Archive for the Barlife Category

Monday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife, River with tags on December 19, 2011 by theerivs

Friday – I went to a friends kids play, and to be honest I thought it was going to be like an hour, an hour and a half at the most. So I didn’t eat any dinner, thought I would grab a bite to eat later. Well to my chagrin the thing was 2.5, damn near 3 hours long. Let’s just say my stomach was growling like a lion who hasn’t eaten in weeks. My friend’s kid did a great job, she didn’t need any help with the lines, she was entertaining. The other kids were let’s for the sake of being nice say…ok. My friends kid was a bright light in a large dark void of mediocrity.  Then hit the Olympic Star, and surprisingly my niece was there randomly. We got a chance to talk which was nice.

Saturday – I was feeling tired, I had to work, and do my usual mom chores. I did grab some sushi with the Ginny it was nice.

Sunday – Went to Mass, then to watch the Bears game at JWH. It was a good time spent with my friends. I saw the German there, we were civil to each other, but the cold shoulder was there. I felt bad, but there was nothing I could do. It’s a shame.

yeah not much of a crazy weekend, but hey these things happen.

Diary of a Bouncer

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife, General Life, River with tags , on December 16, 2011 by theerivs

I’m back to bouncing, one might ask why because I don’t have a huge need of money, so why would I take it up again.

1. Old School Camaraderie – My friend who I used to work with in the Blue Iguana days, and my best friend Jackass work here. It’s just great to be part of something with these guys. Also it’s nice to be part of a team, and at JW Holsteins that what I view all of us as. Bouncers, Bartenders, Waitresses we’re a team. Also in the bar business I really respect Darby, I hope I can make a positive impact to his business, and do him proud. I look forward to forging new stories of good times.

2. Money – I like it. I don’t do shit on Thursdays anyway, why not make a little.

3. Paid to be social – I like meeting new people, and being a part of customer service. What most bouncers don’t understand, sure we’re there to keep the peace, and make sure things go smoothly. We’re also there for customer service, and to make people “feel” safe.

4. Power – Ok there isn’t much power to being a bouncer, but there is a little, and I get off on it.

5. Thrill – Let’s face it…computers is not a real exciting job. You never get a steel chair to the head, while checking someones computer for viruses.

6. I miss it – I guess you can say it’s in my blood, I’ve been doing it for half my life. I started when I was 21, and I’m 39 now. Once in a while I miss the good stuff, and sometimes even the bad stuff.

7. Roadhouse – If I’m bouncing… It doesn’t seem gay that I watch this movie all the time, quote lines, and masturbate to it…wait that’s too much info…never mind about this one.

Tuesday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife, River with tags on December 6, 2011 by theerivs

Thursday – I started bouncing again, and it wasn’t that bad, but it was a little slow. I really do miss the bouncing gig, not so much for the money, though money is good. I like it for other aspects.

Friday-  I just stayed in with the Ginny. just watched a movie.

Saturday- It was Stitches party, and I really let loose. I started hammering the Black Haus shots early, and man oh man at some point I lost control. I ended up at Teehans for my other buddies bday, Snaga.  After a few Car Bombs I don’t really remember what came next. I do remember being at Durbins. I do remember telling a waitress at Olympic Star I was going to get my nipples pierced. Why I have no clue. I wish I could write down some antics, but I don’t really remember…Stoopid Booze.  

Sunday – I had to get up at 730am, still drunk to bring my car in for brakes. I was still hammered when I woke up. The rest of the day I was so messed up, I hardly drank at the bar for the Bears game, after which I  passed out. Which in turn pissed off my girlfriend, cause she didn’t know where I was for hours.  A couple funny things hear is I wore Commandos Pantyhose on my head, and told everyone as I walked into JWH that this was a robbery. or when I wore my monkey mask after Commando called me an ape.

Monday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife, River with tags on November 7, 2011 by theerivs

Friday – I wanted to go out with the German to discuss the Ginny situation in person, but he never called me back.  I’ll give him his space, He probably hates me which I don’t blame him. I remember at Jamesons we had a talk about this subject, and he told me if Ginny was going out with me he would be happy. I told him at the time we were just friends, which at this point me and Ginny are just friends still, but I emailed him recently that it might lead to more, or might not. I just wanted to prepare German, that maybe Ginny is going to be around a bit more. I emailed him because I had no time this week, and I wanted to snub the rumors. My tactic we’re wrong I admit, but my heart was in the right place. My point is I think he is harboring more feelings then I thought, and he didn’t really mean what he said at Jamesons. To be brutally honest I had feelings for Gina a long, long time ago, and let Jackass date her, and the German, and I didn’t care because either a girl wants to be with you..or doesn’t. The only person you can control is you.

