Archive for July, 2011

Photo Friday

Posted in Art of Man with tags , on July 29, 2011 by theerivs

I don’t care if she is bat shit crazy, I don’t care if her music is a pile of shit. All I know she is sexy, in a porn star kind of way. Like if I got her drunk enough bad things would happen. I love me some Britney Spears


Posted in Art of Man, Computers, General Life, My demons, River with tags , on July 27, 2011 by theerivs

There’s a certain brotherhood within the tech universe, that we computer people share.

At several places I worked, like Governors State, or FTD there have been numerous amount of Techs that worked with me, sometimes being the lone IT guy at this company I miss that camaraderie of fellow nerds, and geeks. Not just for the mere fact of having people backing me up when I’m not around, just to have someone there to bounce ideas off of, and to let off steam.

Governors State University was probably the greatest place I ever worked, because I had such awesome people surrounding me. The awesomest thing is I had a hand in shapping their future. There’s alot of Governors State Interns that I helped mold, and went on to great careers in IT.

It was a great learning atmosphere as well, we would set up our own test systems, and play around with them. Push each other when it came to pass certfiications, and then we would let off steam together. We would play games until 5am on the campus network, then go hit Egg and I restaurant for some hazelnut coffee. The memories of the screams of those interns as I crush them in a video game like Starcraft, or Quake still makes me chuckle.

FTD was the same way, a bunch of men and women working for a big company in the trenches together, we would do alot together. Go to bars, and to this one guys house which was nerd haven. We played video games on a projector against a wall. Most of us would play World of Warcraft together, and we would talk about it endlessly. You would think we would get tired of it, no we wouldn’t. We would all play this Tron game at work, and one day an unknown player logs on called “YourFired”, and started destroying all of us, it turned out to be our boss.   I would work Saturdays, and it would be slow in the afternoon, and we would just shoot the shit. Talk about florists, and their stupidity.  One time for a party I brought some Mt.Gay Rum, screaming who wants to reach the top of Mt. Gay, or when my buddy Legger, got so drunk he was ordering Grey Goose, and Vodkas at North Beach.

Like all things, times and places change and I’m stuck here, one lone beastie I be. It’s not wholly a bad thing, but once in awhile I miss when I have a stupid user, there’s no one to turn to, to comment and laugh, or when we want to blow off steam and hit lunch all together. I’m not one to live in the past, but once in a while when things are tough here, I miss those days.



Posted in Art of Man, General Life, My demons, River on July 26, 2011 by theerivs

I am a pretty generous guy, at least I try to be. Sometimes people think I’m too generous, and that may make them feel uncomfortable. My cousin White Chocolate has the same problem, we think we have deep pockets.  I can’t speak for WC, but for me when I’m out doing something, I don’t want people to go cheap. I’m an all or nothing type of guy, so I want everyone around me to have as much fun as me.

I am going to be honest here, there’s a dark side to my generosity. I love to corrupt people, I love it when people who can’t handle their booze step up to me, and I buy them shot after shot. I love it if they curse my name in the morning. I love when the goody twoshoes comes to the strip club with us, and I buy them a lapdance. I really don’t know what it is, but I derive a sick pleasure from the corruption of others.

But I digress, one thing I want it known, though I am generous, do not mistake that for weakness. I can smell a person using me a mile away.

Ultra Monday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, My demons, Pure Insanity, River with tags on July 25, 2011 by theerivs

So it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here, let’s start at the beginning. Last weekend, it started with my friend’s Jackass Dad’s birthday.  Jackass’s Dad always cracks me up, he looked at my blond hair and just walked away, shaking his head. Just a great group of people, and had a great time.

Yea I dyed my hair blonde for the block party, I do goofy things to it, and shave it off the next day. Plus the theme was Vikings, so Vikings had blonde hair, right? 

The Block Party came and went, I wish I could give you details but I became functionally retarded between the 2nd, and 3rd shot of Absinthe.  It was real hot, and I know I wandered around alot, and I lost a lot of fluid drooling over all the scantily clad girls. Overall it was a good time, but this year it seemed flat, not as great as the years past. I really can’t put my finger on it. I would blame the heat, but it’s always been hot at the block party that never stopped us before.

