Archive for March, 2009

I decided to close this blog….

Posted in Uncategorized on March 31, 2009 by theerivs

I had enough of my wicked ways, it’s time for a change. I’m going to close this blog, and start a new blog with my new attitude. I hope you all stay for my new lifestyle.

My New Blog

Take care all.

Haunted Tales

Posted in General Life on March 31, 2009 by theeriver

I don’t run into the supernatural all that often, but I do have a couple stories from the vault to share with you. 

Back in the days of yore, I use to work at Governors State University. I was in charge of the computer labs. In between semesters I had to make sure that the machines were cleaned of unwanted programs, viruses, etc.,etc..  I wouldn’t have much time, so I would usually work into the early morning hours sometimes.

It was a brisk fall night, about 2am in the morning. The school is very eerie when it’s empty. Darkened halls with just a dab of light to make the shadows play. From the lab I could see the lake behind GSU, where they had these orange fluorescent lights casting an other worldly light on the whole scene outside.

I was working in the lab. I had just one light in the lab on, the rest of the lab was pitch black. Now I was working on my last machine, when I’m done with a machine I turned it off, sort of to let myself know it was done. The machine I was working on was the only one on.

Then I look up, two rows in front of me a machine turns on. I thought that was weird, but I kept working, maybe some sort of short in the system powered it on. About 5 minutes later, a machine a row back from me turned on.  I’m thinking to myself, must be some sort of feature I never heard of. About 5 minutes after that, a machine about 4 rows in front of me turned on by itself.  Now I’m getting a little spooked. My mind of start playing tricks on me, or running away with itself. I thought I heard something in the darkened room down the hall. I just got up, left everything as is. Locked the lab, and briskly walked the hell out of there.

In the light of the next day. I checked those machines out. No auto-on features, or anything of any sort to turn the machine on by itself. In fact, the power buttons themselves we kind of hard to press to turn the machine on in the first place, so it couldn’t of been a vibration. The computers themselves were hooked up to the same power surge protectors, so why would the other machines turn on if it was a short, or a power issue.

Did I have a run in with the supernatural? I don’t know. All I know is I’m hard pressed as to explain off what happened that night.

Monday Hangover

Posted in Barlife, General Life, River with tags on March 30, 2009 by theerivs

Well after the Thursday I had, one would think I would take a break and relax. Nope not I.

Friday I went to JWH, and got me some free pizza, and a few drinks. Then I stopped at Oak Forest Bowl, to see my Cousin, and her Boyfriend who sings in a band. He is really good, but it’s so hard for bands. My Aunt and Uncle were out too. It’s always nice to see them. I get a kick out of seeing my relatives in a bar.  It’s like their real people.

Saturday…dear lord. I think the reason I’m going to hell is not from my own corrupted soul, it’s because I take so much enjoyment from the corruption of others. When I see a friend debasing themselves, it brings a smile to my face.  Saturday a friend tossed a party. Bob, and his girlfriend Jenny.  Bob tosses great parties I gotta say. He opens up his doors to his knuckle head friends, and we always have a good time. I can’t thank him enough.

Anywho it’s kind of a blur because before I even got to the party, I drank a pint of whiskey, and a few drinks at Durbins.  So at the party, I don’t know why I got into the Dog Cage, but I did. Probably because I’m an idiot. I’m sure the pictures will show. Then there was the Dance off. Me and Jackass had a disagreement, and in our crew there’s only one way to settle things. A dance battle. I don’t know I was so hammered that this time. I just flopped around the floor like a fish, but hell I won. Audience judging for the win.  So as the Whiskey bottle got more, and more empty the stupider, and stupider I got. Yea that was me giving lap dances to the girls, and I think to one guy too. He had a 70’s porn stache. I couldn’t help myself. LOL!

As for my friends, they were a little out of control. The Jenny’s were making out with strange guys, and each other. I swear my female friends get more lesbionic the more drunk they get.  I’m sure the pictures I get back, won’t be in any Christmas cards soon.