Here is what’s called a Zen Koan, it’s a story that is suppose to give you a little lesson, and enlighten you. When I am pining away for someone I think of this Koan.  

Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.

Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

“Come on, girl” said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”


“I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”

I still needed  drink, so I met Geek Princess out for a couple. Well….a Couple, I mean a few. Well we ended up staying out all night, and getting White Castles.  

Saturday – I had plans with Ginny at 8, but me and Jackass had an old friend  in from Arizona, so I tried to have my cake and eat it too…. Well like Icurus I reached to close to the sun, and got burned…real bad.  It was real good to see this friend, and I laughed real hard at all the good times we had. Then my and Jackass got to drinking, and Tallegdega came out too. Lets just say there are ALOT of memory gaps, and I woke up in my bed, not know how I got there, and how there was O.S. in my fridge. One of the containers had just 2 mushrooms in it. Was I full, and wanted to save the two mushrooms or something.  I have no clue.

Sunday – I rose from the grave, and had to go to the cemetary with my grandfather to see my grandmothers grave, and go to a special mass.  I just chilled the rest of the day, and I’m pissed at myself pulling into my garage I got the angle wrong, and scratched my shit up.

Also Commando lost her grandfather this weekend, My heart, thoughts, and prayers goes out to her. Her, and her family are such good people it pains me to see them hurt.

Monday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife, Pure Insanity, River with tags on October 31, 2011 by theerivs

First off Happy Halloween Kiddies.

Friday – I just stayed home and relaxed.

Saturday – I went to a house party with the Ginny. She dressed as Snow White, and she does actually make a pretty good snow white. I was a little low on the funds so going to a house party was really good on the pocket book if you know what I mean.  I dressed in my Nun outfit, took my friends advice put some socks instead of tissue in there, tried to make them bigger. The Ginny’s friend made a gladiator armor with beer cans, I have to say I was impressed. It was a fun time meeting new people, but I had to head home to JWH, and Durbs for one. Everyone there got a kick out of my costume.  Geek Princess and Nascar we’re the only one’s out. Geek Princess was out of control, I thank god my titties were fake, they would of been all bruised the fuck up, and Nascar was a little out of control too. They both were given one hour. went out

Sunday – Went out with my grandpa. Then went out for a few with Jackass, Torino, and Commando. Even Frumpy was there for a couple. We all headed to JWH, and Frumpy went home as usual. I decided to wear my viking helmet there. It was good for a couple laughs. I went home early.

Birthday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife, General Life, My demons, Philosophy, Pure Insanity, River, Stupidity with tags on September 28, 2011 by theerivs

I like to celebrate my birthday for a few days, to me it’s a high holiday. It’s not a celebration of my birth, it’s a celbration of surviving another year.

Wow 39, it’s still mind boggling to me, one step away from 40. Who knew I would see this age, and be where I’m at today.

Friday – I went to an all you can eat seafood buffet, holy shit I hit it hard, too hard. I think I overdid it so much, I still haven’t normalized. The buffet was on the riverboat, so I did a little gambling, won a bit of money, nothing fantastic.

Saturday – It was my Pimp and Hoes Party, and what a great time it was. My female friends all “Ho’d” out for me, and even some of the guys got into the act. It was the complete opposite of my last birthday, which was spent in the hospital. I just wish I could remember more, I remember stuffing Jackass in my trunk and going to Kickoff’s, when I opened the trunk and Jackass popped out the people next to my car was stunned. I have to admit, I did smoke some weed that night as well. On my birthday or around I tend to get a little goofy, and I had a hankering for some weed. I use to smoke it all the time back in the day. Well the end result was me passing out in Jackass parking lot.

Sunday – Running on one hours sleep, I showered, and came back to start drinking again, I was hurting but I kept going until 11pm, The funniest thing this day was Jackass lighting his farts in the beer garden.

Monday – My actual birthday, just pretty much rested, had a nice huge steak dinner, then went out for some drinks. Nothing to outlandish, but when I went to Durbins, a girl there went ballistic on me, saying I knew this girl, and stuck up for this girl, whom she hated. She was mother fucking me, and calling me all sorts of names. I looked at the bartender and went, “My fan club is here”  The bartender tossed the girl out.

Tuesday – just relaxed and enjoyed my day off.

Well that’s about it. I just want to thank all my friends for making my birthday one to remember for a long time, and I hope I bring a little fun into their life, as much as they bring fun into mine.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife with tags on September 23, 2011 by theerivs

Welp Monday the 26th is my Birthday, and I won’t be back until next week Wendesday. Here’s a Picture to look at while I’m gone.