Middle Aged Man

There was a skit on Saturday Night Live about a super hero dude named Middle Aged Man, when asked about his father, Old Aged Man what the difference was, Middle- Aged Man replies, “I know how to program a VCR”

Another friend turns 40, I dwell on my ever growing age, and it blows my fucking mind. It really does. Not to the fact that “Oh I’m getting older”, more like I fucking survived this long. All my high school friends from back in the day always thought I would be the first one to die. Actually when one of my friends died many years ago, another friend looked at me and went, “Always thought you’d be the first”

I use to live life very recklessly, gambling, drinking, drugs were a way of life, and not only did I dabble I would seek danger out. I would go to the worst neighborhoods, drive around, and dare someone to fuck with me. I remember getting out of Cook County, on 26th and California at around Midnight, and roaming around there until my ride came to pick me up. I remember sitting there on the curb eating a Hostess pie like it was a picnic area, and not one of the worst parts of town.

I have no fear of my fellow man, for pain and suffering means nothing to me, nor am I afraid of death, I do not fear that which I can not avoid. I don’t even fear God, I will answer to him when my time comes. No,  My biggest fear in life is dyeing in my bed of old age. I fear weakness, I fear being a burden on people….

That and spiders.




2 Responses to “Middle Aged Man”

  1. Spiders?!?!

    What is with guys and spiders?

    • theerivs Says:

      Not so much fear them, as loathe and hate them with a passion. Actually I hate all insect lifeforms, and destroy on sight. Several things happened in my childhood which done this.

      1. Stung at the age of 3 by a bee.
      2. Watched Creepshow when I was young with the bug scene, creeped me the fuck out, still does.
      3. Watched to many National Geographic type shows as a youth about insect laying eggs in mother fuckers.
      4. They are completely inhuman, they want my to enslave me.

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