booooooo…I’m talking to you from beyond the grave. LOL!
Wow I would of been 42 today.
I wonder what I missed. Jackass get married? RJ having a baby, or close to it? I sure do miss you guys. i miss and love you all.
Did someone piss on my grave? I smell something funny. 🙂
by Christina Georgina Rossetti
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
They say that the bright star burns out faster. Jim was a bright star indeed. Whenever he came into a room it was lit up. His friends loved him, and he loved his friends. He would go above and beyond every single time. Jim passed away a few days ago, and he will be dearly missed.
So many stories to share about Jim. We had such great times together. I met Jim while working at Governors State University, and back in those days even though I had some great friends there wasn’t many back in those days. We had many adventures together, and I’m going to share some with you. First I want to tell you that Jim was there for me every single time. I remember I had a birthday and told a bunch of my friends from back then that I was going up to Bourbon to celebrate. The only one who showed was Jim. That day he earned my friendship, and I hope he realized I was his.
One of the stories with Jim put me in the legend category. He was having a party, and I brought my traditional bottle of whiskey. I didn’t know many people there, but as I put the bottle down on the table a party goer asks me, “You going to drink that whole bottle?” I reply, “Yep” He goes, “I’ll give you a hundred dollars if you chug that bottle of whiskey, and not puke.” Being the whore I am I said of course I would do it, we hammered out some minor details like I couldn’t puke in an hour, and I had to actually chug it, no breaks. Well without thinking any more about it, I chugged the whole thing like a champ. Ever see Animal House where John Belushi chugged that bottle of whiskey, same thing. I got very sick that night, but Jim looked over me. Making sure I got food in my belly, and just making sure I didn’t die. He didn’t have to do that, but he did.
Another tale of Jim is also legendary. One night he just purchased a new Nissan Xterra, and we were drinking at Dendrinos at 4am. He turns to me, and goes, “Lets go offroading” Me being the person I am replies, “Fuck yes”. So we find a spot and we’re offroading in this brand new Truck. We are going up and down hills, conquering the terrain, then we go up for a jump….SPLASH! Right into this murky morass. We’re stuck. Though try as we might we’re stuck. We call one of our friends with a truck, and tow straps to get us out. He didn’t answer cause it was 5am at this point, so I call my brother who I knew was up. My brother picked us up, and we got a few hours of sleep. Then we got his truck out of that swamp. That truck was never the same after that.
Then there was the time we took a class together, and we had all the answers to the tests, and homework. The teacher never changed anything so we cheated big time. We got the same grades on everything, and we had the same answers but we decided to bomb some stuff so the teacher didn’t get to suspicious. At the end I got an ‘A’, and he got a ‘B’. He was pissed. He would rant and rave about how we had the same grades, yet I got an A. What can I say the teacher liked me more.
There are many, many more stories I could share but I would be here all day. Jim was a good guy, and his death hit me hard. I always felt bad for him because his life started to go south, when his marriage failed, and his career faltered. He kind of shunned me when that started happening I think because he wasn’t happy, or maybe was ashamed, from a mutual friend I heard he changed, and turned to the bottle. No matter the case I wished he knew that I never stopped being his friend, and I don’t give a fuck where you are in life, my friendship is not based on how well you do in life. As long as I have a roof over my head, so do my friends.
Jimmy, I’ll miss you buddy…take care wherever you are.
Death never gets any easier, I have endured the death of many loved ones, and yet it never becomes easy. Is there a point where it gets easier? That I don’t know. This weekend a friend of mine passed away. She and I weren’t the closest of friends, I think because we were both guarded people, and not for anything lacking in our friendship, , but she was a good friend in terms she was always there when it counted. . She was always there at the milestones of my life for the past few years, closing in on almost a decade. Now she won’t be there any longer. She will be sorely missed.
She was a quiet, and shy girl, and I would love to tease her into action. When she would yell at me at some inappropriate thing I did or said, but with her smiling at me. That was a great reward. She didn’t have it easy, and I knew this. So making her laugh and smile was some of the moments I treasured. She’s at peace now though, and I will always remember, and honor her memory. Take care Katie, and Rest in Peace.
My thoughts and prayers go out to her family, her sister, and to the rest of my friends.
Today is my Grandfather’s 90th birthday, technically is not of my blood. My Grandmother divorced before I was born, and remarried this man. Let me tell you of this man.
When I was 5 or 6, He would chase trains for miles, just because I loved seeing Cabooses. He taught me a great many things like how to rollerskate, and to have a good sense of humor. I remember at Halloween, I would stay by his house, and he would bang a wall to try to scare me, or do something goofy.
The man loved me like I was his own, and he was always there for me through thick or thin, never judging me. So I will always be there for him.
Happy Birthday Grandpa, I love you.
Well it was a good weekend for the most part.
I had Friday off so I can’t complain. I pretty much stayed in..and watched TV..kinda…sorta.
Saturday, I went shopping for Mother as I always do. Things are getting worse financially. I’m basically buying her groceries now. I’m a little disgusted because this shit could of been avoided, but she’s stubborn.
Then it was RJ’s birthday party. She hit 30. Wow. It was a great party. Caught up with my great friends. Hit the bars afterwards. Poor Commando had too much to drink. She got tuckered out early.
Sunday was Easter. My Father was running late so I had to put up with my Grandpa, bitching him out. Then dealing with my Mom. Ugh I needed a drink after that.
I didn’t sleep too much last night, so sorry for not much details. I drank a little too much Red Bull last night. Going to relax tonight, and just vegetate.