I took a couple days off, I was going to go downtown and sight see, but it was way too hot. I got some things done, went out for a few drinks.

This weekend was pretty interesting. Friday went out with Jackass, and German.  We were hanging out with some girls, and they started fighting, and I was the reason. I was hammered, and it happened way to fast. German said that a girl, we’ll call Killer said something to a girl we’ll call Mulva. Mulva pushed her, and it was on.  I thought I heard something about “Breaking River’s heart”, and German filled me in, he says Killer said, “So you’re the reason River went to Teehans, Are you his girlfriend, you want to fight me?”  Something to that effect. The fucked up thing is they we’re both mad at me cause I didn’t really choose a side.  In my defense and it happened so fast, plus I may have leaned to Killer’s side a little more, cause she is one of my best friend’s sister.

It was a booze-fueled moment of stupidity, but I have to admit it was pretty cool, and ego boosting too.

Saturday I stayed in, Sunday I went out for a couple…ok a few, and I had a few too many.  The JWH busboys were having a party in the back of JWH, and there were some fine Mexican hotties there, but other then that just went home.

Well I’m back to work now, and it’s really biting my balls right now, cause everyone saves things until I get back, and dumps them on me.

Photo Friday

Posted in Art of Man with tags on July 15, 2011 by theerivs

I don’t know classically speaking Rosario isn’t the prettiest of the bunch, but she exudes a sexuality. The way she moves, and acts in her movies. There is something that jumps out at you and goes, Wow.

A Blonde Moment

Posted in Art of Man, Barlife, My demons, Philosophy, Pure Insanity, River with tags , on July 15, 2011 by theerivs

So much thanks to Geek Princess, she dyed my hair blonde, and did a great job. Thanks to Nascar, Frumpy, Tallegdega, and Commando for cheering me on. Everyone is doing a double take, and just digging it. Even my Mom liked it. The people at work after taken aback, really liked it.

It isn’t going to last, cause at the block party this year, I’m doing it into a mohawk, and then later shaving it all off. Until then when I do something stupid I could say I had a blonde moment.

When I looked in the mirror when I went blonde I wondered why I went to extreme lengths, and then I laughed.

Last night went out for a few drinks. Saw this real cute bartender from Durbins up at JWH, drunk as a mother fucker, and I was really shocked cause I thought she was the good girl type….guess I was wrong, speaking of good girl Frumpy yet again surprised me, and joined me at Durbins.

I love corrupting people, I don’t know why I do, maybe something cause I’m corrupted, I like bringing people down to my level. One of the few people I love corrupting the most is Frumpy, more so than other people because she is a quiet, shy girl normally, and when she comes out of her shell she is really funny, that it really cracks me up.

Another reason I like corrupting people, is when they feel like shit the next day it really makes me smile. Can’t have good, without the bad.

Whom the Gods Destroy, They first make Mad.

Posted in My demons, Pure Insanity with tags on July 13, 2011 by theerivs

Old quote I think from Socrates, or Aristotle. The Gods certainly destroyed a friend of mine.

I wasn’t always “popular” nor was I even socialable, when I was a kid growing up I was the proverbial fat kid, picked on, scorned by the girls, blah, blah, blah. It is what it is, let’s move on. So I’m not that popular, I really only had a few friends, the inner cadre so to speak. One of these guys I will call Simian, after a game we made up called Simian King, which was really just basketball played in his basement.

Simian is  extremely intelligent, but with his extreme intelligence came really no common sense. For example he knew all the fallacies of an argument, yet he use to play football in his bare feet in cold weather. Simian and me we’re very good friends, he shared my love of gaming, such board games as Axis and Allies, a strategy game based on World War II, really I sucked, but I was extremely lucky, so sometimes I actually won. Many a night we played Euchre, 500 Rummy, and other card games. He also loved the same shows I did, Star Trek, Dr.Who, Monty Python.

As with all things, it changes. The Inner Cadre of friends grew up, and moved on with their lives. Some went to the army, some moved out of state, and one passed away….Simian was no different, he went to see the world in the Peace Corps, then went to teach english in Korea.

Then a visit back home for Christmas,  with another close friend of mine, Simian started acting very strange, and saying wierd stuff like how people are watching him, and asked if I had cameras set up in Korea. We alerted his sister, that Simian was acting very odd indeed. Turns out he was diagnosed with several mental illnesses, and was given medicine.

