Archive for June, 2011

Mange, Mange

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife, General Life, River with tags , , on June 30, 2011 by theerivs

Mange means eat in Italian. Last night I went to Frankie’s Ristorante with Geena. It was good food, don’t get me wrong, but I grew up, and perhaps spoiled with down home Italian cooking where my Grandmother made her own Ravioli, and Sausage back in the day.  Like I said the food was good.

I went with Geena, surprisingly she did most of the talking. Funny how things change, when I first met her she didn’t say one word to me. Now I can’t get her to shut up. LOL! It was nice, the conversation was mostly about her buying a house, and all the work she’s doing in to it.

Want to know something funny, I use to suck at the art of conversation when I was younger. I would mostly give one word answers, and not really talk to much, until one day when I was working for the Armored car service I would drive with the same dude 5 days a week, and he would talk and talk, and I wouldn’t say shit. Until he snapped, he went “Listen mother fucker! You suck at conversation. You are supposed to ask questions, and listen.”  That’s when he taught me the art of conversation.

Ok back to the topic at hand. So I went out to dinner, and it wasn’t cheap. Geena goes, “Ya know River I would of eaten somewhere cheaper and been happy too”  I replied, ” Fuck that, I wanted to come here.”  See dating allows me to go to places I normally would like to go by myself, sure I have no problems going there by myself, but taking Geena out gives me an excuse to.  Plus all my friends know I’m all about big pimping. So ladies if I ask you on a date, be aware it might be just cause I want to try a new place. LOL!

After Dinner, I tried to talk Geena to go out for a drink, she said she really wanted to but couldn’t. She had alot of things to do tomorrow. I was like fine, and left it at that.  Geek Princess wanted to grab a drink, so I was like ok for a few. When we got to JWH, we were greeted with a big “Allo”. Sissy, and Tallegdega’s sister was there, and they were skizzered. Sissy and me had a long talk which was really nice, I learned more about her, I enjoy learning more about my friends.

Then I heard a bucket crash down on the bar next to me, I was like “Who the hell?” Turn around. It was Jackass.  Man I was so tempted to stay until close, I really needed to after the day at work I had, I got a talking to from my boss cause a user thought I was treating them like an idiot. I was and they were.

No I was a good boy, went home and woke up bright eyed and cheery…ok not so much.

 

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The Human Heart is Fickle

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, My demons, River with tags on June 29, 2011 by theerivs

Saturday morning as I stare at this naked girl, I wonder “What the fuck did I just do?”

Last year roughly about this time I would of given anything for this girl to be my girlfriend, In fact in a night of passion this girl dropped the “Love” word, but then retracted it later. This made me angry and I cut ties with this girl.

Fast forward to now, and after some time to think, I did handle it poorly. Like a spoiled child that doesn’t get his way tosses a tantrum, and stomps out. It’s not that I regreted what I did, but wish I did handle it a bit better. In that regard I thought I would patch things up with this girl, to the point of just being friends.

Next thing I know I’m on a bar’s dancefloor making out with this chick.  In the Aftermath of it all, I’ve changed, I don’t know if I want a relationship right now, and I don’t know if I want a relationship with this girl especially. I don’t really know what she wants either.

 Then I remember and it hits me as I lay there my own lines of wisdom, and try to remove my desire, and expectations. To enjoy the moment, her company for what it is. A shared moment, among many moments of my life.  

After that I realized it was hotter than Hell in July in that Bedroom, I had to get the fuck out of there, but laughing to myself thinking of the fickleness of our all too human hearts.

What a Curious Case.

Posted in Movie with tags on June 28, 2011 by theerivs

Last night I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons. I was expecting a huge Vagina filled Chick Flick, but it was quite a different movie, which I liked. I endorse those things that don’t fit neatly into a box. I liked it because it made you think as well, I admit I fill my time with visceral movies, movies that have more blood in them, then a blood bank, basically those movies that don’t really test you.

This movie was different, because it not only made me think, but it echoed alot of my sentiments about life. That nothing is forever, and to always live in the moment, because soon that moment is gone. That you may fall, but to always pick yourself up again.  The fact that no matter what his situation was, Benjamin always kept optimisitic.

Someone asked me the way given the end of the movie turned out, why did Benjamin leave Daisy. I told this person that it was because he didn’t know what was in the end, and he refused to be a burden. I could respect that.

 

Monday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, Pure Insanity, River, Stupidity with tags on June 27, 2011 by theerivs

I’ve got alot of thinking to do because of this weekend. I feel like the Hangover movie, like I need to call someone to say, “I fucked up”

Friday – After work I hit JWH for some free pizza, and beer. Jackass was supposed to be at his Dad’s, so me and the German went there to have a beer, we bought the old man a case of beer for his birthday. Jackass wasn’t there, but we still had one with his Dad. Great guy, makes me laugh alot. Jackass’s family are all great people.

German and I found Jackass at his crib, and we all went over to Geek Princess for a fire, and some drinks.  Well between the Jug, and a half of Apple Pie shots we drank, it became quite the shit show. I think some of the memorable moments  were salami on the forehead of several girls, Jackass giving an undygrundy to Geek Princess, rocking out the Flippy Cup, bucking Geek Princess around while she was holding onto my ass, and finally Geek Princess biting the shit out of my titty. So after a bit, I get the wanderlust, and decide to hit the bars.  

