Time Flies

My youngest nephew turned 18 today. I am in a bit of a shock. When my nieces and nephews were younger, I had to watch them alot because my brother had them weekends, and well he had to work on weekends alot. So I like to think I had a small part in forming their warped little minds.

The youngest we’ll call Gary for the sake of this blog, was always marching to a different toon then the others. I think one of the funniest stories I have with him involved is this one.

It was a crisp early winter morning  Sunday, and I was asleep in my little beat up bed, my door was closed as the kids were over, and I didn’t want to be disturbed. Then I was awoken by my door being busted in. “You Mother Fucking Fat Piece of Shit” my brother screamed. In my daze I was extremely confused, “Wha?” I replied. My brother yelled, “You ate all the Pop Tarts you son of a bitch”  I began to think, was I that drunk last night, that I ate pop tarts and didn’t even know it, but I didn’t know we even HAD pop tarts, so I go, “What Pop Tarts?”  My brother continues to explain, “The Pop Tarts for the kids, you ate all of them”  I screamed back, “I didn’t even know we had pop tarts, but here’s 10 bucks for new pop tarts, leave me the fuck alone”

Well the part of the story I didn’t know is my brother went to get the kids the Pop Tarts, and when discovering they were all gone, asked the kids where they went. Little Gary about 4 at this time in a funny little kid voice goes, “I think Uncle Chris ate them”  thus setting my brother into a tizzy. Upon later investigation my brother found all these half eaten pop tarts under the couch turns, out little Gary was taking a bite of each one then hiding it for later, then when questioned about it, lied, and ratted me out.

The little devious bastard, I love it. Well he’s 18 now so I’m going to kick his ass for it.  As for me today I feel just a little bit older.

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