, 2011 by theerivs

Friday – We go to Baileys for Towelie, and Nascar’s sister birthday. Now I for one loathe Baileys, it’s filled with old skeevy people. I think what made the night was Commando, she got hammered. She started dancing with RJ, and Muffdiver, doing a little show, and lifting her leg over her head shouting, “I’m super flexible.”  I think the old dudes all had boners there, they’ll be sadly disappointed next Friday when these hot 20 something girls won’t be there. Overall a great time, I even talked the German into coming to Durbins for a couple. Which was awesome cause the DRDC showed up dressed to the nines. The DRDC is a group of girls that work at Durbins that call themselves the Drunk Rowdy Durbins Chicks. They fit the bill that night. So after cutting the rug  a bit (that’s dancing) with some of the DRDC, I headed home.

Saturday – Either was a great day, or a bad day I don’t quite know, or remember. I started with an all you can drink party for a coworkers 30th birthday at Durbins, and ended up on Jackasses couch puking. The how I got from the party to the couch is really by drinking an asston of Jack Daniels. Some spattering of tales, and a drunk picture of myself.

Sunday – I was really rough around the edges, It was a beer day indeed. RJ was with us, she came up to me alone goes, “Do you remember motorboating me last night? I don’t appreciate that.”  I started to freak a little. I apologized, she started laughing.  Though I think the funniest moment was when Commando comes up to me drunkenly, “I lost my shirt, you see my shirt”  Just cracked me up. Other then that because the Bears lost, emotions ran high. There was a bit of drama in terms of Tallegdega, and Muffdiver. Commando got caught in the middle a bit, she was crying, and really women’s tears are like kryptonite to me, but there was nothing I could do to fix the problem. After talking to Torino though he’s right, we should all just stay out of Tallegdega’s and Muffdiver’s stupidity.  Geek Princess asked my advice, she was worried about something that may or may not come to pass. I told her I am worried once I win the Lottery, will everyone treat me differently. You can not worry about something that may never happen, that is a futile gesture indeed. Geek Princess said I was a deep cat, I told her it’s all smoke and mirrors, a frail illusion.

 I did pretty good with OCD not falling into the flirting trap, oh she tried to flirt with me, but I walked away. OCD had more than her chance, I think I’m done with this game. Anyway there’s a new girl kinda hanging around us, and I’m intrigued by her.  

I went to Durbins had a beer then Jackass snuck in bought me a shot of Jack Daniels to be a smart ass, and left….not funny. I went home thinking of all the fun times we had this Bears season with my friends, and even though the Bears lost we had a good run, and some real good fun. Memories I will always cherish, well those that I could remember anyway.

Things I noticed about Women

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, River with tags on January 21, 2011 by theerivs

Being a bouncer for 15 years of my life, I had the ability to notice some things about women, that maybe the average male doesn’t know. Now I know I am speaking in generalizations here, and that not ALL women are like this, but If it’s here, I seen it more than once, and with different girls.

1. Not always so clean – Women are sometimes some foul people, I’ve been into washrooms, and bedrooms of girls and just been disgusted. As men we always think of women as pristine, and clean creatures cause they nag at us enough.

2. Sense of humor is different then men – I don’t get what they find funny, come on a loud fart let loose in the middle of the store, and some yelling it’s a disgusting smell the next aisle over. That’s some funny shit right there. Women comics are always not as funny as guys.

5. They say they can hang, but never do – Girls love to talk a big game, but usually by the end of the night most of them are ready to pass out. Then again not many guys can hang with me either. So I’ll cross this one off.

4. Vicious – Catty, mean, etc..- You think they rip on us guys, you should see them poince on their own. I’ve seen best friends just rip into each other when they are alone, and seperate, but together act like a lesbian couple.  Oh and the saying “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, that shit ain’t no joke, son.

5. Nosey – From my Grandma to my little niece, and everyone in between. Always into a guy’s business. Filled with questions, the What’s, Who’s, Where’s…..That’s part of the reason I don’t tell anyone why the call me River. It aggravates the shit out of women, and I love it.

6. Shoes – Alot of women love the fucking shoes.’Nuff said

Smack My Bitch Up

Posted in Art of Man, General Life with tags , on January 18, 2011 by theerivs

So Sunday I was privy to a conversation of what women like with a group of 4 or 5 of them, now I heard this before from certain women, but always thought they were the exception, not the rule. That day it clicked.

These women were saying they like it rough, hair pulling, a little choking, slamming against walls, etc.etc. Then it dawned on me, that’s why nice guys get left in the dust, cause like me when I totally love a girl, I put her on a pedastal, and treat her like a gentile flower. That’s not what she wants. Of course I’m sure the limits each girl has is different, but I think maybe this is way more common then I thought.

Well it makes sense why I got more play when I was younger, I didn’t give a shit about a girl, and treated her like shit, and she actually got off it, when I am looking for love treating them how I think they want to be treated thats where things break down.

I always knew women like assholes more, cause of the confidence aspect, but it must have to do with the aggression part of it as well.  Attraction isn’t a choice, it just happens, part of attraction is making the girl feel this spark, this spark is generated by raw primal emotions on a girl.

The thing that got me curious as to the limits, how far can I go? Should I bite her neck and draw blood, when I choke her should I wait until she’s blue. What is taboo, if anything? Are their girls that don’t like this rough stuff? So many unanswered questions, and it leaves me hungry for more.

Well it gave me food for thought, and it was a very interesting conversation. I do think though if you give yourself a bloody nose while eating a girls pussy, you might be a little to eager…then again that’s just me.