Well he went back to Korea, and obviously stopped taking his meds.  That’s when the emails started, just insane, paranoid emails, each one a dagger to my heart.  Each time me pleading for him to go get some help, each time he wouldn’t.  His poor family is at their wits, end they tried everything. We all even are trying tough love, meaning no real support so he turns to the support he needs. Even that isn’t working.

He came back from Korea yesterday, and he is in his family’s care, they are trying to get him help, but he is refusing. In the end I’m just so sad, and angry, my old friend is gone, and the one that has taken control of his body is getting me angry, like I just want to beat him until he starts making sense again.  I know all the old cliches, about making a horse drink, and logically I know there is nothing I can do…except pray.

Middle Aged Man

Posted in General Life, My demons on July 12, 2011 by theerivs

There was a skit on Saturday Night Live about a super hero dude named Middle Aged Man, when asked about his father, Old Aged Man what the difference was, Middle- Aged Man replies, “I know how to program a VCR”

Another friend turns 40, I dwell on my ever growing age, and it blows my fucking mind. It really does. Not to the fact that “Oh I’m getting older”, more like I fucking survived this long. All my high school friends from back in the day always thought I would be the first one to die. Actually when one of my friends died many years ago, another friend looked at me and went, “Always thought you’d be the first”

I use to live life very recklessly, gambling, drinking, drugs were a way of life, and not only did I dabble I would seek danger out. I would go to the worst neighborhoods, drive around, and dare someone to fuck with me. I remember getting out of Cook County, on 26th and California at around Midnight, and roaming around there until my ride came to pick me up. I remember sitting there on the curb eating a Hostess pie like it was a picnic area, and not one of the worst parts of town.

I have no fear of my fellow man, for pain and suffering means nothing to me, nor am I afraid of death, I do not fear that which I can not avoid. I don’t even fear God, I will answer to him when my time comes. No,  My biggest fear in life is dyeing in my bed of old age. I fear weakness, I fear being a burden on people….

That and spiders.



Monday Hangover

Posted in Art of Man, General Life, My demons, Pure Insanity, River with tags on July 11, 2011 by theerivs

The bible says the sins I commit two by two, I will have to pay for one by one…and I am paying.

Friday after work, I was just sour at it and needed some pizza and beers in me. So I went to the JWH with German, and Jackass surprised us…ok not really. Geek Princess even came out. We started drinking, and having fun. I wanted to go home around 10, somewhere around midnight, I realized I was in for a long haul. Tallegdega’s sisters were out and about, and Jackass and Me went out to Dendrino’s with them. Some random girl goes she was going to Tim Mcgraw concert, I said I hope Tim Mcgraw gets ball cancer, she flipped out on me. Tallegdega’s sisters rushed to my defense, it really touched me. I never had a girl stick up for me, and almost go to war for me. That night I had two.  I also ran into my friend’s niece which was really…really odd. I knew her since she was like 5.

Saturday –  I met Jackass, Torino, and Stitches even came out for a drink….well 2 drinks, and 50 shots. We went to Home Depot, aka Chicago Blu, and really knocked the shots back, we were relentless. I was fucked up nine different ways, because I didn’t eat anything. Just got up and went to Chi Blu. I was grocery shopping, and passed out in the parking lot for 45 minutes. I never got my second wind, I just stayed home the rest of the night.

Sunday – Was Towelie’s bday party…his 40th yikes that means mine is creeping ever so close. It was a good day, really hot and humid though, but I survived. The usualy cast was all there. Drinking Bacardi-O and Red Bulls got me back in the mood to drink. I then stopped by Durbins, and they put me to fricking work, I got a few free beers out of it. Overall a great time. Towelie is just a great guy, this guy makes the salt of the earth look like a pile of dogshit, and I’m glad he’s my friend.

Monday – Who knew drinking 3 gallons of Red Bull would give you a shitty nights sleep….yep paying for it now…one by one. I thought to myself, I could a nap…then my boss walked past….FUCK!

Photo Friday

Posted in Art of Man with tags on July 8, 2011 by theerivs

New Transformer girl…enjoy….