Party with River Consent Form

As a joke with a coworker, I did this consent form.

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PARTY WITH RIVER CONSENT FORM

 

 

To whom it may concern,

 

          So you want to party with the River. First you need to sign the consent form.

 

I, ____________________________ am of sound mind and body willingly engage with River, after hours activities/early morning activites which may lead to Brain cells dyeing, Liver, and/or Kidney damage, and a multiple other side effects. River is also not liable, or responsible for any of the following.

 

–          Lost items, and or respect from photos ending up on facebook/myspace/youtube.

–          Waking up with a complete stranger who might be ugly enough to be considered other then human.

–          For the bacon at breakfast, not being crispy. Turkey Bacon will be supplied upon request.

–          Waking up in an unknown location.

–          If Waking up in Jail, it is guaranteed that River will be there to keep you company. If your female, River will still keep you company but you may never speak of why River was in a wig, and dress. Cause he probably won’t know why.

–          River is not responsible for any fees, or fines associated with bail, court, or lawyers, but he will lie under oath if he has to.

–          If there is a dead body involved, River will help you move it, and bury it. River will not move any furniture at any time however.

 

 

 

I the undersigned agree to waive the aforementioned rights, and liabilties of River.

 

 

Consentee __________________________________

 

 

 

Parent or Guardian _______________________________

 

 

 

Priest, or Pastor __________________________________

 

 

 

Next of Kin ____________________________________

Interesting development.

So I use to do the whole internet dating thing back in the day, well after my run in with some psychos I don’t do it anymore. I do still have my profiles on some dating sites though, and once in a blue moon I get a shot across the bow. Some girl that finds me interesting, and wants to chat or something like that. I usually ignore these types of things, cause well I don’t feel like having a tire slashed…again.

The night before last though one came across that piqued my interest. She played video games. So I decided what the hell. Blew off the dust, and fired up the Yahoo Messenger.  Talked to her for a bit. It was nice. I talked to her again last night, and saw some pics. She’s really nice looking.  Alas I don’t think nothing will come of it, maybe a new friend. She lives all the way in Peoria, and though it would be cool to have a girlfriend into video games, and an uber geek. I think the novelty would wear off quickly, I may be a geek, but I’m a rare breed of geek. I need to go out, and be social, and yes Mike, go get stinking drunk. ALL THE TIME!. LOL!

We’ll see. Fate is a strange mistress.