After passing out at 6am, I woke up and headed off to work at 10am. Which was pure hell because I thought it would take me only a couple hours, took me six. I was dyeing.

So that was my weekend. Everyone got a little nutty, so I wasn’t the only one this weekend who’s liver hated them. Which is something I like immensely.

1 year old

Posted in River with tags on March 29, 2009 by theerivs

My first post on this blog was one year ago. 3/28/08. I want to thank everyone that has followed along with my life this past year.  We all had some ups and downs. We lost some friends, we have gained a few new ones.  We had some drunken times, and some all to sober times. You came with me down memory lane with my tales, and diary stories. 

According to WordPress to date 

I have a Total views of – 13,205 (probably most belonging to Sherry, and Mike)

My most popular post was “what attracts guys to women” at 152 views.

 Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

Why do bad things happen to good people.

Posted in General Life on March 27, 2009 by theeriver

There’s a girl I met many years ago, I’ll call her Kiddo.  I met Kiddo while working at the Blue Iguana.  She used to sing Karoake, and unlike the rest of  the drunken sludge of humanity.  She sang like a professional, and she would bring a smile to my face. I told myself I’m going to get to know this girl better. Over the years I did. Me and her had some fun times, and some bad ones too. Even the bad times bring a little smile to my face to remember what big idiots we were sometimes.   I watched her grow from a girl into a fine young woman. It kills me I won’t be seeing  her get married (I got a free trip to Florida that weekend)  Her fiancee is just like her, fun, friendly, and just a good guy.

Over the years I had the pleasure of meeting her whole family. Her Sister, Milkbone, the biggest smartass I know, but that tough exterior doesn’t mean crap to me. i know deep down that she’s just uses it to hide a huge heart.  Kiddo’s father, this guy is salt of the earth, he would give you the shirt off his back if I asked.  Lastly but not least Kiddo’s Mom, she always made me laugh, always had a smile on her face, always made me feel at home. 

Kiddo’s mom is sick, very sick. The whole family is hurting. These people are such good people, it breaks my heart. To see them go through this.  There are no words I can say to ease their pain. The only thing they have is hope, faith, and love.  3 most powerful forces on this earth.

Though I am not a religous man, I bowed my head and prayed the Lord would ease their pain, to see Kiddo’s mom through this trial safely, and hope he hears the prayers of one such as I .

P.S. The only reason I think Kiddo is getting married, is cause she sucks at Rummy, and wanted to bring in a Ringer…there I said it. Now what?

Friday Hangover

Posted in General Life, My demons, River with tags on March 27, 2009 by theeriver

So normally I don’t drink during the weekdays. Ususally I’m a good boy Monday through Thursday. Ah not yesterday. I don’t know had a bug up my ass or what. I went drinking. Well it’s dollar bottles, so it’s cheap. I went to JWH, it was nuts with all the college kids, but I felt like Maurice Chevalier singing “Thank Heaven, for Little Girls.” …Yea alot younglings there.  Then I went to Teehans, and Durbins. I got to admit I got a little snookered. Even called my Cuz, when Changes came on.  Went to new bar Baileys cause their opened to 3am. As I was drinking there, a couple Jenny’s were there, and they were talking to me. Then this older guy around his mid 50’s came up to them started manhandled them, and he gave me a look.  I just snapped.   I go, “What the fuck you looking at old man?”  It was on from there. I kinda draw a blank, but I remember telling him, “To back the fuck out the door before I break his hip.!”  It took eight people to hold me back. I finally listened to reason, and went out the back door outside to cool down.

Yea cuz…Angry guy’s bigger uglier cousin Angrier guy showed up.

So after that I needed a drink, I went to Dendrino’s, then stopped at Olympic Star for a little breakfast.

As I write this I am running on no sleep, with a Dendrinos bracelet on, and I think I’m still kind of drunk.

End of an Era

Posted in Barlife, General Life, River with tags on March 26, 2009 by theeriver

Well if you live anywhere near the South Side, you probably heard that the South Side Irish Parade is no more. How true is that. Very True.

