I am what I am

“A rose is but a rose by any other name” – Shakespeare.

No matter what name I am given, I am still me.

Commando was a little afraid I was over the top the other day. Her and Torino worry about me and Jackass, but Torino is a guy he probably would never admit it. It’s just how guys are, but Commando is a girl, and she is more in touch with her feelings, and wanted to tell me how she felt.  She said she put me on a pedastal, I don’t know if that’s really what she meant, cause who the hell would put me on a pedastal. I hope she meant she respects me, and really cares for me.

 Also Commando said to me that I have this front called River, but it’s the times that I let Chris shine through that she treasures the most. She’s not the only girl I heard that from. Sometimes it makes people think I have two personalities. I really don’t. It’s really all me.

Who am I?

The felon who beat the shit out of an inmate, or the college student who studied imaginary numbers in discrete mathmatics? Am I the insane patient who went to bed listening to the screams of fellow inmates, or the network administrator who’s company depends on him day in and day out?  Perhaps I am the bouncer who enjoyed choking the life out of someone, or the computer nerd happily playing computer games.

I am all of these things. The sum of who I am.  I make no apologies for the bad in me, for without the bad there would be no good.  Without the dark, you can not have light.

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2 Responses to “I am what I am”

  1. Commando Says:

    I think I was either super drunk or you completely missed my point. furthermore, why would I not put you on a pedastal? I respect you, Chris, River, whatever. It doesn’t matter what I call you or what anyone calls you. You are you, and thats why we love you! If i eluded to “River” being a front, well, like I said, I was drunk. So I searched through your archives and found something I wrote to you once before, to refresh your memory here it is:
    “There are people in your life who will love you and respect you, no matter what “demons” you may or may not have. True friends (family) don’t just walk away when “the old riv” makes a guest appearance. I’m sure your friend appreciates your honesty and repects you more becuase you were honest. It would’ve been easy to lie. Disappointed? Never. Elated that 98.9% of the time we experience the River we all know and love…..definately!! Your true friends are the people who love and are there for you 100% of the time! Not just the 98.9%”
    FYI, in repsonse to “who the hell would put me on a pedastal” I do Riv. And i’m pretty sure in my “speech” (as you call it) on Sunday, I gave you many reasons why I do. It’s not like I’m swinging you from a fucking chandelier. I just hold you a little bit higher. You are like a big brother and as I’ve said before I will always have a very soft spot in my heart for you.

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