So at the bars, there was this girl, we’ll call Geena after Geena Davis. We’ve all known her for awhile. I’ve fooled around with her before, but my drunk ass ended up making out with her on the middle of the dance floor in Durbins…stoopid booze. After a stop at Dendrinos, and Olympic Star. I end up at Geena’s house, it was pretty nice, and I am proud of her buying her own house. Well come 7am, as she fell asleep in my arms…I just had to get the fuck out, mostly because I had shit to do, and wanted a couple hours of decent sleep, and another reason it was hotter than an african slave ship in that motherfucker. So I slid out of bed, and crept towards the door with my stuff in hand, and jetted. Ever see a fat man slide out of bed….it isn’t pretty, but I was quite stealthy for a big guy.

This situation perturbs me, I’ll get more to it later.

Saturday – I had my niece’s graduation party, it was really nice to see my family, and spend some time with them.  After that I hit the bars..Well After doing the tour JWH, Durbins, Dendrinos, Kickoffs, and oh yes Olympic Star. I was plum tuckered. Cool thing about this night, I saw some people I don’t normally see, and  it turns out this geek girl I talk to at my gas station all the time knows this other girl I am friends with. Sometimes it’s really a small world.

Sunday – I actually slept most of the day, then went to see Bad Teacher with the whole crew. It was good, I laughed. After that I went to the bars for a couple.  I had a little to think about.

The situation with Geena, is a precarious one. There was a time where I would of given anything to have her as my girlfriend, and after the first time we fooled around things got a little sour, after I jumped the gun so to speak, don’t get me wrong I want to move to the next level have a serious girlfriend, and maybe one day have a wife, and god forbid a family.  Just not right this minute, I got a lot of things going on.

I was sitting there watching her sleep for a bit, and I think Universe has a cruel sense of humor, and I love to laugh along with it. I will do what I’ve been doing for the last 38 years of my life….and just wing it.

Photo Friday

Posted in Art of Man with tags on June 24, 2011 by theerivs

We’re going a little Old School Today. I actually had a folder with this picture on it. Yeah that folder never went to school…it was well a little sticky if you get my drift.  Damn you Heather Locklear, I loved you the most!. HAHA!

River’s 6 Rules to Being a Man.

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, River with tags , on June 22, 2011 by theerivs

I often say it takes more than a penis to be a man, but what does being a man mean to me. What does it take to be a man in my eyes. Do you have to take a bullet, and just smile. Do you have to work your life away, and be a ghost in your own family. Nope it boils down to a couple of things really. Here  are my ideals I try to live by, sometimes I fall short, but I get up and dust myself off, and hit it again. 

River’s 6 Rules to Being a Man.

1. Protect those that can not Protect Themselves – This goes beyond not hitting women, which to me is really bad, but this extents to the children, or maybe someone with special needs, or even a fellow-man. My best friend from grammar school was getting beat up by a bunch of bullies when I was in first grade, I jumped in and saved him. We’ve been friends ever since, and now he’s protecting our rights as an American Soldier, he’s been in the Army for 20+ years. 

2. Do the Right Thing – Even when the right thing isn’t popular. Only a sociopath doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong.

3. Honesty – This is probably the hardest thing, yet the easiest thing at the same time. It’s easy to tell the truth, but sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes it’s hard to hurt someone with the truth. In the end it’s the best. I think Shakespeare said it best, “What tangles webs we weave, when we practice to deceive”

4.  Toughness of Spirit – What I mean by this is, you should be a rock amongst the crashing waves of trouble on the sea of life. I’m not saying be an unemotional robot (like me), what I’m saying is be able to handle your problems, responsibilities, but still be upbeat and positive. Don’t come with problems, but with solutions type of attitude. Accept failure as a part of life, and learn from it. Don’t be a coward, and face things…well like a man.

5. Keep Your Word – In all things. I think Al Pacino as Scarface put it best, “Two things I got in this life are my balls, and my word. I don’t break either for nobody”  Honor, Duty, Integrity, important words that all stem from keeping our word, saying we will do what we set out to do. This includes marriage, you gave the vow, now keep your word.  A man who will break the biggest vow of his life isn’t really a man to me.

6. A Penis – Well I guess you do kind of need one to be a man.

 

To Remove Suffering, One Must Remove Desire.

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, Philosophy with tags on June 21, 2011 by theerivs

My Dad asked me if I’m excited to be getting my own place, I told him, “No” . He then asked me what is wrong with you?

Many years back I had problems lots of them, and they all stemmed from my expectations, of life, of the people around me, and of myself. This led me to almost stick a gun to my head and pull the trigger.

Since then I learned to live in the moment, and try not to let expectations dictate my life. That today’s success may be tomorrows failure, or today’s failure may be tomorrows success.  It’s not accepting failure, that would be a negative attitude, mine is more let’s wait type of attitude, to see where the chips fall.

It’s not that I’m a robot, and don’t want stuff, that’s not what this is about. Life is a journey, and sometimes in that life you get bumps in the road, or even a tire gets flat. It’s about enjoying the journey, and not about getting somewhere.

There is a Zen saying which is one of my mantra’s “To Remove Suffering, One must Remove Desire”   These Desires are expectations of things, a want for a certain outcome. To me the outcome doesn’t matter, because there is one outcome to all this, the final outcome, the outcome of death.  It doesn’t matter what you have, but how you lived with what you have.

William Wallace, yeah brave heart guy said it best, “Every man dies. Very few men truly live”

Thats what I want to do is live a life worth something, to be remembered not for the guy worrying his life away, or breaking his back to live outside his means, or racing towards a goal he may never reach.

At the end I want people to say there lies River, he truly lived.