Archive for Birthday

It’s my Birthday

Posted in General Life with tags on September 26, 2014 by theerivs

booooooo…I’m talking to you from beyond the grave.  LOL!

Wow I would of been 42 today.

I wonder what I missed.  Jackass get married?  RJ having a baby, or close to it?  I sure do miss you guys. i miss and love you all.


Did someone piss on my grave? I smell something funny. 🙂

Fuck I’m Forty

Posted in General Life with tags on September 26, 2012 by theerivs

Holy shit I made it to 40. How the fuck did that happen. I must redouble my efforts and drink more.

The big 4-0

Posted in General Life, My demons, River with tags on September 6, 2012 by theerivs

Well every birthday I do a bit of freaking out. I have real umbrage with growing older. I don’t really want to grow older. Being old to me represents weakness, your body starts breaking down, and when you get to old you become a burden to others…and we ALL know how I hate that.

On the other hand I’m in disbelief I am still alive, and kicking. Even among my older friends from back in the day, they are mildly shocked. I lived a life on the edge. Walking 26th and California at 2am, eating a hostess pie with not a care in the world does take a little bit of insanity.

So the build up begins and wierd strange thoughts go in and out of my head. If I seem wierd or erratic it’s because I’m fucking freaking out over the fact I’m turning 40, and I’m wondering how the fuck I managed that.

Going Commando

Posted in General Life, River with tags , on February 6, 2012 by theerivs

It’s Commando’s Burfday today, and I just wanted to say as a person with a vagina she’s ok in my book. Seriously though she is a good friend, always supporting my decisions, even the shitty ones, always has a word of advice for me, or a shoulder to cry on (if I ever did cry).  There’s not enough good things I could say about her, for the words fall utterly short of the reality.

The reality is she is a good person, with a good heart, and I wish her the best birthday ever, but I hope all her dreams come true, and thanks for being my friend.

Another Year Older…Not So Much Wiser

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, My demons, River, Stupidity, Things that disgust me. with tags , , on September 21, 2011 by theerivs

As my birthday approaches once more I tend to freak out a bit. Hopefully this year will be better than last year.  Why is it that birthday’s get me all fucked up and in a weird place you might ask. Well I’ll tell you.

1. I hate Old Age – Old age to me is when you become a burden on your loved ones, and society. I don’t really want to grow old for that reason, to me life isn’t about the quantity, but the quality.

2. I have no idea what I’m doing – I really never had a plan for my life, still don’t. Every birthday I sit there and go “What Now?”

3. Don’t have the tools to be an adult – I really hate reponsibility, oh sure I can handle it when it comes up, but my natural state is to avoid it like the fucking plague.

4. Not so much the when, but how I die – Sort of an old age thing again, but I don’t want to die sickly and in bed, and my days of dyeing in a hail of gunfire are quickly passing.

5. Wasted Talent – In my family we have a little joke, we say to each other, “You had all the tools.”  Our fathers would say that to us boys, meaning we could of been great at football, or hockey because we had all the tools, but we wasted it. Sometimes I wish I worked harder, and actually had some goals. They say the biggest sin is wasted talent.

6. Peter Pan Complex – No I don’t  like to wear green tights, and hang around boys and faeries, I just don’t really want to be an adult, but here we are in middle age. 

7. I don’t really know – I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I overstayed my welcome in life. Like what the fuck am I still doing here. Some of my friends have passed, yet I am still here. One time a friend looked at me and goes, ” I always thought you would be the first to go.”  I replied, “No shit so did I”


Posted in General Life, River with tags , on March 11, 2011 by theerivs

I really wasn’t going to say nothing because The German is a private person, hell if it wasn’t for someone with lose lips I would of missed his birthday.  Then as I was thinking about it this morning, I decided I would be remiss if I didn’t say anything here.

A few days ago was German’s birthday, but tonight we honor the man with a party. If ever there was a man who deserved honoring it’s this guy. He’s a quiet, sort of man who is humble, and worries himself to death caring for other people. I’m proud to say German is one of my best friends. Hell any guy who reads the crap I put on this blog as religious as he does deserves all the accolades I can bestow.

To me The German has alot going on, and he’s worked hard for it. He’s got his own place, a nice car, the mother fucker plays guitar. I respect the hell out of him, and thinks he deserves alot of happiness. He’s so money, and he doesn’t even know it.

Probably my biggest mistake in recent history was with the German. There’s a saying “Nice guys finish last”, but I’m determined to make sure the German who is one of the nicest guys I know not to finish last, if I have to kill and bury everyone else in the race.  There is this girl that I knew for years, let’s just say her choice in men is pretty craptastic. So she recently broke up with her latest douchebag man, and I thought she was ready for a genuine nice guy. So I set her up with the German, and for awhile it was going great, but then they broke up. It caused, and is still causing German alot of grief, and that’s never was my intention. If I could take back my actions in this regard I probably would.  That is the last time I intervene in people’s lives though, and set people up. My career as a matchmaker was short lived indeed.

Like I said tonight I honor my friend, the only way I know how and that is to share some good times together, and if tomorrow if German isn’t cursing my name…then I failed in that endeavor.

Monday Hangover

Posted in General Life with tags , on October 4, 2010 by theerivs

Welp My Birthday wasn’t to fun this year. I started from feeling a little sick, to being pretty fucked up in the Hospital.