I who only went a few years will miss this event for even though it was a drunken debauchery of a time. It was always a good time. I and my friends never cause trouble, or did anything to harm the neighborhood. We would actually buy things from the people who dwelled there who we selling stuff like hats and such.  I would always be respectful to those around me. 

Some things I will remember.

  – Such as shotgunning a beer with complete strangers.

  – Sharing a hot dog with a strange girl

  – Running into people, I would of never thought of running into at the parade, old friends, and newer friends.

  – Going to the Outhouses with a huge jester hat, and running into my coworkers.

  – The Bus Trips with a bunch of other crazy drunk people, I know and love.

There are a ton of other memories, and it’s just saddens me that this is another thing that is gone, that I truely enjoyed. Though it might be resurrected somewhere else (Tinley Irish Parade hint..hint..). It will never be the same.

Party with River Consent Form

Posted in Barlife with tags on March 25, 2009 by theerivs

As a joke with a coworker, I did this consent form.





To whom it may concern,


          So you want to party with the River. First you need to sign the consent form.


I, ____________________________ am of sound mind and body willingly engage with River, after hours activities/early morning activites which may lead to Brain cells dyeing, Liver, and/or Kidney damage, and a multiple other side effects. River is also not liable, or responsible for any of the following.


          Lost items, and or respect from photos ending up on facebook/myspace/youtube.

          Waking up with a complete stranger who might be ugly enough to be considered other then human.

          For the bacon at breakfast, not being crispy. Turkey Bacon will be supplied upon request.

          Waking up in an unknown location.

          If Waking up in Jail, it is guaranteed that River will be there to keep you company. If your female, River will still keep you company but you may never speak of why River was in a wig, and dress. Cause he probably won’t know why.

          River is not responsible for any fees, or fines associated with bail, court, or lawyers, but he will lie under oath if he has to.

          If there is a dead body involved, River will help you move it, and bury it. River will not move any furniture at any time however.




I the undersigned agree to waive the aforementioned rights, and liabilties of River.



Consentee __________________________________




Parent or Guardian _______________________________




Priest, or Pastor __________________________________




Next of Kin ____________________________________

Interesting development.

Posted in Computers, General Life, River with tags on March 25, 2009 by theeriver

So I use to do the whole internet dating thing back in the day, well after my run in with some psychos I don’t do it anymore. I do still have my profiles on some dating sites though, and once in a blue moon I get a shot across the bow. Some girl that finds me interesting, and wants to chat or something like that. I usually ignore these types of things, cause well I don’t feel like having a tire slashed…again.

The night before last though one came across that piqued my interest. She played video games. So I decided what the hell. Blew off the dust, and fired up the Yahoo Messenger.  Talked to her for a bit. It was nice. I talked to her again last night, and saw some pics. She’s really nice looking.  Alas I don’t think nothing will come of it, maybe a new friend. She lives all the way in Peoria, and though it would be cool to have a girlfriend into video games, and an uber geek. I think the novelty would wear off quickly, I may be a geek, but I’m a rare breed of geek. I need to go out, and be social, and yes Mike, go get stinking drunk. ALL THE TIME!. LOL!

We’ll see. Fate is a strange mistress.

Read your Bible

Posted in Philosophy with tags on March 24, 2009 by theeriver

“Even the devil can quote scripture to suit his purpose” – Shakespeare


Ok, I’m not a religous man, hell I’m one goat sacrifice away from being a full blown devil worshipper. I got to say though The Bible is really an awesome book. Where else are you going to find as love, violence, and death then in the Bible. You have not only some awesome tales, you have some nice tidbits to live by.

It has philosophy in it, it has things in it that really make you think. Some of the stories just blow you away, just go ahead read Revelations.

Personally I like the old language with Thous, and Therfores it adds charactor to the text, but there are very plain english versions out there now. I suggest you read some, for it may not be the Word of God, but it’s still a pretty cool book.  The greatest thing is when one of these Bible Thumping Christians read you a riot act for your wicked ways, you can pick up a stone, hand it to them, look them in the eye, and go “Ye without sin, cast the first stone.”