I signed up for a 5k run. Never thought I would say that, nor would I ever even think I would do it. Sure I might be walking most of it, but damn it. I’m going to try and run most of the damn bastard.
So I headed back to the gym today. I think the guy working the front desk looked like he saw a ghost. He said, “It’s been awhile” I go, “Yeah” I thought I heard him telling another person he thought I died, that could of just been my imagination though.
I head to the eclipitcal machine. My goal was 30 minutes. The first 10, I was thinking I’m going to die, and wanted to stop. By the 20 minute mark I was getting into a groove, and the rest of the 30 minutes went by pretty good. When I tried to climb off the machine, my legs were jelly and I felt wobbly, but I recovered quickly, got some water and left. This week I’m just going to concentrate on making sure my ass gets to the gym, and do 30 minutes on ecliptical. Next week I’m going to add some weights into the mix.
Most important thing though is to make sure my ass gets to the gym tomorrow morning.
Friday I was a good boy caught up on my TV. I love watching The Following, Walking Dead, and my new show is The Vikings. What can I say I wish I was a Viking.
Saturday, I went and spent some time with my good friend Jackass, and the German. We went to the Boat, I had a set amount I was going to lose, and I kept to that so I’m proud of myself. Even though I loss, The German bought me some lunch, so that was cool. That night I really didn’t feel like going out, but I promised Commando I would, and I am a man of my word. So I went to Sullivans for a couple, and saw my friends new cover bamd, Throttle. They we’re pretty good. So I am happy I stopped up there.
Sunday – I went to mass with my Grandfather, and I drove him to visit my Grandmother’s grave, after which we had some lunch. It was a good day spending time with my grandpa. He’s nearing 90 and these moments are truly precious because I don’t know how many more I have.
So not a wild weekend, compared to passing out at the Irish Parade, but hey it is what it is.
The last week or so, I feel adrift. I don’t really know what I’m doing, or what I want anymore. Perhaps it because of the recent break up, I don’t know. It’s hard to explain, I just feel very disconnected from everything, like a numb feeling. Not bad, or depression, but not good, or happy…just numb. The trip to Kentucky was awesome, and I had fun, but still back here…back in reality that which is life things are a little more gloomy. I feel like I am a ship on the ocean, drifting in uncharted seas, not really knowing where I am going, or what I am doing.
All I know is I hope this little funk I am in passes soon, I’m sure it will. Going out with my friends always cheers me up. I’ll create some goals, and achieve them, because that is what I do.
After Maker’s Mark I had plenty of time left, so I decided to hit some other distilleries. I hit Heaven Hill Distilleries next, they make Even Williams, Old Fitzgerald, and the new Larceny Whiskey which I wanted to try. The tour was very informative, and I learned alot about the history of whiskey there. I also learned that if you open a bottle of whiskey 12 months it’s starts losing it’s flavor, and starts to go bad, so if you order a whiskey from a bar, and it isn’t clear and it appears a little cloudy when you look at it, It’s bad. Luckily if you don’t open it, it lasts forever. Though I don’t think I’ve ever had a bottle last longer then 12 hours, let alone months.
Then when I went to Jim Beam, I was a little taken aback. They built a new gift shop which is huge. Let me back up a bit, last time I was there in 2005 they let us tour the distillers house which is from the 1800’s then after the tour there was a nice girl handing out samples. I was talking to her and being friendly, and she kept feeding me shots, so much so I almost got really drunk. Fast forward to 2013, the distellers house is closed to the public, and they handed me a electronic card which allowed me to go to a machine and get two shot of various brands of whiskey. Though I understand why, I think it’s horseshit. I don’t think that’s what Bourbon Whiskey is all about.
That night I decided to go get some local flavor. I had dinner at a little place called Mammy’s Kitchen. The food…awesome, but what really knocked me back was the Peach Cobbler. Holy shit I almost had to change my panties it was so good. After that I decided to take the advice of the Cracker Barrel waitress and try out The Old Tavern. It was very nice, and had a lot of charactor. A really good band was playing, called Big Black Cadiilac. They played old time rock, some blues, and some 70’s/80’s stuff too. I was drinking, and making friends with the bartender who was pretty cute. We did a couple shots together. With all that I was starting to feel pretty good. So the band started playing Stevie Ray Vaughn, Pride and Joy. I thought they know this, they got to know Sweet Home Chicago. So I bought the band a round of shots, and asked them to play it. They did. I went nuts started dancing, and singing along. A group of girls joined me on the dance floor. I had to drink, and bought at least 100 dollars in booze, my tab only was 28 bucks, needless to say I left a big tip. They closed at 1, so I left about 12:30, and on the way to my car I noticed Mammy’s was still open, so I walked in. They have a little bar there, some acoustic guy was playing. I decided to have one there. I started to talk to the bartender, and after awhile we started getting deep. She told me about her problems, I replied with some of my wisdom. She looked at me, and said, “Wow, I never thought of it that way, thank you” It feels good that maybe I helped a complete stranger, and that she might remember me long after I’m gone. She then said, “You hungry?” I said, “Does a frog have a water tight ass?” She laughed, she went in back came back with one of thee best pulled pork sandwiches I ever had, or it could of been I was drunk and hungry. Either way it was good, and it was on the house. After that they closed, I went back to my hotel exhausted after all my adventures.
Next morning, it was time to return from whence I came. Before I started my trip home I had once more task to grab some breakfast, and thank that waitress….alas she was not working. So I returned home and when I got closer to Illinois it started to rain and get colder…I knew I was home.
Chaotic Ramblings 