So it started Last Saturday, I was feeling just really shitty, and tired. I thought a good nap would help, It didn’t… I tried to party a bit. I didn’t make it long .  So I returned home.

On Sunday my actual birthday all I did was sleep…literally that is all I did. That and shake uncontrollably.

Monday night my brother convinced me to go to Urgent Care. They wanted to admit me to the hospital for what turns out to be an infection I had. I was like. Hell no, after I talk to my regular doctor.  So Tuesday Morning my regular doctor agreed with the doctor in the box, and told me to go into the hospital, I would only be there a day or two tops. Ok I trust him.

So in I go, turns out the antibiotics they we’re pumping me full was doing damage to my kidneys. Nice huh? So my stay was extended a bit.

Well needless to say there was no permanent damage, and that I am on the road to recovery. It’s just a shitty way to celebrate a birthday.

Birthday Wish

Posted in Art of Man with tags , on September 24, 2010 by theerivs

Well Sunday the 26th marks the 38th cycle the earth has travelled around the sun since I crawled out of my Mommy’s vagina. I think there is some sort of tradition of  a Birthday wish….well here’s mine.

My Peter Pan Complex

Posted in My demons, River with tags , , on September 10, 2010 by theerivs

I have a Peter Pan complex…..I wear green tights, and think good thoughts.

I don’t take getting older very gracefully.  As my birthday draws ever nearer I may appear to get a little…well….stranger. To me to grow old, means another step of weakness, of being a burden, of losing my pep in the step if you will.  Coupled with the fact that I really don’t have anything tangible in my life, sure I got some great friends, alot of great memories, and alot of good accomplishments….but in the dark of the night, when I am alone my demons haunt me.

The problem is because of my past sins, I am left with some challenges that continue to face me to this day. I mean I really didn’t want to get older, and led the lifestyle that by all accounts…I really shouldn’t be alive now…Hear I am though still standing.   Now mind you, I don’t blame anyone for the life I have led, and that’s what kills me the most. It’s all my fault. Though I have made efforts to change my life for the better, sometimes…well sometimes it feels like nothing has really changed. I have always had the feeling like I was trapped, I was a slave to some fate, or destiny I can not comprehend. Also I don’t have much to look forward to, most people might have kids that are growing older, or they have someone special in their life. I don’t.  Every Birthday is a haunting reminder of this.

Don’t worry I’ll get through it the way I normally do…lots of booze.

Happy Birthday #1

Posted in General Life, River with tags , on April 20, 2010 by theerivs

Some Man Meat for #1 Bday

There is an old Japanese proverb that says, “If you don’t know a man’s character, just look to his friends”  I have some of the greatest friends in the world. Well it’s #1’s birthday, and I wanted to write something special for her. Let’s start at the beginning shall we.

The first time I met #1 was at a bar. Go figure. I remember it was a slow night, and I walked up to the bar, and I remember I said something extremely witty. Well I thought it was anyway. I don’t remember what #1 said, but it was a smart ass comment, I do remember looking to see who said it, and looking at this girl dressed like a biker chick, she had a bandanna on her head. I was thinking, “Who the fuck this dyke biker bitch think she is”  After that I would see her at the  bars, it took me a while to commit her name to memory simple cause, well I really didn’t give a shit. So I just called her, and her friends Jenny. Well as the months, turn into years we got to know each other better. I found out #1 had some health issues, and that’s why she wore the bandanna, but I maintain she is still a dyke biker bitch at heart. I have to say though I couldn’t ask for a better friend than her.

Why is she #1? Is it because she supports all my endeavors in the writing field, because she is probably the #1 commenter on this site. So why is she #1, well one time she got so hammered she said she loved my writing so much, she would totally blow me. I think that was the first time I was struck speechless in a long time. Alot of people say they like my writing, but never did I have someone say they would blow me because they liked it so much. Yes that’s why she is #1.

Sure #1 is aggravating, smartass, uncouth broad. There’s a side though that not many people get to see, that I am privileged to see. Inside that rough no-nonsense shield she puts up is a sensitive, caring individual that really cares about the people she loves. It shows every time I come over to fix her computer, she really tries to make me happy. I appreciate her efforts, though I make fun of her. It really touches me, some bastards I fix their computer don’t even ask if I want a glass of water. It shows every time she texts me, or asks me how I am doing, and she really wants to know how the hell I am doing. Though we make fun of each other, and sometimes laugh at each others expense. We know that when the chips are down, we got each others back. That even though she whacks me in the nuts, or I titty punch her. We care about each other, and that there isn’t any other person I know that will be there for me in the bad times, as well as good. I hope she knows that I will be there for her as well.

All this would endear me to her, but I am writing this not out of love, or caring. I am writing this because I respect the hell out of #1. Like me, she is a warrior. Life has given her some pretty big punches, but she hasn’t been knocked out yet. She gets back up, and she keeps punching. Giving life’s woes the big middle finger. I know there are times when she feels down, and maybe a little overwhelmed, but not for long she climbs right back into that saddle and attacks life with a gusto, and zeal that makes me smile whenever I see her. She is a single mother trying to do the best she can with what she can. Hell I can’t even take care of myself.  Even when I pick on her, she doesnt take shit from me, she gives it right back. That’s why I respect her, care for her, and love her.

So when you don’t know my character, just take a look at #1 she’s got enough for both of us. Happy Birthday #1, may today be special for you.