Monday Hangover

Friday I just stayed in and relaxed.

Saturday- It was Frumpy’s Birthday so we went to 191, I loathe 191 but I went cause Frumpy’s a good friend. It was an ok time, I have a problem letting my guard down in places. The thing that was very surprising to me, Nascar was getting alot of attention that night from the men, as to their quality I don’t know. At midnight the wanderlust hit, I headed to JWH had a few there, but then my cousin White Chocolate called, and it was hell no it’s on now. So we met at Teehans had a car bomb, saw my girl Dee. I really do have a crush on Dee, but she’s kind of a wierd girl, and very shady. From there me and cuz hit Durbins, where we did a bunch of shots with my cousins buddies, and this new bouncer kind of went off on my cousin for just patting him on the butt, which got me kind of pissed. Come on really?  I’d hate to have to embarrass the new bouncer by dragging him outside to beat his ass, and I know my cousin be right next to me stomping on him Goodfellas style. After Durbins closed, my cousin went home.  I wasn’t ready to go home, so I went to Kickoffs, and this guy I know tagged along, he was a douchebag, but I hate going alone. While I was there, I was just chilling and on the TV was the Knife show, showing knives that you can buy, and there was this blue knife up for sale. A girl walks up to me and goes, “Why is the knife show on the TV?”  I go, “I don’t know I think the blue knife really would bring out your eyes…as you stab someone”  She laughed at that, I met her group of friends which were all nice. I left Kickoffs, droped douchebag off, then hit Olympic Star. That same girl with the group of friends with her, they asked me to join them to eat. We had a few laughs, then I called it a night.

Sunday –  Ok I got to admit, I shit my pants in the morning.  I was laying there in kind of half asleep. I farted really bad, and then in my half a daze, WHAT THE FUCK, something wet. I haven’t shit in my pants in over 25 years, wtf really. I popped up toss the underwear in the garbage, and I had the beer shits something fierce, I was like old boy in Dumb and Dumber.

With that unpleasantness behind me, no pun intended. I went out to lunch with my Grandfather, then I hit JWH with my friend Jackass, and the German. Thanks to shots, we got out of control pretty fast. Doing shit like using this pan holder, and saying it was a cock warmer. Jackass hugging everyone and giving them a kiss goodbye.   Geek Princess put some lipgloss on Jackass, and that taught her when Jackass kissed her white jeans with the lip gloss, and left a stain. Good thing she didn’t have a knife.  It got a little wierd, when Geek Princesses Ex showed up out of no where.  I stopped by Durbins, saw my boy Don, and the bartender who I will call Sherona, which was nice talked to them a bit. I had to call it a night early or I wouldn’t be going to work today.


3 Responses to “Monday Hangover”

  1. Nascar was quite shocked by all of the attention, too! It was not high quality though. Any guy who tells me I am beautiful and then in the next breath tells me he wants to f*&k me is not high quality, in my opinion. Oh well.

  2. You pooh’d yourself. Ha!

    • theerivs Says:

      I’m sad to say I did, and ruined my record. I actually prided myself on my bowel, and bladder control no more, that feather was snatched away from me.

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